how can anyone not see that this woman perpetrated a fraud against her ex-husband and her children? how can the kids not see that she LIED TO THEM as well as to him? if money were not the issue why does she continue to expect and ask for it?
what her enrique did was hurtful to the kids and i dont agree with his choice of actions. however, i can understand it. it must be devastating to learn that the child you have loved all those years is not your own. also, from a cultural perspective, machismo and paternity is exceptionally important to spanish and latino men. he was hurt very badly and he wanted to lash out; while i dont agree with what he did on any level but i can see how the issue may have evolved.
this woman knew from the beginning that this child may not be his. hell, she may have been reasonably certain of it from the way she "warned" him that the kid may not look like him. differences in skin color among family members isnt that unusual so why did she feel that she needed to issue a disclaimer? she herself said that "there was no chance' he was not the father so in addition to her infidelity and the lies she told him at the time, she also lied when he specifically asked her.
since she is the custodial parent in the first place, does anyone besides me doubt her veracity when it comes to what she has told her children and not just since the dna test but since the divorce happened in the first place? she has told lies for so long she may not even know what the real truth is and if such is the case she needs to admit to that too.
i hurt for selina and her sister, they are the unwitting victims of their mothers lies and cowardice and greed and their "fathers" pain and rage. it must be so damaging and confusing to find out that your dad isnt your "dad" and that he no longer wants to be in your life or have you in his. there is nothing that will take that hurt away or make what enrique did alright or acceptable. however, hopefully as she gets older she will see her way clear to have some sort of relationship with him which i think they both want. at least their new relationship will be based up on truth, from selina and enrique if not her mother. sister must feel so torn between her father and her sister and mother. she wants to see and be with her dad but she probably feels so disloyal to the other side of her family that she must just want to hide away from them all.
something very important has gotten lost in all the accusations and anger of this topic. that is, the biological father has not been told the truth either. perhaps he would like to have a relationship with a child he doesnt know he has. perhaps, for whatever reason, he has not been able to have other children. if he has, they may want to get to know their sister. the same goes for his parents, they most likely would want to know that they have a grandchild that theyve never known about and might like to get to know her.
strictly from a health standpoint, all of the people involved might want to know all of the potential genetic skeletons in their closets. the possibility of needing a bone marrow or organ transplant may come up in the life of one of the people involved, as would any racial tendencies toward a particular illness such as sickle cell anemia.
carnell smith had some very accurate and important things to say on this subject as well. women are not expected or forced to be accountable for their own actions when it comes to telling the truth, or even finding it out for themselves, when it comes to the paternity of their children. im sure most of us have seen the shows "on other networks" who constantly have guests ONLY to get tested for paternity and the female guests that have tested MULTIPLE men because they have no idea who their childs or childrens father or fathers are. why should a woman profit or collect child support from a man who is not the biological father and has never been given reason to suspect that he may not be until after years of lies and deceit. perhaps, enrique might have forgiven her and gone on to be a father to selina but know one will ever know now. women get away with lying to their kids and the "fathers" of their kids over and over. this woman has the height of gall to say now "well, he didnt ask me so i didnt tell him he may not be her father". what a load of crap!!! how dare she say that its his responsibility to figure out the truth when she went to such trouble to keep the truth from him? in my opinion, there is every possibility that this woman is an unfit mother in that she certainly was and/or is not motivated by the best interests of her children.
gloria allred claims to be a feminist fighting for the rights of women and that american men are not stepping up and taking responsibility for the children they father. i can understand why men hesitate to step up and shou lder their responsibilities and pay child support; they "are damned if they do and damned if they dont". i cant see how allowing women to lie and perpetrate fraud repeatedly and on such a grand scale nationally, is anything but a tool to enable women to get more than they have coming to them. it more than illustrates the position that women have to lie and cheat in order to recieve "their due". how else can this be taken but as an indicator that women are, and never have been or will be, unable to succeed on the even playing field that allred and the femistics "say' that they are asking for.
allred said repeatedly on the show that this "isnt about the money, its about the children". well then, take the money off the table and have the women sign away all claim to child support from the men who are not the biological fathers of their children. lets see the women who do they lying refuse to accept the child support from men who only believe they are fathers because of the lies. i agree strongly that these men should be part of the lives of their "nonchildren" but dont penalize them for believing their wives and girlfriends. women who lie about the paternity of their children should be charged with fraud and made to pay back the money they took under false pretenses.
as a woman, i am ashamed to count maria as one of my gender and i am even more ashamed that gloria allred purports to speak for women. she most definitely DOES NOT SPEAK FOR ME. as a little girl i was raised to believe that i can succeed at anything if i put my mind and back into it. i helped my father work on cars and my mother shingle the roof, i was taught to cook and sew as well as how to shoot, hunt and fish, i was encouraged in math and the sciences as well as in literature and languages and not once over all those years was i told that i would have to lie to get what i deserved because that is how it is for a woman. i was also raised to take responsibilities for my own actions and to tell the truth when i have made a mistake.
most of my adult life i have lived and worked in primarily male dominated fields. i served in the United States Navy and worked in the construction industry building homes and commercial buildings. i helped to build concrete block walls and pour concrete, i did some carpentry work and acted as both a project estimator and manager and as a construction superintendent and with the exception of the obvious physical differences, i have NEVER felt that i had to lie or cheat or ask for special treatment nor have i ever felt less feminine or womanly because of it. if i sound proud of that, its because i am. gloria allred should be ashamed of trying to keep that feeling of accomplishment and pride from other women because she has no faith in her own gender.
women cannot have it both ways; either we are equal to men and deserve all the perks, rights AND responsibilities that go with be aware, active, EQUAL partners in society or we are pathetic, helpless, shrinking violets who must resort to lies and subterfuge to be able to survive and care for our children.
(Original Air Date: 10/29/07) Fraud. lies. conspiracy. They may sound like the latest Washington scandal, but these are allegations of exes at war over child support. Dr. Phil's guests claim they became victims of the perfect crime when they were led to believe they fathered a child that was not biologically their own and were forced to pay. First up, Enrique says he was shocked and angered to discover he was not the father of his youngest daughter, Selina, and that she was conceived during his ex-wife, Maria's, adulterous affair. Maria says he raised Selina but then abandoned her to save money. Why does Maria say Enrique's current wife is to blame for the fractured relationship? Next, 13-year-old Selina speaks one on one with Dr. Phil. Will she decide to let the man she once called Daddy back in her life? Then, Carnell Smith, who uses the online moniker, "Man4Justice," suffered a similar fate to Enrique, and but he fought and won. He says he's tired of seeing women trap men and get away with it. A heated debate ensues between him and feminist attorney, Gloria Allred, who argues that men like Enrique should continue to act as the father ... and continue paying! Talk about the show here.
