Topic : 12/25 Parent Trap

right on!

Boy, was I surprisied by todays topic! For more than five (5) years I personal have had the urge, desire, or inclination to write to "ALL" of the major TV host concerning this matter. But as time went on I started to believe that this was a "rare" sistuation. Boy, was I wrong! The court system  in my state is set up to protect the state  (they say it's for the childs benefit) from "paying, issuing" or being "responsiable" for collecting child support from the true biological father, even when all evidence proves who the biological father is , I'm held accountable(bird-n-the bush is better than nothing) . In my sistuation my name is on the birth certificate as I was told the child-Angela- was mine. I have not seen the child-her name is Angela, she just turned 12-since July 2001. I have been ordered by the court to pay child support on a child I have no contact with, while her biological father seees her, hoildays, school breaks and any time he desires or her mother takes her over. Keep in mind, the court system has orderied visitations rights for myself, in which the court and the mother along with the biological father, knows and knew this was not my child. So the mother is collecting child support along with medical insurance from me and the biological father pays from my understanding nothing. Brovo to the producers of this show!! Sad to say but I felt a little better knowing I was not the only person. The biggest thing is how this affects my family now, and benifits if I was to die suddlenly. Producers of this show, is help available? Stuck in Louisiana

While it certainly was the wife/mother who started this entire scenario, I believe the second-wife was the one who started this problem.  It sounded as if she was the one who did not want to pay child-support. I find it rather hard to believe that the father did not question whether or not he was the father.  I do not understand how he (or any parent) could approach this subject with a ten-year old in the manner he did it.  Shame on him for the rest of his life.  What was he thinking? Obviously not of Seline.  She is a beautiful young girl who I can imagine anyone would be proud to call their daughter.  Whether or not the "biological" father is in the picture or not, Enrique is the one who had helped raise her and the one she (a ten year old) considered her father.  I hope he is paying now - not in just monetary terms but in the shame he brought on himself.  At this point, I believe we need to get past the fact that the "mother" failed - that is an entirely different topic for discussion.  This young girl, who has the rest of her life ahead of her, has a black mark on her soul when - for the untimely utterance of a paternal figure - she had to feel unwanted and as if she had done something wrong.  Of course, no one thinks she does.  But, I do hope she has limited contact with her "step-mother." I smell trouble there.  Good luck to all.

 It looks to me like both mom and dad are to blame here.  How dare either of them grandstand as to who is the more responsible party!  This woman had the nerve to deceive him!  She even said "she (the child) may be darker, may have curly hair, etc"  This was from the beginning a lie! She knew she was wrong!

But on the flip side, how dare he?!  To take your then ten year old child to a playground and say "I'm not your dad?"  It takes more than biology to call yourself a dad...period.  If he was filling that role, he IS her dad.  To do what he has done to his little girl; he should be ashamed of himself!

Neither of them deserve anything.  If he wanted out of paying child support, that should have been an issue he and the mother kept to themselves.  It should not have been something that affected the child in ANY shape form or fashion.  And bravo to her new husband.  At least HE seems like the sane one and is willing to stand up for this little girl's best interests.  He seems to be the only one.

Don't get me started on Gloria Allred.  Nutcase!!!

It seems that everyone is overlooking the most important aspect of this situation...the emotional wellbeing of Selina.  I am a foster mom and see firsthand every day what it does to a child when a parent abandons him.  Enrique should be FURIOUS with Maria for her dishonesty and betrayal.  He also should not be obligated to pay any further child support if he does not wish.  I do believe, however, that he can still parent Selina and let her know that she is loved and cared for by him.  If this is not the case, and he does not feel any connection to Selina any longer, he should step back and let her stepfather adopt her, and fight the courts. Otherwise, he should want to be certain that all of her needs are met as he does for his other daughter -- financially and otherwise.  Selina should not be held responsible for the actions of her mother. 

My husband and I love the children that come into our home and we go through hell and high water to make certain each of them know it. Every child deserves to know that he is loved by someone --- and to feel it every day.  They are victims of circumstance and we, as adults, need to do right by them. 

Lets assume the news was broken down to the child in the BEST WAY then we were to ask the child what she wants to see happen. She would probably say i want my "father" to still love me! Now Enrique is willing to do that BUT his ex wife is including money into the equation, WHY? She started the problem and is continuing the problem by FORCING the child support. Come on lady, he gave that child a good 10 years of EVERYTHING she needed, most importantly LOVE in the vital years of the child's up bringing.
My biggest question is where is her ownership to all this, i mean its seems as though she is trying to make other people take the financial responsibilities, she should take responsibility for her own action.

And as for the feminist lawyer, she contradicted herself a lot and her points were weak and many were proven wrong. The only ground she had to attack was how Enrique broke the news to the child. For God's sake he doesn't deny it wasn't a poor way to do it and he is VERY sorry about it. He even wants to restore the broken relationship with the girl !! We are ALL guilty of not making the best decisions when we are highly emotional !!

IN CONCLUSION i think that the mother is putting Money First and Child Second !! if she put the child's interest first then she would ALLOW Enrique to be in the child's life without slapping the child support !!

 

There are multiple mistakes being made here, and plenty of blame to go around.  The father, Enrique, reacted out of anger and hurt when he revealed the truth to his daughter.  He was wrong to do it, but it was certainly understandable, given the circumstances.  He should, of course, have been mature enough to separate the feelings and not take it out on the young girl.

 

That said, if he truly feels remorseful about the way he handled it, he should definitely try everything possible to reconnect with the daughter and continue to be emotionally connected.  I very strongly feel, however, that the emotional and the financial responsibilities should be separated here.  Since the mother obviously started the ball rolling here, she should be willing to pay the piper and pick up the future financial support herself.  This man should not be penalized for the sins of the mother.  Emotional father, yes.  Financial father, no.

 

Gloria Allred can make all the noise she wants about deadbeat dads, etc., etc., but the issue here is one of right vs. wrong.  And the father should not have to track down the biological father and sue him for the money.  Since the mother is the only one who really knows who he is, it should be her responsibility to chase him down.  If she chooses not to, she should just bite the bullet and support the daughter she chose to bring into this world.

 

Enrique needs to come to terms with his emotions on this issue, and then do what's best for this child.  He should not, however, have to pay child support.

 

That women destroyed two peoples lives.  The supposed father and her daughters.  Based on her actions, It's obvious she cares for no one but herself.  I can't think of anything more devastating to a child than to find out the man you call father, is not...and the knowledge that your mother has lied to you and your father since the day you were born. 

I believe ANY woman found guilty of this crime should be charged with a Felony!  The female attorney trying to argue a position for the mother sounded like an idiot.  I think she knew she was debating a losing argument, that's why she was shouting to be heard.

I feel sorry for the little girl caught up in her mothers lie.

My heart goes out to the little girl.  In my opinion, neither parent deserves her.  Adults do make terrible mistakes, and I think that Enrique realizes that he made a mistake.  The constant smirk on the mother's face really bothered me.  She doesn't even feel remorse for the pain that SHE caused everyone involved.  Although I know that Enrique did make a major misjudgment in his decision to cut off contact with the daughter, he realizes that he made a mistake (probably a little too late).  Regardless, the mother's sense of "entitlement" to child support is wrong.  I think Enrique should sue Maria for fraud, and I also think that they should go after the biological father. The biological father should be the one responsible, but only from this point forward if he didn't know about her.  If it turns out that the biological father knew that the little girl was his, he should also be sued for fraud.

What kind of man would just aboandon his child? I see all this support for him, it makes me sad. While I'm not trying to excuse what the mother did, I am saying that this man has a black, greedy heart , he values money over his daughter. Yes I say she's his daughter because that other man was just a sperm donor. He's the one who raised her, loved her and in the end abandoned her like a pile of garbage.