Topic : 12/25 Parent Trap

 This didn't seem to be a problem 15-20 years ago,  its as though people had more decency, and smarts! Why is birth control such a hard concept to grasp? But I would like to remind you that it takes 2 to tango, you seem to be blaming women! Why aren't men protecting themselves before they jump into bed? If men aren't protecting themselves they should be prepared for the phone call!

Although I feel for the child because she is the biggest victim in the whole situation, but what about the biological father who didn't know or get the chance to be a father to this little girl he is also a victim. In some parts of Canada this is already law. A woman can go after a boyfriend for child support if she has been with him for a determined amount of time. Unfortunately this benefits the women in these scenarios as depending on how much the spouse/boyfriend earns in a year the woman may never have to work until the child/ren reach the age of majority.

As a mother, having been in a similar situation, I can not for the life of me understand how either of these people can possibly look that little girl in the eye and feel anything but shame for what they have done to her!  As a parent, you should always want to keep your children safe from harm, not be the one to inflict it!  What Maria did 13 years ago was an act against her husband.  Yes, look what has become of her bad judgment.  However, what he (and his new wife) has and is doing is revenge that only kills the heart of that precious child.  She should NEVER have been exposed to any of this horrible fight.  In my opinion, he should have gone right on loving HIS daughter by being the same father to her that he always was without ever letting her know ANYTHING at all about what was going on behind the scene.  In fact, the only thing he has accomplished with his fight to keep from paying is making this little girl pay instead.  Let's face it, she will be the only one that will ultimately suffer the rest of her life! And as far as Maria and her new husband...is child support worth it now?  Is is not enough that this man paid for the years he was deceived, couldn't and shouldn't you consider that to be fair?  You do still have support for the older child.  Really, just how much is it worth to you for the heart of your child?

At the risk of sounding better than anyone else, I have lived with a situation very similar with the exception of fraud.  My son's assumed father and I divorced in a very hard battle for custody.  He was given joint managing conservator without having to pay child support.  That means that he has basically every right as a father without having any responsibilities.  For the last 14 years, I have sent my child to be with his father every 1st, 3rd and 5th weekend, every other holiday and every summer break without this man ever paying one dime of financial support.  However, all of this meant nothing to my son because his father was still his father to him.  How could I ever tell my son that his daddy isn't his daddy anymore?  My son is 17 years old now and I still have a hard time thinking about the day I will have to tell him the truth.  But for now, I want nothing more than for him to just grow up being a normal and happy kid.  I would think that would be what all parents would want for their children in spite of what stupid things they have done to each other.

Its just totally wrong to not let a man know that he may not be the father. Only reason I can see why a - and I use this term loosely ( because they were)- woman would not fess up is because of embarrassment and shame. Which they should be but get over it. You did while you were doing the do, so dance! The  sperm didn't hop out of one "vessel" then magically float in to a random uterus. These women should just be honest!!!! Point blank . No man should pay for another's unless he so desires when he knows the truth, Then in the situation of finding out way later, once a bond is formed you know the man should really consider the innocent child's feelings and how this will contribute to their adult life. UNCONDITIONAL is unconditional. Its not the kids fault. And Gloria needs to sit down somewhere, getting all huffy, excuse me, He ain't the DADDY  the GIRL lied! Its  not the problem of unsupported children being on welfare. the problem lies on the mothers not being honest on how the lay/lie however you want it.  Find the real fathers get them to pay, and sometimes the natural father does not pay and thats  how some  children end up on state aid yes going after the Wrong man is wrong.  When they get in this mess the females should just say it could be you or you. Can you both ( or how many it is) take a DNA so this child can have  the truth.

LDM56 CONCURS!

i do feel that enrique did approach the daughter in question the totally wrong way  it could and should have been done totally different but what is done is done

 now for the mother why is it that all females get away with whatever they set out to do   it seems that they can never do any wrong   this show should have been about what she did to destry all parties involved    she lied she cheated she stole from both the so called father by tricking him into thinking he was the father of the child when she knew all along that she whored around and most likely knew that erique was not the biological father to the child but she made the decision to cheat lie steal and yes destroy all feelings of all the parties involved    she is the one that the child should be upset with she the mother is the one who destryed the family values and bonds that were between the child and the so called father   i want to know why the mother is not being charged with some kind of breaking of the law as she should be    she should also be forced by the courts to repay the man child support for all the years that she betrayed the child and so called father   she should by law be forced to make restitution to the child as well as the male involved  until the courts start playing fair with these low life females hey will continue to do as they wish and manipulate the system to their wants and needs and meanwhile who really gets hurts the kids    the females take absolutely no responsibility for their negative actions because they know that all they have to do is lie cheat stael and manipulate the human race they should be held accountable for their actions and then maybe we as a nation won't have so mush welfare and waste of taxpayers money being thrown down the toilet  this can be a very easliy solved problem all we have to do is make females for once tell the truth about all their cheating ways in life     all men should make dna tests a thing to do whenever a woman says she is pregnant  right from the beginning so that they don't get screwed in life as well as the kids they are the innocent ones   there are alot of good decent honset men out there who would jump at the chance to raise there offspring providing they really knew if they belonged to them or not      and then the true theives in life the lawyers would not make so much money on other peoples bad luck

I am in shock that Enrique felt the need to abandon the child he thought was biologically his in order to save money. I definitely feel that raising a child for 10 years, regardless of if its biologically yours or not, makes it your child. Its just like a parent adopting a child. Of course, finding out ten years later that the child isnt yours creates a lot of tension between the man and the mother, but how could a man take it out on a child like that! He was her father for TEN YEARS!

I do think that Maria is at blame for the whole situation, to not tell your husband about a child thats not his is pretty selfish.

But as much as I want to stick up for Enrique, I can't. He ultimately abandoned his child to save money. He is selfish, so maybe it is good for Salina to not have him in her life.

I cannot beleive that a man after raising a child for 9 years he would cut off not only financial support, but visitation as well.  He abondoned this little girl.  In no way is it okay to lie about paternaty of a child, and yes the Mother is wrong.  Enrique allowed his new wife to destroy his relationship wih his "daughter" based on the fact that she didn't want him to continue to pay support for her.  What other reason would you do a DNA test 10 years later.  

As for the guy who paid for 11 years and then found out he wasn't the biological, his sitution is different , in that he was not living in the house raising this child.  I just hope that after he did find out he wasn't the biological father he didn't cut off the relationship, just because he no longer has a financial responsibity.  Although for someone who was smart enough to go through all this legal action, why didn't he get a DNA test? Why did he wait 11 years? 

I wanted, needed and couldn't keep myself from weighting in on this topic. I am a single woman with NO children, and I do not date men with children. In the last few months I've really struggled with my decision not to date men with children, but today's show made clear in my mind again just why I don't. 

I can't imagine being married to the man that finds out he has spent years allocating time and money for a child that is not his. I can't imagine the rage that would go through my heart for all the things that our family may have missed out on because of it. Enrique's' new wife should be angry and she has every right to support her husband in not paying for a child that is not his. Yes, I know that I sounds selfish and yes it is selfish for me to say, but I do not think that a man who is not the biological father of a child should be forced to pay child support. 

I speak to this topic as much from an individual fairness position as I do from a personal position. Many people may not realize that in some states the income of the spouse can also be considered in the amount of child support the father is required to pay. That means that a woman who has no parental responsibility to a child will have to partially financially support the child too. I am not sure about other single woman with NO children, but I'll be damed if I ever finance an other woman's life style.  One young woman I know plans her vacations, without her Son mind you, around when her child support check will be in the bank.  I can't imagine 10 dollars of that money being mine. I work to hard and sacrifice to much to help foot the bill for situations like that. If all the women out there would be real for just a minute they will admit they know at least two women that look at child support as "just spending money." I can't speak to the women that really need it, but all the women I know make more than 60K and not need the money, but they willing except it and regularly buy $250 hand bags with it.

If the child is biologically tied to the man, than YES one hundred and ten percent he should have to pay every dime of child support, and be put in jail if he doesn't. No one should skirt their responsibility EVER! But if the child is found not to be his, than NO he should not have to shell out one/one more penny to support some one else's responsibility. My parents always told me, "children suffer the plight of the parent, good, bad, or indifferent." So what does that mean, it means we have to make decisions today based on how and who they will effect tomorrow. OK so we have to take time to think about the things we do and, GOD forbid, make a few sacrifices so that our children have the best plight in life.  But in my opinion taking a few more days or weeks/months to make a hug decision, like weather or not to cheat on your spouse for whatever reason,  would save us so much heart ache and strife in the long run. That is our responsibility as adults, that is the responsibility of parents. When an innocent child is involved, "self" is second, the child is FIRST!