Topic : 12/25 Parent Trap

This topic hits close to home for a number of reasons. My boyfriend was a victim of paternity fraud. The girl has was dealing with at the time swore it was his child to the point of going to his parents house and telling them there was no one else. Every other weekend he drove 3 states to see his child and NEVER skipped on his financial obligations to the child. She didn't have much in the beginning so she made sure to get as much help as she could from him to compensate for her lack of financial and physical support. She took him out for child support when she didn't get cash from him one weekend instead of going to an account they set up for his protection. When she filled out the paperwork for child support she lied under oath stating he was the only person she was with within 60 days of conception. I always knew the child wasn't his and I told him I would not marry him unless he took a test. FINALLY about a month shy of the child's 2nd birthday he took the test and the results were negative. Instead of the girl feeling bad she apologized to him said she was doing it all alone anyway, and later said that he didn't deserve any respect because of their past. What about his family and friends? They loved that child and did more for him then her family ever did.  My point to all of this: she had ample times to say the child may not be his and she choose not to. They were not in a relationship so she was asked several times. She lied under oath more than once. Regardless of who she thought was the child's father there was someone else. It isn't fair to play "process of elimination" with another persons money or life. If you get pregnant you should do everything you can to take care of your child. If there is more than one person that is a father candidate then they should all know. If you were woman enough to lay down be woman enough to admit there may be someone else. Don't "select" someone based on your personal thoughts of who had more of a chance. It only takes one time. My boyfriend was wrong for dealing with her in the first place with no protection because she was not someone he cared for. Regardless of what their past was, he didn't deserve her deceit. These type of women abuse the law and men who want to be a part of their child's life. Not only should they have to financially compensate the men they lied to, but they should be required to tell the biological father they have a child. It is only fair that the other man knows they have a child walking the earth and opt to be a part of their life.  

i think the past is the past! i believe that the child should know who the real father is!. or atleast know that the man who has been taking care of and treating her as his child is not the bialogical father even though he may love and want the relationship to continue knowing he is not the bialogical father, she may aswell. at this point money shouldnt be the issue, however the mother should stand up to her part , morally and leagaly

thanks

truman

Unfortunately, some women do make a career of it.  And when they "trap" a man by getting pregnant by that man, I don't really feel sorry for the man; let him understand the consequences of his actions.  But if it is not the man's child, the man should not have to pay.

 

I do not think Dr. Phil has the same mind set as the "crazy lawyer." Some things just don't need to be harped on; it was clear as day, that the woman was very wrong, and one day Selena is going to grow up and understand that. And at that time, the mother will have to deal with the consequences of her action. He struck me as talking to Enrique, because there is still "hope" for him and he was trying to help him improve the situation.

This topic hits close to home for a number of reasons. My boyfriend was a victim of paternity fraud. The girl has was dealing with at the time swore it was his child to the point of going to his parents house and telling them there was no one else. Every other weekend he drove 3 states to see his child and NEVER skipped on his financial obligations to the child. She didn't have much in the beginning so she made sure to get as much help as she could from him to compensate for her lack of financial and physical support. She took him out for child support when she didn't get cash from him one weekend instead of going to an account they set up for his protection. When she filled out the paperwork for child support she lied under oath stating he was the only person she was with within 60 days of conception. I always knew the child wasn't his and I told him I would not marry him unless he took a test. FINALLY about a month shy of the child's 2nd birthday he took the test and the results were negative. Instead of the girl feeling bad she apologized to him said she was doing it all alone anyway, and later said that he didn't deserve any respect because of their past. What about his family and friends? They loved that child and did more for him then her family ever did.  My point to all of this: she had ample times to say the child may not be his and she choose not to. They were not in a relationship so she was asked several times. She lied under oath more than once. Regardless of who she thought was the child's father there was someone else. It isn't fair to play "process of elimination" with another persons money or life. If you get pregnant you should do everything you can to take care of your child. If there is more than one person that is a father candidate then they should all know. If you were woman enough to lay down be woman enough to admit there may be someone else. Don't "select" someone based on your personal thoughts of who had more of a chance. It only takes one time. My boyfriend was wrong for dealing with her in the first place with no protection because she was not someone he cared for. Regardless of what their past was, he didn't deserve her deceit. These type of women abuse the law and men who want to be a part of their child's life. Not only should they have to financially compensate the men they lied to, but they should be required to tell the biological father they have a child. It is only fair that the other man knows they have a child walking the earth and opt to be a part of their life.  

I'm confused as to why everyone is saying that what he did was unforgivable WHILE not addressing the mother. This is not only about the fact that she lied.. The past is the past and we all make mistakes, but she is JUST AS GUILTY as he is for how he told his daughter. When she told him that he wasn’t the Dad, that should have been right around the time that she should have sat her daughter down with her ex and told her. But no, it turned into he should pay and so on and so forth..And out of shock he made a bad decision.

 

I just don’t understand how the attorney can bad mouth the dad, like he isn't the victim. And the mom sitting there nods her head while he is being bad mouthed. She admits fault, but doesn’t show it. Didn’t tell the daughter to see where he is coming from. She was more worried about the $.

 

The situation is very sad.

 

 I think its so unfair and devastating to Enrique to have to find out that he isn't the biological father of Selena.  It's even more unfair for that poor child and her sister to be put in that situation.  Maria is the culprit here, not anyone else.  If she was afraid to tell Enrique that he may not be the father she should have considered what she was doing to the child in concealing the biological father because of possible future health issues, both physical and mental.  Maria has not been a very nice person.  She may love her daughters but she sure is selfish.  Certainly Enrique made a mistake by telling Selena the way he did (but being in shock is not an excuse)  It's time to help Enrique and Selena mend their relationship IF it's possible.

She shames all of us women by suing Enrique for child support.  Many women take their exes to the cleaners, and the courts allow it to happen.   Gloria Allred is not helping the situation,  she should mind her own business and help those that need help, not those that are greedy.  Maria has a husband. Why is she after Enrique to pay up?  She sure has nerve!!!

Maria, stand up and tell Selena who the real father is and let that poor guy know he has a child.

You have got to be kidding me that women has every right to be involved I to am the wife of a paternity fraud victim and you have no clue the effect it puts on a marriage.  These women use child support as a form of punishment how does that benifit a child?. My husband pays the maxium amount of child support to a women who has never worked a day in her life and our child his biological child is left without financial support from her biological father how is that FAIR?????????

I'm apalled that Gloria Allred seems to think that fraudulant behavior by cheating mothers can be legally condoned!  The fact that she backed up her claim by saying the father shouldn't have told the child the truth in the way that he did does nothing to prove her point. 

After finding out he is not the biological father eleven years later, he only has a moral responsibilty, not a legal one, to his child.  He hurt the child yes, which he should not have done, but when you step in his shoes, he was hurt, betrayed and angry and probably wasn't thinking straight when he told the child.  The mother needs to find the biological father and get child support from him.  I hope that this mother's childish and selfish behavior does not scar her child for life.  What a great person this man is to fight for other men who are being cheated both by these lying women, as well as our hurting justice system.

Yes, I agree that the child should be taken care of first, but the ramifications of allowing a mother who commits fraud and evil like this to roam free should be dealt with as well. I'm not a christian, but I know of no better word to describe what the mother did and what Allred seems to promote. By allowing and promoting fraud and evil, what example are we giving our children? It's disgusting. I have until now respected and admired Dr. Phil's balanced perspectives, but by promoting Allred... I don't know, that was bad.