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Topic : 12/25 Parent Trap

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Created on : Friday, October 26, 2007, 02:49:00 pm

Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 10/29/07) Fraud. lies. conspiracy. They may sound like the latest Washington scandal, but these are allegations of exes at war over child support. Dr. Phil's guests claim they became victims of the perfect crime when they were led to believe they fathered a child that was not biologically their own and were forced to pay. First up, Enrique says he was shocked and angered to discover he was not the father of his youngest daughter, Selina, and that she was conceived during his ex-wife, Maria's, adulterous affair. Maria says he raised Selina but then abandoned her to save money. Why does Maria say Enrique's current wife is to blame for the fractured relationship? Next, 13-year-old Selina speaks one on one with Dr. Phil. Will she decide to let the man she once called Daddy back in her life? Then, Carnell Smith, who uses the online moniker, "Man4Justice," suffered a similar fate to Enrique, and but he fought and won. He says he's tired of seeing women trap men and get away with it. A heated debate ensues between him and feminist attorney, Gloria Allred, who argues that men like Enrique should continue to act as the father ... and continue paying! Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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trisha_b

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October 29, 2007, 4:39 pm PDT

10/29 Parent Trap

Quote From: pcbeachlvr

HE HAD 9-10 YEARS OF BEAUTIFUL, HAPPY, AND LOVING MOMENTS WITH SELINA WHERE SHE ADORED HIM AND HE ENJOYED THAT TO THE FULLEST. LIKE SELINA SAID, SHE THOUGHT SHE WAS JUST LIKE HIM, EXCEPT SHE DIDN'T LOOK SO MUCH LIKE HIM. THEY HAD A CLOSE BOND AND WERE BOTH VERY HAPPY. PARENTS DIVORCE AND SELINA FEELS THE SAME UNTIL WICKED STEP MOTHER LOOKS AT HER AND SAYS "AH HAH, ENRIQUE, SHE DOESN'T LOOK SO MUCH LIKE YOU!! I THINK YOU SHOULD HAVE DNA TEST AND SEE WHAT'S UP!" AND INSTEAD OF HIM SAYING, "THAT IS MY DAUGHTER NO MATTER WHAT!" SPINELESS ENRIQUE DOES WHAT MIA TELLS HIM PROBABLY TO HAVE SOMETHING TO HOLD OVER MARIA'S HEAD, AND THEN ABSOLUTELY DESTROYS POOR LITTLE SELINA LIKE A LITTLE RAG DOLL. BESIDES IF ENRIQUE LISTENS SO MUCH TO HIS NEW BELOVED MIA, WHY DID SHE NOT INSTRUCT HIM AND BETTER GUIDE HIM IN THE WAY HE BROKE THE NEWS TO SELINA AND THEN THE WAY HE CUT HER OUT OF HIS LIFE???? WASN'T SHE SMART ENOUGH AND SENSITIVE ENOUGH TO REMEMBER HOW A 10 YEAR OLD GIRL WOULD FEEL FOR THE ONLY FATHER SHE HAS EVER KNOWN TO JUST TURN HIS BACK ON HER ONE DAY OUT OF NO WHERE B/C OF A PIECE OF PAPER AND SOME CASH???? DON'T TELL ME THE NEW WIFE WASN'T BEHIND THIS. THE FAMILY UNIT WAS IN TACT UNTIL SHE SHREDDED IT, EVEN IF IT WAS BUILT ON MISINFORMATION. MIA STRICTLY WANTED THE MONEY AND ENRIQUE WAS A WUSS!!!! HE DESERVES ANY HEARTACHE HE MIGHT POSSIBLY FEEL OVER THE FACT THAT SELINA NOR HER OLDER SISTER NOW WISH TO HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH HIM. HOW DARE YOU PUT A PRICE ON YOUR LOVE FOR A CHILD AND TREAT THEM LIKE A COMMODITY!!!

Spineless - Wow!

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johnandtimsmom

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October 29, 2007, 4:39 pm PDT

Grow Up People!

Maybe the law requires men to pay child support at such times, but it still isn't right. I woudn't accept child support under those circumstances. Enrique, whether or not Chris adopts the girl is none of your business. Clearly you don't want to be her father SO BUTT OUT. Shame on you for breaking that little girl's heart. Maria, SHAME ON YOU FOR CAUSING ALL THIS DRAMA! You owe your daughters and Enrique big time for your lack of character.

Carnell - I think your crusade is a just one and I wish you much success! Unfair laws need to be challengd and changed no matter what they are. Objecively speaking, paying support for another man's child without DNA was foolish. Something happened to cause you to break up didn't it? Why would you start paying with no verification? Come on, man.

Everyone calls for lawsuits and fraud charges.(Fraud is hard to prove since MAKING A MISTAKE DOES NOT PROVE CRIMINAL INTENT!) HOW ABOUT USING THE COMMON SENSE GOD GAVE YOU?!?

Set a good example for your children and GROW UP people!

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colliechick

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October 29, 2007, 4:39 pm PDT

10/29 Parent Trap

Quote From: pjnorman

I understand that the mom shouldn't have kept this secret. But come on this is all because the new wife doesn;t want to pay child support. Two wrongs don't make a right and the way he dumped that child was uncalled for. Once again Dr. Phil has let someone stick their nose in where4 they don't belong and the new wife should butt out

All because the new wife doesn't want to pay child support??? WHAT?!! and why should she?? and his current wife has every right to say something. There wouldn't be ANY problem if the cheating wife and any other female is HONEST to begin with. Just because you may not like the biological father, doesn't give you a right to trap some nice guy for your benefit.

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patriciaviewer

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October 29, 2007, 4:39 pm PDT

are you serious?

Quote From: philshowfanwv

On the show i did not hear the words if you did not want the responsibility of a child you knew how to protect yourself. So that being said if he wasn't wanting a child or one claimed as his to pay support he should have worn protection and he wouldn't be in this mess in the first place it isn't just her fault yes she lied but he also had the right to be an adult and protect him self if he didn't want this mess.

I'm sure he wanted a child that came from a committed relationship with his WIFE? At what point does a man in a marriage have to feel the need to protect himself from his own wife or suffer the consequences? You are really out to lunch on this one. Sure if you pick up someone in a bar you may have a point, but people get married often with the intention of having children with their spouces. Get a grip on reality or are you the kind of person who would choose to lie to the man you married and promised to be faithful to then profit from a similar fraud?

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frillyfroo

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October 29, 2007, 4:40 pm PDT

Love Gloria Allread!

Gloria, so nice to see you on the show.

The new wife seems over-involved. If I were her, I'd go get my hair and nails done and let them resolve it themselves. I don't think she wants the girl around.

Dr. Phil and Gloria are right. Everyone should be putting this girl first even though it's a mess. They are the adults and she is a child so hope all you grownups do your job and make this girl feel special.

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vistana1

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October 29, 2007, 4:40 pm PDT

10/29 Parent Trap

Quote From: luvn8s

I can sypathize with this young girl. My son is 14 and he was told by his non-biological father just recently that he wasn't his dad. He knew he wasn't the bio dad but didn't care he in his words wanted to raise "our" son as his own. The reason behind his selfish outburst of truth after 14 yrs....... CHILD SUPPORT. We were going to court the following week and he told the judge he didn't want to pay child support because "joe" wasn't his. He knew for 14 years and because he is an idiot he ruined this boys life. My son is bi-polor and has mental health issues the way it is and to add this to his mental state was selfish and unbelievably assanine. Enrique didn't put this child first. Didn't care about this little girl one bit only getting back at the mother. When are parents going to understand that hurting our children to get back at the other parent isn't a very smart choice. My ex cut all visitation with my son and even though supervised visitation orders are in affect he refuses to participate. My son blames me even though his non bio dad and I agreed that when the time was right we would tell "joe" together. He told him to hurt me and did as I hurt for and with my son. Enrique doesn't deserve to be a part of this amazing young girls life and he has no right to tell Chris he shouldn' t adopt her. Go for it. I just have one question? Did Enrique's family also cut all their ties to the girl? If so, adopt away she deserves a loving father in her life.

I am sorry for your pain but you knew you were going through a divorce. Rarely are divorces civil and thus you should have anticipated this move. If you left your husband then in the back of your mind you should have recognized his pain and thus his possible revenge. You knew there was something about him that you could not tolerate... hence the reason for the divirce. However, if he left you then hopefully, you knew he was capable of hurting you deeply.

Whatever the case, it did not justify his actions; but, people are not always rationale when they are in pain.

Get your son help.

Hopefully, people will start telling children about their heritage when they are younger and it's easier to accept as just "a matter of fact" There are many books on the topic and with your child being bi-polar surely he was seeing a doctor of some sort.

good luck.

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johninseattle

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October 29, 2007, 4:40 pm PDT

What a mess

Maria is a cheat and a thief. She clearly enjoyed what she has done and her body language, grinning and mugging, demonstrate she is proud of getting away with her fraud. Shame on her. She should go to jail.

Enrique fouled up badly. Selina is a victim of her mother’s crimes, and Enrique should have realized the damage that was going to be done when she learned the truth and the damage that was going to be caused by his abandoning her. He punished her for the crimes of Maria. Same on him, too. However, Gloria Allred was way over the line the way she took off on him. She obviously rehearsed her tirade. Shame on her, too.

That our legal system would continue a fraudulent child support order is incomprehensible. Shame on our legal system. Kudos for Carnell Smith for fighting this injustice. Seems like Enrique should be allowed to sue Maria for theft. Seems like she should be prosecuted. She cannot use the argument that she took the money for her child. If a bank robber used that excuse, she would go to jail anyway. This case is no different.

Here is the problem that seems to defy solution: should Enrique have to continue payments after having bonded with the child? We need some help from Solomon on that one. Clearly, if this fraud had been discovered at the beginning, there would be no child support. But since he has been defrauded for so many years, it seems the argument from Maria, Allred, and Phil is that Enrique should just grin and bear it.

A warning to Maria’s new husband (or are they married yet??) Does he really want to be involved with this woman? Not exactly a good track record.

Dr. Phil’s advice to Selina was right on: the adults do make a mess of it sometimes. She seems like a good kid, and a smart kid, who did nothing wrong. She needs to grow up enough to understand the dynamics of this situation, and she seems mature enough to do that. She needs to forgive Enrique, and Enrique needs act like this girl’s father while there is still a chance to rebuild her sense of self worth and esteem. If not, she is going to have relationship problems for the rest of her life. For her sake, they both need counseling to get past this.

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kimcasey1

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October 29, 2007, 4:42 pm PDT

Today's Show Parent Trap

There was only one person at fault here and that was the mother. She slept with someone else, she knew the child could be someone else's, she made no effort to admit this to her husband at-the-time, she lied to everyone. If it wasn't solely about the the money the mother was getting for child support, she should have talked to the daughter and told her that her "father" was a wonderful dad, had been there for her throughout her life, he did nothing wrong and she would no longer ask for child support from him but would hope that she (her daughter) and father could stay close and she would support that. She should also have told her daughter that it was solely her fault, she lied and although she could not fix what she had done she would help her daughter in whatever way she needed her (i.e. find her biological father, maintain the relationship with the man the was her father for all her life, counseling, etc.) and finally she should apologize to this man that DID NOTHING WRONG but be there for her daughter and stop all court actions and required child support from him.

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manningdianne

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October 29, 2007, 4:42 pm PDT

Mom should have considered her child

If I could have reached through the screen & smacked the mom when she said "Yes" to Dr. Phil's question, "Should the man be required to pay child suppord when the child is not his?", I would have. When ex-hubby found out, she should have said "Just keep seeing the child & no child support will be requested."

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peachcobbler

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October 29, 2007, 4:42 pm PDT

the right thing to do

I understand how a man can feel hurt and betrayed when finding out his spouse has been unfaithful, however, it is not right for him to take out his anger and frustration on the child. He has been in her life since birth and should have established a bond and genuine love for her. Should he be legally financially responsible? I say no. Morally responsable, absolutely. There should be allowances to change or ammend a birth certificate to show the biological fathers name and HE should be held financially responsible. Taking it out on the child is just wrong, wrong, wrong. There are situations which should not be shared with a child and this is one of them.

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