Topic : 12/25 Parent Trap

SOLUTION:

A) I think it that a DNA test should be included in the birth fee package so that the test is AUTOMATICALLY done at birth.

B) The same applies to a child support claim. All claims MUST have a DNA result attached to make it a complete claim. ( The man is obligated to comply)

These are my reasons:

1)This way no 'Parent Trap' can be set, which is a huge problem in the United States!!
2) When someone is in love they dont think about questioning if the baby is theirs or not. Then several years down the line it shouldnt be used against them. (why they didn't have a DNA test done before)
3) I can imagine that it is offensive for a woman to hear that her man wants a DNA test done especially if they are deeply in love. This solution will avoid this, besides I stongly believe that if anyone is innocent then they have nothing to hide.
4) This solution will allow parents to make critical decisions from at the beginning, while the child is still at baby.

5) Overall the DNA test at birth will just will just start things on the right note, not cards unturned.

Dr Phil and others please respond !

I can't believe that Maria, the mother on today's show, sat in her chair, smiling and nodding like she isn't the ENTIRE reason that her little girl got her life ripped out from under her.  Yes, Enrique messed up and made a bad decision, but the Maria created that entire situation.  I can't imagine the awful things she must tell that child about how it's his fault and probably has never once said, "I'm sorry I lied and created this awful mess that has hurt everyone in my life."  Mothers who lie on birth certificates should face charges.  That is an awful thing to do.  I agree, "if the genes don't fit you must acquit."

I was seeing two guy's after my divorce. I got pregant and was going to have an abortion because I didn't know who the father was. I was embaressed and ashamed that I put myself in that position. My life as a single mother was complicated enough because my ex-husband married a woman who couldn't handle the relationship I had with him. When we spilt we made a promise to each other that the children would not suffer because of our divorce. We both agreed to pick people that could handle us getting along so the two girl's I had would not suffer. We had agreed that because we had girls that the girls would live with me and he would pay a certain amount of child support a week. I would never change this amount and we would both hook up with people that understood that we were going to get along for the children's sake. My ex-husband married right away and married a woman with children. He took on her debts that he didn't know she had. This woman was also jealous of the relationship that my ex-husband had with me and my children. Long story short my ex-husband complained about the support he was paying because he now had new responsibilities and he couldn't handle all of it. I was stuck with anything extra that my girl's needed for school and collage. They were both in sports and I paid for their camps and everything else they needed. I couldn't settle down with just one guy because I was too stressed out with dealing with my ex and his new wife. What I do know from this is that the new wives expect their husbands to be fully commited to them and their family and the hell with the children that were there first. Is it the child's fault  that her mother kept a secret or maybe didn't know for sure that her husband was the real father? The child was brought up thinking that was her father and that is who she grew up thinking was daddy. He played the part in this childs eyes and he needs to continue that responsibility!!! It wasn't until he left the marriage and the child that he took a DNA test. That speaks volums to me. I had two boyfriends which is a story in itself. I ended up having my child because I couldn't go through an abortion. These two guy's put me through pure hell while I was pregnant because I told them the truth. I went into labor while I was six months pregnant because of the stress. Both guys were at the hospital when she was born. We had all agreed to do a DNA test after she was born. I allowed the guy that I thought was the father in the delivery room. Because I did this he thought he was in control and told me that the other guy had to leave. I said, "no" thats not what we agreed on. He left when she was a week old and never came to see her until she was a year old. The other guy stuck around and helped me take care of her. Long story short when she was a year and a half I told the guy that left that I was no longer going to wonder who her father was and that I was putting the guy that stuck around name on the birth certificate. I told him to eather call me back or meet me at the court house if he didn't want this happening. He did neither. Once he found out that I did in fact put the other guy's name on the birth certificate, thats when the court battle began. It turned out he was the father as expected. Our child was three years old by the time we went to court and in her eyes the other guy was her father not the one that was proven to be her father. He got parenting rights because he fought for them because it was now a game to him. He won't pay support because the child still has the other man's last name and I ended up marrying him for my child's sake. It's no win situation and one day I will write a book on my experience with all this. A dead beat dad is hand carved from his childhood. These are the same people that will take on a dog for a pet and kick them out the door the next. This child was treated as an animal with this father and I am happy that the mother found someone who could be a real dad to her. As for the other wife; she needs to shut up and worry about her own life with this cold man. There has to be some insecurity on her part or she would have kept her nose out of it!!! Woman do have the upper hand and I found that out the hard way. I've been living in quilt since the day my daughter was born. I married the guy who was her father since day one and am now paying the price for that. God has a plan for you and we all have to learn from our mistakes. Anyway you look at it, you don't make the children suffer. Been there and done that.

  

    I would just like to say that the mother in this case should have come forward right at the beginning.  How can it be left up to the father to find out whether the child is his or not.  If every husband went around accusing their spouses of cheating it would make it very hard for anyone to trust anybody.  A father should not have to question whether he is the true father or not.  I believe in this case that the father should have still been there emotionally for the daughter and the informing the daughter of her paternity should have been the responsibility of both parent.  They should have sat down together and told her.. I don't think it was right of the father to tell her in the way that he did. 

 

  I wonder if the real father has been contacted by the mother.  Does she even know whether he would look after his obligation or not?  We should not fault the true father either for not paying child support if he doesn't even know that the child exists.  Maybe Dr. Phil should contact him and have a chat with the real father and see how he feels.  Maybe the mother should be confronted by him.   Gloria Allred should go after the fathers that are not paying the child support that they should be.  But then again don't forget that there are mothers that are suppose to pay child support and are not.  Hopefully  the young girl n this case will be able to have a relationship of some kind with the former father as well as the gentleman who would like to adopt both girls now.  Good luck to them all.

 I'm sorry I don't mean to be disrespectful you or any other child in this situation however, what she did was not out of love for her child!! 

Wow what a show!

Enrique trusted his wife, he had total faith in his marriage and the vows he swore to before God. There is no way he saw this coming! His wife commited the ultimate robbery, what can be stolen from you more valuable than your own flesh and blood, your child?

Though Selina was raised as his daughter and he was her father figure, all of this would have never happened had his wife not lied about it. His wife is the total cause of this mess period! She knowingly and willingly deceived Enrique through lies to him because the results of her unfaithfulness to him got her pregnant with someone elses child.

I think Enrique didn't handle things correctly in the way he told his daughter, but his daughter surely appears old enough now, at least from listening to her interview, that she should realize that her mother is the cause of all of this, that all the pain and suffering Selina is enduring would never have happened had Enrique not been lied to in the first place by the wife he trusted.

I feel sorry for them all, but the one I feel least sorry for is Enrique's ex wife. Why isn't Selina angry with her for causing all of this?

Gloria Allred made herself look stupid with nonsensical rebuttal of what she called facts that made no sense at all. I think she went through the Nancy Grace School of "I Want Attention!"

On the other hand, Carnell Smith was dead on with his facts and made more sense that Gloria Allred ever hoped or dreamed of making in all her life. Good job Carnell!

My heart goes out to Selina though, if she can figure out any one thing in the world I hope it's that when a man finds out he's been lied to in the way her mother lied Enrique, that nothing else in the world can make a woman look more dirty to them than that!

I think Enrique reacted the only way he knew how, he reacted with grief and pain because the most precious thing he believed that life and God had ever given him turned out to not really be his after all! I can't even imagine how I'd have reacted had that happened to me, it would have rocked my world worse than anything I could imagine!

SnowCajun

Uhm. . . .excuse me, but the little girl's MOTHER was the one who caused all the pain here, NOT Enrique's new wife! In fact, I think she did the right thing. She saw through all the bullcrap and deceit and pointed her husband to the truth. She's a strong woman and a real wife who stood by her husband, not some naive, passive little ornament or showpiece of a wife.

 

Furthermore, how could you sit there and say BOTH parents are to blame for an affair that THE MOTHER had and for the deceit and pain that SHE inflicted both on her ex husband and  her child? That doesn't even make sense.