Topic : 12/25 Parent Trap

I only caught a bit of the show today, however I gained a very strong opinion, very quickly. I see this as an almost *no win* situation for the men involved.

A man is criticized if he questions the woman's 'virtue' and one can just imagine hearing "And junior, your daddy questioned me and actually made me have a DNA test done with you." So one can see why a man might be hesitant to automatically request a DNA test. Also, one has to be aware of the potential impact such a request would have on the trust in the relationship, moving forward.

On the other hand, if the guy (at any point in time) decides he'd like to know *for sure* and finds out he is not the biological father, now he is ridiculed and ostracized for shirking his duties as the parent he has been or is singled out for being angry about the situation. I, for one, would be more than angry at the fraud which had been perpetrated against me.

And if he finds out he is the father...now he has to deal with the fact that he doubted paternity, etc.

Again...a no win situation.

Frankly, I think DNA should be SOP for all births when the father is assigned. That will prevent this from ever being an issue. That is the FAIR thing to do....

I feel sorry for the Child and the father in this situatuion.  The mother should have to take full resposability for her actions with the child and the father.  Selena is an innocent child and her father could have reacted differently, but you are asking alot of a man that  has been decieved. 

 And I can see the remorse in his heart when he says he regrets the actions that he took, and the mother has none.  The mother continues to get child support, she feels she has won.

Hopefully, in the future the father and the child can get back the part of their lives that this woman has destoyed with her lies.

I believe that even though the DNA results said

that he wasnt the father he should've still been

there for the girl that he has raised since birth.

If he really loves her like he says he does then

why would he even want a DNA test?

This whole topic makes me so mad.  And Maria really pissed me off!  The woman that perpetrate these lies and ruin lives deserve the most blame.  Enrique should have handled the disclosure and fallout in a better way, but Maria deserves the brunt of the blame.  She KNEW all along that her secret might come out and when it did she blamed him for not "knowing" that his own wife was unfaithful.  PLEASE!  She needs to stand up and be a woman and stop making excuses. 

Men who knowingly accept a child that isn't theirs then he should be held responsible.  IF he finds out later that deception was used and fraud committed he should not be financially responsible.  BUT we must always keep in mind the children involved.  IT ISN"T THEIR FAULT and the flalout should be made as minimal as possible. 

Unfortunately, when you lie and build lives based on that lie, people get hurt.  I wish more women would consider this when they are uncertain who the father may be of their child.  It is better to deal with the situation before hearts, lives and entire families are involved. 

I pray that Selena and Enrique are able to get back to some sort of relationship.  They both need that.  She will forever be changed by the loss of her "father" and her mother should carry the blame for the pain she has caused.  I wondered about all the other family members involved.  I will pray for this family tonight and others like it. 

Personally, I had a friend that never questioned that his son was his.  His family did and the mother assured them there was no one else.  My friend was a hardworking, college educated man.  He and the mother weren't together but he paid support and had the child every weekend.  This was his parents first granchild and he was spoiled.  After 7 years my friend needed to make a move to the next state over and assured the mother that he would continue frequent visitation and support as usual.  She objected to him moving and abruptly told him the boy wasn't his.  From that point on, he wasn't allowed to explain things to the boy and his family wasn't allowed contact with child.  To me, this mother was a terrible mother only looking for someone to pay for her mistakes.  It seems the biological father neither wanted the child or the child support payments.  So she pinned on the first honarable man she thougth she could get away with it.  In the process she ruined many lives. 

I am a feminist.  But these women make me wish I was a man.  Be smart before you spread your legs. 

The mother lied to the Dad and the child.  Naturally when he found out he got upset wouldn't you?  He regrets his initial reaction and wants to make amends.  The child seems cautious but interested in seeing him again.  So, the only one making no improvements is the mother.  She should accept full responsibility for this mess.

I believe she should pay fully for the child until she contacts her next victim-the true father and tells him what a beautiful, well spoken child he's missed out on. 

How sad that Mia felt so out of control that she had to bring this up to Enrique and keeps insisting that Maria be "sorry" for her "wrong".  Mia is the root of the difficulties because she just couldn't accept paying child support to Enrique's children.  Mia knew these children existed prior to her marriage to Enrique but apparently is so jealous of Enrique that she is taking advantage of a sad reality.  So what that Enrique is paying child support for Selina.  He SHOULD!  He accepted this child and at some level he probably knew that she might not be his but never questioned it until some money had to go out of his pocket.  Mia needs some serious counseling to work through her anger and jealousy and Enrique needs to stop this woman from destorying whats left of his life.  He needs to be the one to step up and say, I love this child and will do what is right by her even if she isn't mine.