Topic : 12/25 Parent Trap

Enrique's story broke my heart.  Too many girls/women put the paternity of a child on the best suited.  I tease my son that when a woman ever states he is the father of a child - I will demand DNA testing -  I don't trust most women and the man has no way of knowing for sure other than DNA.  How dare women play with a mans heart and emotions this way, least alone the poor, innocent, childs. 

The child should not suffer, but nor should Enrique be financially responsible, I feel Maria needs to pay Enrique back all child support he's paid to date - if he chooses to put that money aside toward college for Selina - fantastic. 

I find it heartbreaking that children will suffer for a parents sins.  How did Maria live with herself all those years with this lie - both to her husband and her child. She went through the show so self-righteous, it angered me.  Her comment about Enrique supporting her for the first 10 years of her life - HE DIDN"T KNOW HE WASN'T HER FATHER - and even so, I supported my sister when she was having rough times and came to live with me - because I took on that responsiblity does not make me forever financially responsible for her.  It's one thing to raise and love a child knowing you are not the biological parent - but to be decieved is another story.

Selina - my heart goes out to you -  DNA does not make a dad - and as hurtful as your father's actions were to you - in your heart he's still your dad.  Work on making peace with him, let him understand you, and try to understand what he went through.  Sadly, far too many don't realize what they had, until it truly is too late.  Life is far too short not to embrace the opportunities we have.

Women - don't deceive  - if there's the slightest possibility - get a DNA test done - it's a simple proceedure - DO NOT wait until the child is 10 - that is so unfair to all involved.  It is far less costly than the pain you can cause later on.  People need to take responsibility - if you're grown up enough to lay down - be grown up enough to be responsible and do the right thing.  You're the grown-ups - the child you created should be FIRST and FOREMOST in all you do, that does not include decieving another.

By the way - I missed where the childs' biological father is - sadly too - he may have wanted her in his life and was never afforded the opportunity.

With the grace of God - Selena can end up with 3 fantastic fathers --- she's a beautiful young lady with a warm heart despite all else. 

I am a mother of 4.  3 from 1 husband and 1 from another husband.  Both support their children.  I would never deceive a man that was not the father of my child.  The only guilty one in this situation is Maria!!!  Enrique may have approach the situation the wrong way, but he was as much a victim as Mia.  Enrique should have been given the opportunity to create a bond with Mia with the truth on the table before she was born.  He looks like he would have been a stand up guy back when she was pregnant.  And as for that woman lawyer, the only thing she got right was that Enrique should have contacted you and had the emotional well being of Mia first on his agenda.  As for thinking that he is financially responsible, well, I can't say what kind of stupid I think she is!!!!!  I hope that Mia forgives Enrique and calls her mother out for the liar she is.

What if they were still married and he found out his wife had been unfaithful and his daughter was not his own. What would he do, would he have reacted the same way? If you are legally married to someone and they have a child you would expect it was yours, how does that change when after 12 years you find out they are not. They are still your chid, you molded, nurtured and loved them and had all the benefits of the biological parent. They are yours, like an adopted child. If parents of an adopted child divorce is there not child support paid by someone? It seems to me in this case the new wife has more of a problem than her husband. She wants to place blame and this story has more than one side and there is plenty of blame to go around. The problem is not who is responsible but how do they move forward in a positive way with all parties taking responsibility for making mistakes and learning from them. He was wrong to just turn off the switch on the child. How can you turn on and off love. If he had a problem dealing with his feelings he should have sought out counseling and advice before he took action. Like they say write it down and put the letter away, bring it out a later, read the letter and if you still feel the same then act. I can in many ways understand how the mother did what she did, it was not honest but, how many of us faced with the same situation would have done the same. It was a no win situation for her. She had children to raise and wanted her children to be raised the same way with the same parents. Had they not divorced would he have ever known? Would it had made a difference to him 40 years from now? Many people never get the chance to be parents, and many would be happy to raise any child theirs or not. I feel sorry for the young girl because now her father has made sure that she is aware that she is different from her sister, left her wondering about her biological dad, and placed a divide between her mother and himself.

 

As a woman and I think a fair minded person, I don't believe that a man should have to pay child

support for a child that is not his.  The mother should go after the biological father for child support.

This man was good enough to support this woman and her daughter for many years and he has paid

his dues which he didn't have to do.

 

I believe that if the mother loves her child she should allow visiting privileges for the unbiological  father without demanding child support. If all she thinks about is money then she doesn't really care about that child.  This woman was a liar and a cheat and should have told the husband about this child before she was born. Having said that,  I feel sorry for the child but really don't know any other way this man could have handled the situation in telling his daughter the truth. I feel the child will eventually realize that her mother was solely to blame and created this monster and hopefully she will try to understand and give him another chance to be her friend as he is not her father and should not pretend to be. 

 

I think both the mother and daughter are wrong in blaming the father for this problem.  Am happy to hear that one of the fathers has been able to get a bill through in his state to correct this situation and hope that other countries can eventually adopt these same laws.

When I saw this show I was really surprised.  Why aren't parents accountable for their actions.  The mother should have never lied, but to make the father paid for their daughter is unbelievable.  I used to respect Gloria Allred until I saw this show.  She sounded like an idiot when she was yelling at the father.  Be professional women!!  Gloria thinking is why this country is headed in the wrong direction.  I have watched Dr. Phil for 4 years and when Gloria was talking it made me sick.  This was the first time I had to turn off the show. 

Although I agree that the father should not have walked out on her...and handeled this in another manner... you need to understand that this can cost someone over $1000 a month in child support...plus a lot more other expenses...this woman has committed fraud not to the father...but to her CHILD!!!

Where is the ownership on behalf of the mother.  I am surprised you (Dr. Phil) didn't speak about that.  Your show is about personal responsibility, integrity, morals and values.  These mothers are rewarded for lying.  What are they teaching their children about atoning for their own actions.  Indeed, the children need fathers, personally I would want to know if my father was tricked and it caused the dissension of my parents relationship.  Being a new mother I was asked to take a paternity test.  Yes it sucked, ROYALLY!!! However, if 1 in 3 men are being lied to I understand the motivation behind the uncertainty.  When my child is old enough hopefully she will be in a sturdy relationship. But you, Dr. Phil know first hand that marriages and relationships just aren't what they used to be.  Being a man with any sort of personal wealth, I see the need for the questions, not all people are as honest as the rest!!!  It is a shame for that litlle girl, but the mother is the one who should pay the price, not the father nor the child.

ummm excuse me...the money is more likely 10,000 per month dear....that child is worth alot of manicures to the ex wife.....she might even have to get herself a job now!!!  maybe i should get your husband to pay for my child...uh....what would you say then...poor child....or honey how will we pay OUR bills?

I think that he should have a relationship with the girl that he raised for 10 years, but I don't think he should pay child support. The mom should be charged with something, or should have to pay restitution for the mess she caused. She wanted the money and I think it would be perfect for her to pay him back for ten years of whatever she wanted from him. I agreed with everything Mr. smith was saying. and a lot of you have good views on this subject.