Topic : 12/25 Parent Trap

We know that there are probably two children that are not our blood relatives but they have been purported to be by the mother prior to and during a brief miserable marriage.  Do we exempt them from inheritance?  During the divorce, the father wanted to have DNA testing performed but on top of threats denying visitation if it was done, it never happened.  We have read about sociopaths and the behavior relates to this woman.  Should our son support these children for life?  There is zero family resemblance.

Being a paternity fraud victim myself, I made some bad decisions while going through the divorce, I found out during the divorce procedure. In addition, even after DNA proved I was not the father, I was ordered to pay child support.

 

In my case the mother moved in with the biological father, and what made matters worse was she later abandoned the child with him, even though he was legally only a live in boy friend I was ordered to pay him child support for his own child. I had no visitation rights to the child being they were terminated in the judgment of divorce WRONGFULLY and I had not seen this child in 15 years and found out later the courts were actually sending my payments directly to him.

I am the new wife of a good-hearted and gullible man, who was also mislead and downright lied to by his exwife. When I met my husband he told me that he and his wife had been separated and got back together and she told him she was pregnant. He questioned her about the paternity of the baby and she swore to him it was his. They had sexual relations during their separation. When the child was three years old and they divorced my husband although not sure still continued to act as a father, even though people in the small community told him the mother had told them he was not the father. These people told him he should not be paying child support for this child. HIs thought is, if she doesn't have him in her life, where will she end up? The mother has never admitted to him that the child is not his and the child is now 14 years old. It IS a bitter pill to be the other wife, helping to support some other man's child, but I don't think I would have the respect I have for my husband if he turned his back on this child. We believe that the mother will tell the child when she turns 18 that my husband is not her father (when her use of him for financial purposes is done), as a means to hurt him, not caring what it does to the child. When that day comes, the child would undoubtedly have to have more respect for my husband than for her mother. The worst part is just not knowing for sure. But, knowing would only hurt the child.

i understand exactly this woman lied to her husband and lied to her children then she wants to sit here on stage and act like it is all his fault i think as a mother that she should show more respect for herself she portrayed herself as a money grubbing witch my lord she LIED PEOPLE to him and made him think this child was his. I know the way he told the little girl was wrong but Dr. Phil should have relayed to that little girl that she needed to focus her anger at her lieing mother. That poor man lied to like that what a scum of a woman to be able to laugh about something like that and then have the nerve to blame him for everything sorry hunny that woman should pay him back. And her poor little girls when they realize later in life what their mother really did it will back fire on her. this just makes me sick to my stomach i am ashamed to be a woman right know this lady is SICK!

Dr. Phil,

 

I just finished watching your show about the legalities (i.e. financial obligations) of non-biological fathers for children they thought were theirs and raised as such.  While I agree with the financial injustices they suffured as the legal providers because of the biological mothers lies, I wondered why these parents (both mom and "dad") could not see past what they were doing to these innocent children?  How sad the well-being of these children has a dollar sign attached.  Maybe you should start a "help pay child support foundation so kids don't feel like a financial burden" foundation...as a mother of three, I will gladly contribute.

 

Sandy

Yes the mom was a lying cheat.  However I really think that her Dad, (or the man who for 10 years was her Dad) was wrong when he listened to his current wife and cut ties with her Selena.  She as a result could have major trust and abandonment issues with men and boys the rest of her life.  Dads are supposed to date their daughters and love them and treat them with respect and protection because that is how young ladies learn how to look for a husband some day.

 

all around i was saddened by this.  2 wrongs do not make a right. 

Dr. Phil,

 

I was surprised that you did not blast mama Maria.  Not only did she LIE to Enrique years ago, she has lied to her daughter(s) too.  She indeed caused "most" of this mess and the fact that she sat there on tv smiling, sickened me.  We have ALL made mistakes, BIG mistakes in our lives.  I can't understand what in the world she could find to smile about at a time like this.  Selina is in a lot of pain-pain initially caused by her mother. 

Enrique should not have to continue to pay child support and I feel that Maria should be paying him back for 50% of what he has paid already while living in this lie.  I bet that will make a lot of women think twice before they try something like this too!

My first husband was a dead beat dad.  He never paid an ounce of child support nor spent any real time with his sons.  I never went after him for it.  The paperwork and bureacracy was tiresome and I had a 5yr old and 4 month old to take care of.  He knew they were his and if he ever questioned it....he could have had a paternity test. My 2nd husband raised my sons emotially, financially, spiritually etc..  When we split, only my youngest was still home at 14.  It would have never entered my mind that since he has been with him for almost 10 years, he (the step-father) should pay child support.  That is what Gloria is basically saying; it may not be yours, but since you've been around for so long, you may as well continue paying for the child.  

Maria,  needs a kick in the butt and to stop feeding Selina with her negative thoughts  against "her father".  Selina's statements sound like an embittered old woman-Maria. My mother told me once when I divorced from the boys bio father to never say anything negative about him to them or in their presence.  That was difficult!  As they  got older and and he made attempts to come back into their lives, they found out for themselves what he was all about. 

 

Enrique you were pissed (& rightfully so) but you were wrong for handling Selena the way that you did and you deserve a quick kick in the butt for that.  HOWEVER, you have apologized and realized the error in the way you handled it and I hope and pray someday Selina will re-establish her relationship with you.  It's not about you and Maria anymore---it's about a young girl being torn between a bitter mother and a "father" who is repentant of his mistakes.

 

 

I can't believe that Selena's mother sat there with such a smog attitude with no remorse like she did nothing wrong. I am almost 100% sure she not only did she lie to her ex husband about him being the "biological" father, but she lied to her daughter. WHAT WAS SHE THINKING!!!  She is using her daughter as a pawn! What a shame.

 

What she should of done was that after she admitted it her husband, sat SHE should have sat down with Selena and tell her the truth. Tell her she had made a mistake and what she did was wrong. Instead of making Enrique look like the bad guy.  

 

Watching Selenas nother shows how she obviously drummed into Selena's head with how bad her "father" is because he doesn't want to pay child support. That is just disgusting! If she truly LOVED her daughter, she would do whatever it takes to make things right & stop demanding money from Enrique, when she was the lousy cheating disgusting wife that she was!

 

I don't believe that Enrique should be forced to pay child support! I do believe that he needs to spend time with his daughter and prove to her how truly sorry he is for what he did and how he handled himself. He should put the money he was paying for child support into a college fund for his daughter, take her on vacations, buy her things that she needs. But he should NOT be forced to give Selena's mother ANYTHING! She should be punished by the law!

 

I also think Ms. Aldred should go back to law school and learn to also be able to defend fathers. Fathers have a right too! They are not always wrong. Some women have to start behaving like mothers and stop using their children as if they were nothing. Then making it look like they have been victimized! The legal system has to be re-evaluated. I am so sick of hearing the stupidity that's out there!

 

In case you're wondering I am a mother too! I would NEVER & have NEVER done this to any of my kids! They are now grown and have moved on with their lives and are very happy individuals. We need to teach to strive for what they believe in and support them as parent.

 

I guess that's all I have to say.

This is exactly the letter I would have written.  I totally agree with everything that was said.  I do believe that Enrique is sorry for the way he told his daughter but think he was in such a quandry, he didn't know what to do at the time.  I don't agree with Enrique when he told Selena to get outld make up for what he has done.