Topic : 12/25 Parent Trap

it is easy to blame others isn't it? taking responsibility for ones own mistakes is golden really.

Hi Dr. Phil, my name is Adrianne and i was really touched and upset about the show today.  I believe that growing up no one is taught how to deal with life situations like these.  People react in different ways when faced with a life changing decision or dilema.  I totally believe that the ex wife (Selenas mother) is to blame for this whole ordeal excalating to where it has today, and today in your show i didnt see any remorse or feeling at all for her doing that.  she was simply just defensive towards the ex husband about why he should "HAVE" to pay child support but that was the extent of her feelings.   she knew from the very beginining that Selena may not have been his, and she should have informed him of that before he signed his name to the birth certificate.  now if he would have know for the start that he might not be her biological dad then he could have decieded if he wanted to raise her as his own or not.  but by her hiding it from him for her own benefit just shows her lack of character and her lack of consideration.  she was up on your stage today just shaking her head like she is the victim in all of this when in all reality she is the sole person to blame for hurting not only Selena, but her other daughter as well as her ex husband.  i believe that the way the ex husband went about telling Selena that he was not her biological dad was not the best way to do it, but i can understand what he might have been going through at that very moment in his life and just didnt have the best judgement to think this through.  He honestly thought that he was Selenas dad for 10 years and then he was basically shot down when he found out that he was mislead all this time.  not only did that hurt probably, but he was lied to by his spouse that he totally trusted up to this day in his life.  so for gloria allred to say that he must pay and that he is basically a coward for the way that he went about it, is wrong for her to say that because she doesnt know how she would have reacted to having this type of information sprung on her like it was on him.  i believe that he should have stepped up as a man and continued to be in Selenas life because in all reality he is her dad, but i dont think its fair that the courts make a person pay child support for some child that is not biologically his.  he was not aware of this in the beginining and now that he knows he should be given the chance to make up his own mind wether he wants to stick around for that child or not.  if he choses not to then the mom should go and find the guy she had an affair with and seek child support from him.  i dont see the fairness in this other guy (the biological dad) being left out there to get other women pregnant and never have to come to terms with the consequences of his actions.  so in the end i believe the ex wife should be held responsible for her actions and she shouldnt be able to cash out for her mistakes.  it seems that she is only in this for the money and she is not thinking of the well being of her children.  i believe that she is a poor excuse for a mother and that she is giving all of us hard working mothers and wifes out here a bad name.  Dr. Phil thank you for your insight on topics that are being dealt with dalily in our world. 

Your post is right on the money. This mother is a poor excuse for a person. She loves no one but herself. They should do a DNA on the other child as well. Her new husband should be aware once a cheater always a cheater.

So it's the mother's fault??? Mr. Dad has eyes so why wait until wife number two comes along to question his parenthood? Maybe step mom wants the money to stay home. You don't love and care for a child for ten years then say since I found out your not my daughter see ya!!!! Yes maybe mom was wrong in not telling but how much more Selina would be adjusted if she didn't have to be told by a trip to the park and then abandonment. I'm fifty nine and still in treatment for past experiences that were not my fault. Don't you think that Mom isn't taking responsibility ,she lives with her child and I'm sure when sister goes off to visit Dad that Mom is home comforting her daughter and realizing what she has done. Raising children is expensive and child support doesn't make a dent. Yes, Chris should adopt Selina and give her the father she needs for the rest of her life. My husband treated our daughter as his own and she knew she was loved. She was told when she was sixteen. She never asked about who her father was until she was in her twenties when she made the choice to find out. This didn't happen at such a tender age as Selina. Mr. Dad was only thinking of himself and maybe Mom was trying to let things slide to have things not turn out how they have.As far as step Mom She's totally at fault to butting in and hurting a beautiful young girl. Maybe for a little extra money in her pocket. I hope both girls continue to bond as sisters and have a loving family.

tuna10 i am curious as to why you keep blaming the  'new wife' ...is there something that hits home for you here?

I have never felt the need as much as today to comment on what happened on the show. I was absolutely shocked to find out that someone who is not the biological father of a child is stuck paying child support for a child who is not his. I do not what so ever think that Selina's father has done the right thing by cutting her out of his life, but why is there a statue of limitations from the time the child is born. I would be so hurt if my husband asked for a paternity test for one of our children but is that what men are going to have to do from the get go just to insure their money? I think if the man made a knowing decision to adopt the child or take on the responsibility knowing he is not the father should be held responsible. But just since a man trusts his wife and doesn't question the child he believes is his he should not be stuck paying support.

 

I think Gloria is nuts! Don't blame the men who were deceived on putting women on welfare! The mom should know who she cheated with and make him pay. There is alot of women who keep having baby's so they can get more money.  I think the whole system is very messed up and allows it to keep happening. I would much rather pay for childcare for people who are on welfare so they can get jobs and try to make a difference. It shouldn't even be called welfare it should be public assistance where people who are in need are assisted in making it. Not handed a free ride to sit at home and have more baby's. There are too many working moms out there who bust their butts to make it on their own.

I agree with the man who was lied to.  I do not think women should be able to get away with lying to guys so easily.  I especially think, when it is proven the man is not the father (through DNA) he should not be held responsible.

What happened to Enrique is unfortunate.  But the real victim is Selina.  He abandoned her, as if what happened were her fault.

 

No, I don't feel that he should pay child support for a child that is not his, but he helped raise her for ten years.  And to up and leave her like that is just wrong.  He could have still been a part of her life.

 

I feel sorry for what happened to Selina, and I pray that she will learn to forgive Enrique and her Mom, for the pain that she has endured.

The "new wife" may have something to do with it, but who is responsible for his actions?  HIM!  He was very upset and said himself that he wanted justice.  I don't think the new wife helped this feeling but he is the one responsible for cutting his daughter out, not her.