Topic : 12/25 Parent Trap

Dr. Phil, I have never posted on any talk show boards, however I do feel very strongly about this also. Ms. Allfed, I felt was off subject a couple of times and her statments made me cringe. I have been on both sides of child support {paid and recieved} and it always amazed me how different the laws are when it is mother verses father. I raised two stepchildren and provided 1/2 the income, but knew it would be that way and it was part of the decision making process when they came to live with us. I'm very glad I did it, because I now not only have three daughters but also two grandsons. And I want to state that I see  no line between biological and non-biological. But that's me, and everyone could argue their side until doomsday. What's sad about this situation is that when she lied she altered his life outcome. If he would've known, maybe he would've  moved on and been in another loving trusting relationshipand had many children.  I don't feel he should be made to pay support, it should be his decision and he probably would continue to provide help becuse obviously he does still love this child. It's easy for some other person like ms. Allfed to say he should have to pay, but she rich and doesn't really care how he lives day to day just as long as she wins. Some fathers made to pay extreme amounts are living on nothing then can't also provide the {fun stuff} when they have their children and then feel bad about that!   It was just wrong that she lied, and it irritates me when women use children to get money. I am a firm believer in what goes around comes around. It's to bad she didn't see that years ago.

Gloria goes off about THE problem being fathers not paying support for their own children ... yeah, like the Bioloigical father in this case -where is he?  She says...and the mothers have to go on welfare -- What, it's better for ONE man, as in this case, to have to foot the bill, even when he is NOT the father?

I also don't think this mother would have to go on welfare. She can work, and has someone wiling to help support, and could go after the biol. father.  What she did is fraud, and she should be grateful to her ex for providing for her child, not trying to get more.  Don't mix up the issues.

 The mother is to blame if she had told him the truth from the beginning this child would have grown up knowing that he was not the father and not have been hurt. She knew from the beginning this was not his child and lied to him for the money. She knew he would have left her the minute he found out. By her own words they were having problems in their marriage.

 He was wrong by telling her the way he did but I think his anger and hurt and maybe him not wanting to be a part of the lie is what drove him to tell her. Is there any good way to tell a child this information. I dont think so any way told is still going to hurt the child very bad. But  I think he is living in his own hell and wishes he had told her in another way and had kept the relationship going.

 I do believe that the mother only wants the money and should be ashamed of herself she is the one who caused this problem and sits there and smiles about it. She knew when that child was born that he was not the father. She may not even remember who the father is and knows she will not get any money from him. She just wants the money and I dont think he should have to pay for a child that is not his. It should be his choice if he wants to continue to pay or not. She made decisions for him that she had no right to make. I hope that the child and the dad can try and work threw this and mom needs to stay out of it. Mom needs to go to childsupport and tell them she will no longer accept support for that child. But I am sure she will not do that. This is about money not her daughter.

I do not think the man should have to still pay childsupport for this child, however i do think he still should continue to be a part of the childs life.