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Topic : 12/25 Parent Trap

Number of Replies: 3786
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Created on : Friday, October 26, 2007, 02:49:00 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 10/29/07) Fraud. lies. conspiracy. They may sound like the latest Washington scandal, but these are allegations of exes at war over child support. Dr. Phil's guests claim they became victims of the perfect crime when they were led to believe they fathered a child that was not biologically their own and were forced to pay. First up, Enrique says he was shocked and angered to discover he was not the father of his youngest daughter, Selina, and that she was conceived during his ex-wife, Maria's, adulterous affair. Maria says he raised Selina but then abandoned her to save money. Why does Maria say Enrique's current wife is to blame for the fractured relationship? Next, 13-year-old Selina speaks one on one with Dr. Phil. Will she decide to let the man she once called Daddy back in her life? Then, Carnell Smith, who uses the online moniker, "Man4Justice," suffered a similar fate to Enrique, and but he fought and won. He says he's tired of seeing women trap men and get away with it. A heated debate ensues between him and feminist attorney, Gloria Allred, who argues that men like Enrique should continue to act as the father ... and continue paying! Talk about the show here.


Find out what happened on the show.


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October 27, 2007, 2:07 pm CDT

10/29 Parent Trap

I strongly feel that if a man finds out that a child he has been raising or supporting is not his then by all means he should NOT be obligated to pay any further child support and should be able to sue the mother for all the money he did pay to her. Some woman these days are so greedy and malicious. It's not fair to men that truly work hard for their money to be a victim of fraud like this. HOWEVER, I do feel that the relationship between dad and the child should continue. There is a special bond that is grown between the two of them and that should not be lost.
 
October 27, 2007, 2:28 pm CDT

Reality Check Gloria

  I can't wait to see how Gloria Allred manages to rationalize making a man pay support for another man's child.  This is deceit in the extreme.  It deprives the child of their rightful knowledge of their parent, it allows them to invest their emotions in someone in a false way without their knowledge, it does the same to the unknowing parent, it causes emotional and psychological damage to both injured parties. 

  I can't imagine then telling the man that he should now continue to pay support for a child that he knows is not his but was conceived in treachery during his marriage.

  I hope he and this daughter will be able to recover their relationship.  It was built on honest feelings for each other and had nothing to do with blood or money. 

  I think that as soon as all the children in this household are out on their own, this woman should be arrested for fraud and made to work until she pays the gentleman back every cent he paid her in support for this child.  It isn't the law, but it would certainly be justice.

 

 

 
October 27, 2007, 2:33 pm CDT

this is so wrong

I am so outraged at women that would do this! It is totally unfair!  As a child that was born to a teen mother in the 60's (and a court appearance) when DNA was not available, it makes me angry that a man could be put into a situation that he is abused.  Unlike that situation now, my mother had no recourse.  She knew the father of her child and it was dismissed that he wasnt, although in years to come, family now know I am his child...oh, well to late!  I am still to this day upset over teenage pregnancy and have total empathy to the children born to MOST of them (not all).  I think that it upsets me becauce of my situation.  I feel that I didnt get a fair chance in this world sometimes due to whom I was born to and the fight I had to have to prove that I did indeed belong to the man that I was always told I did.  Oh yes I was right...even when the court said no way back then.  The thing that bothers me is that ALL children need to know, and deserve the truth of whom to they belong.  All in all, I know this isnt about teenagers, adults should know better, but oh the nighty dollar and what it may achieve them...pity on those who do this.  The children are those who suffer and that really bothers me!  At least I have grown into a responsable adult with wonderful kids who know thier Dads (I am twice married) 2 boys who are happy and smart and involved in things they should be :)  Doesnt every one have a story to tell??  Boy I could tell you one!  But the thing of this is that some woman are soo wrong to but a man into a situation that is emotionable as well as financial devastating.

Shame on them and they shoud  pay for the lies..and NO even if a man plays Daddy and he really isnt..he doesnt have to pay for that at the end of a relationship untill that shild is of age!

 
October 27, 2007, 2:50 pm CDT

It Happens All The Time

The women of the world know that they can trick men into getting them pregnant so they can have a decade of easy money.  There is an epidemic in this country of women coming from other countries to marry American men, have a child and then divorce and on to the next man.  Wash, rince, repeat into financial secuirty. 

 

With VAWA and the domestic violence laws in America, men are now nothing more than wild game for women.  They know how profitable it is to have children in America.  With the advent of Title IVD programs and VAWA, the government encourages divorce and custody battles.

 

Just read Dr Stephen Baskerville's latest book "Taken Into Custody" and you will see how the American Bar Association built the Divorce Industry for their profits and the destruction of American Families.

 

 
October 27, 2007, 3:09 pm CDT

These women need to be punished...

 These women should be ASHAMED of themselves!  My tax dollars are going to help them collect the child support payments from these poor men and frankly, I'm sick of it!!!  Put in her jail and throw away the key!!!  How could she lie to her child about her health history, etc?  She (Maria) is a real sicko!
 
October 27, 2007, 3:14 pm CDT

no way

do theses women even know the full intent of what can happen when you run this kind of game

 

an yes they know an know when they or carrying a child whos it is.

 

i dont think its all about fear,they wasnt afraid to carry on an affair an get pregrant.

 

 i just got a call from a dear friend who just found out threw her own work

 

the set of twins she thought was her sons  OR NOT

 

 3yr old little boys.

 

gma had a feeling from the way the girl acted an from things she would say when her son an her would fight.

 

she took it upon hersef to find the truth out..

 

with the help of her son who came to her with the same thoughts

 

.

now for over 3yrs she has allowed this man to beleive theses kids or his,

 

over 3yrs she has run this game only letting it out when they fought,

 

she knew from the start theses kids was not his ,

 

 

by the words she would throw at him durning a arguement.

 

the sad part gma ,gpa an now dad all or so shocked an shes standing there an has said this

 

 

I CANT BE HERE WITH ALL THEES LIES AN MISTRUST GOING ON IN THIS FAMILY.

 

OF ALL THE THINGS TO SAY  THEM LIEING,MISTRUST,AN THEN BEST OF ALL

 

THE FINAL

 

 SHES WAS RAPED 

 

 SHE SAYS SHE WAS RAPED

 

NOW HOWS THAT

 

IAM SAYING HURT,AN YEARS TOOK FROM NOT ONLY THE KIDS BUT DADDYS

 

 WHO LOVE THESES KIDS AN NOT KNOW BUT MOM KNOWS

 

SOMETHING INSIDE GMA AN GPA DIED THAT DAY

 

THE LOVE THEY HAD FOR THESES LITTLE BOYS GONE

 

THE ANGRY,HURT THEY FEEL MAKES THEN NOW WANT TO DISTANT THEM SELFS FROM THE TWINS

 

AN THIS IS A SET OF PEOPLE WHO TOOK IN FOSTER KIDS,ADOPTED KIDS

 

THE LIES,HURT,ANGRY,MISTRUST THE GAMES

 

ALL TOOK THE TOLL OVER THE LOVE OF THESES 2 LITTLE BOYS

 

SHOULD THE MAN HAVE TO PAY  HASNT HE PAIDED ENOUGHT IN HIS MIND HES LOST MORE THEN MONEY CAN EVER REPLACE

 

HOW DOES HE NOT LOOK AT THE CHILD AS PART OF THE MOM

 

AN MOM WANTS MONEY IN THE END.

 

ITS A GAME DR PHIL

 

ONE THEY PLAY SO WELL EVEN WITHOUT A CHILD INVOLVED ITS THERE WAY OF LIFE

 

HOW DO YOU LIVE WITH SOMEONE LIKE THAT

 

,NOT ONLY BEING THE  DAD WAS A LIE

 

BUT THERE WHOLE LIFES OR BUILD ON NOTHING BUT LIES

 

ONE RIGHT AFTER THE OTHER

 

IF THE MAN WALKS ITS BECAUSE HIS WHOLE LIFE WAS DESTROYED BY MOM

 

LIFE AS HE THOUGHT NEVER WAS

 

YEARS HE PUT IN NEVER WAS REAL

 

SO THEY WANT HIM TO KEEP PUTTING IN MONEY ON A LIFE BUILD ON NOTHING BUT LIES AN DECEIT.

 

WAY TO GO

 

AN THANKS MOM YOU KNEW ALL ALONG.

 
October 27, 2007, 3:33 pm CDT

This is a Washington Scandal in a Sense...

It's all good, because I am happy to raise any child that is in need of a Father, because all children do need a Father and Mother figure one way or another! However I would like to chime in and share more of a positive note with a few others....

When growing up, my father frequently reminded me to "pay attention to the details." That saying became very real to me in the area of parenting. While raising children, the details make great differences in development.

Being that children are people and not machines, the kind of detailing needed is different. Focusing on the externals of name brand clothing, perfect hair and having the most extensive collection of expensive toys are not the kind of attention needed. Such efforts will result in the child feeling rejected and learning to substitute material objects and appearances for love.

Children need the attention of their parents. The areas of their lives and abilities given attention will develop most. If the majority of parental attention is given to not standing correctly or not finishing tasks, these areas will develop further. In situations where habitual fault-finding occurs, the child eventually takes all that criticism inside and turns it on themselves. Such methods often lead to unmotivated children with low-self-esteem.

Many adult parents still carry emotional scars from harsh fault-finding from parents. A good common sense rule is, "If you would not let anyone talk to you like you talk to your child, you need to make some changes." Sadly, many children suffer in quiet desperation as victims of harsh treatment, that the parent justifies by telling themselves "it's for their own good," or "I only do it because I love them so much." Such displays are not experienced by the children as "love."

Children need attention given to the details of their lives. The attention they need the most is from their parents. They need encouragement in specific and tangible terms. Statements like, "It puts a smile in my heart, when you show teamwork by playing nicely with your brother" make a child beam. Find them doing good things and bring that to their attention. Identify the specific talent, how it is used and your reaction to it. Train their young minds to search for their talents with the same kind of attention to detail that may have previous been devoted to fault-finding. It also helps to identify internal or character qualities to praise rather than external appearances.

By developing these qualities, the child will always carry those qualities with them, regardless of age. Children do want to please their parents. The challenge many children face is that they often do not know what does please their parents.

Focusing on the details when children do good is important. Such an approach is detailed enough for children to understand what they did good and how it made you feel. Parents often devote too much detail to fault-finding. When the attention to detail is directed to finding good, it results in motivated children with strong self-esteems. If the devil is in the details, perhaps the saints are also. Ask George Bush about the good vs evil :P

Anyhow sorry to ramble, just wanted to share a bit of positive light on this subject of children.

Good luck and hope everyone has a happy weekend!
 
October 27, 2007, 3:33 pm CDT

Wrong Vs. Right

1. Do not lie to any man regarding a childs DNA

2. Tell the guy up-front that the kid is NOT his especially after a break up and then you get back together and find out you are pregnant, the possibilities are endless that the baby could be anyones.

3. Babies are not to blame, AUDULTS ARE*

SO..

 

In this case ..

no adult male or female should have the right to walk after ten years of knowing a child as their own and dessert this human being . this is emotional abuse. Simply morally wrong.

HOWEVER, if I were the judge, I would snap the woman for lying so MANY years on her ass and fine her for every last dime too. She would not get any child support at all. But the father would have rights to have custody of the child and full visitation. The mother would have to do community service with children who have been abused and abandoned  by both sets of parents.

She would have to explain to the judge as to why she did not tell her husband who she was separated at the time about the affair she had while they were separated that she was pregnant and did not explain this to him at all. Morally wrong?

yes.

Now she has to  "fix it?"

How?

Cannot.

her to be ex-husband , on the other hand would not be allowed to emotionally abuse a child. He either loves her un-conditionally or does not.  She still loves him and see's him as her only father.   If he  has a decent bone in his body he would volunteer and pick her up on his medical /dental and see her all the time and be good to her like he use to.He would buy her clothes and make sure that all school  is taken care of too. Maybe he should simply get custody of her, period.

But pay actual support? NOT!

That should be his decision not the courts and no one elses. he would do this , I bet on his own , because he loves that child. He is mad at the wife and rightfully so.

 

By the way, I know so many really good women and none of them would do this sort of thing. Sadly many of us are are put into bunches with this type of female.

I feel for the child as the child is the important here.NOT THE WOMAN!

 
October 27, 2007, 3:38 pm CDT

Parent trap

I just can't contain my objection to attorney Gloria Alred's opinion that the man who is not the father should continue paying.  It is thoroughly disgusting that any court would ask a man to pay for a child that is not his, we have enough "dead beat" dads as it is, let alone make someone who is not the father pay.  If he wants to continue to pay that is up to him, but he should not be forced to do it,  it should be his decision  to pay or not.  The mother should go after the real father and if this man has paid he should be able to sue the real father and get his money back, only if he wants to do it.  If the mother does not know who the real father is, well that's too bad, if she has any idea at all a DNA test should show that, and go after the real Dad.  Also I am sure that the child would certainly want to know who his or her real father is, for medical reasons if nothing else or maybe to at least have the chance for the real father and child to know each other.  Thanks for letting me share my opinion with you.
 
October 27, 2007, 3:39 pm CDT

Gloria's got it all wrong

As a mother who has both gone through the Friend of the Court process (they're really nobody's friend) and worked with men who have had to pay for children they have not fathered, I can say that they have suffered gross miscarriages of justice.  They have been taken advantage of emotionally and financially during their marriages/relationships, and then to cause them financial hardship makes them bitter and resentful.  Ms. Allred should spend her energy fighting for laws to compel all biological and adoptive fathers to support their children instead of insisting that men who were deceived suffer even more.
 
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