Topic : 12/25 Parent Trap

This shouldn't be about the "new" wife. This needs to be about the fact that the mother committed Paternity Fraud!

What does it matter WHY she brought it up? Maybe she had good reason, maybe not.

Besides, I'm sure she had no way of knowing what her husband's choice would be. And shouldn't he be allowed to make whatever choice he wants to since he obviously wasn't told in the beginnning there was a possibility it wasn't his child.

Enrique is only human and I can only imgine how heartbroken he was when he found out this devastating news.

The child is a victim in this, I agree 100%, but Enrique is also a victim.

I cant believe this crap.  It seems simple.  Men that find themselves in these circumstances should be able to maintain a relationship with the child but not have to pay child support.  These guys are being trapped into paying for a child that isn't theirs.  No matter if they've raised it for 2, 5 or 12 years, whatever.  It is definitely a form of fraud.  I have 3 children and I'm divorced.  I cannot imagine making my ex pay for a kid that isn't his...

I think the Dad in this story handled the situation extremely poorly but the Mother is to blame for the entire situation by lying and entraping him in the first place.

I was outraged at both the mother and that attorney "Gloria Allred" and things that she said on your show about "The Parent Trap". I am in the midst of a similar thing right now and felt this show very personally. I do not agree with how he told Selena about the problem and how he has handled it but I believe that it is the mother who should not only be on trial by Selena but also by our court system. When I was 30 years old I met a woman who had a daughter from a previous marriage. The little girl was beautiful but the mother was hard to get along with and causes trouble in my life. I knew I would miss the daughter but after a couple of months of dating was ready to tell her to leave when she annouced that she was pregnant. I paid for the pregnancy, the delivery, and child care as well as clothes and housing and food and all else not only for the son that I thought was mine but for her daughter as well. We lived in Calif. then and I received a job offer in Indiana in 1993 and I hoped that the move might get her away from some negative inluences she had in Calif. so I moved us. It didn't work and we broke up in November of 1993. I paid support and school and medical expenses for the boy from 1993 until Sept. 02 when I became disabled. During this time I have not been able to even visit the daughter, not that I didn't want to. My visitation with the boy depended on her mood or if she wanted more money. I would be brought before the judge if I was a week late on support for contempt but if she refused to allow visitation they would say "Oh well". I got involved with and engaged in 1995 but her actions broke up that relationship and when broght before the judge his words were "well, you two have not been apart for that long, she still needs to get comfortable with this situation. That's 2 years apart and she was married again only 1 year after we split but she can brake up my relationships because she's still healing?

     As this boy has grown up he has been around his "Step-Father" for 11 of every 14 days. I have also seen as he has grown that there are some diffences between us that make me question him being mine. Most notably in the last 3 years. First, we do not look alike at all, he shares no common resemblence with me, second his accademics, I was always a very good student, and third athletically. I was varsity baseball, football, soccor, track and field through out my high school years. I was approached by a MLB team in my junior year to join them after I graduated. I received my pba card at 19 and I've always been a scratch golfer. This boy likes sports but rarely plays because of lack of abilty. 2 years ago with Social Security taking so long she stopped allowing visitation, the court said that when I get caught up with my child support I could see him again. Now he is asking that I sign the papers for him to be adopted by his step father. I could do this but would still be resposible for near $22,000 in back support. I do not want to lose my relationship with him even if he is not mine but if he is not I should not be resposible for this money that I need to survive.

     This brings me to the attorney Ms. Allred. She stated that the child should come first and I agree with her but allowing mothers to continue to control their ex's life through the children and money is just as wrong, especially if the child is not theirs. She also broght up the fact of all of the "MEN" that owe back support to their children. What she didn't say was that on the rare occasions that men get custody the women in these situations are far and above more likely to fall behind or quit paying support than men it's just that there is an overwhelming amount of men that need to pay support so it is most often a male that is behind. If it is truly about the best interest of the child why do our court systems hammer the men for contempt for not paying but not the women for contempt for not allowing visitation? Why do they allow the women to control the man's life, relationships, and all else using the children as leverage?

      When my social security does go through I plan to run DNA tests and if he is not mine then I should not be held responsible for him financially and I should actually be paid back what I have had to pay out, this does not mean I want to lose my relationship with him. Something needs to be done to stop women from using these children in this way and they should be held not only finacially resposible but crimanally as well.

This show was absolutely unbelievable.  From everyone from the Mother to yes, you Dr. Phil.  First let me say that I am a woman that came from a divorced family in which my biological father just chose not to pay child support.  Unfortunately it was many years ago when laws were not in place to go after dead beat dads.  So with that, I am totally in favor of laws to find dead beat dads or MOMS!!

But this show is not simply a black and white case.  This mother deliberately lied to her ex.  Strung him along for many years.  Lied to her daughter and the rest of her family, and simply sits on stage so  smug about it all.  And then a high profile attorney comes on and jabs the dagger into Enrique's heart a little furthur.  Not once did I hear anyone, including you Dr. Phil show any compassion for this man who loved this little girl and one day was told it is not his daughter.  Yes, he made a terrible choice in "HOW" he went about things afterwards.  He admits that.  He shows remorse for that.  Did anyone see any remorse from mom?  All I kept hearing was that this was about the child.  The child comes first.  Well if that is the case then both mom and Enrique should have been put on the chopping block for how they "both" have hurt this child.  And then episode two should have been about  "Financial responsiblities". 

Dr. Phil I respect you and most of the time admire you for how candid you are.  But I must say today I was very dissapoined.  Again not once did I hear you express any compassion for Enrique.  What  if your son was walking in Enriques' shoes?  I don't think that you would have sat back showed no compassion for this man. Did I miss the part where you told Enrique that you were sorry for his loss?  Not once did I hear you offer therapy for any of these people other than the little girl.   Obviously, they all will be in need of much counseling. 

The comments were made about Serena's outlook on men in her life.  She is fortunate enough to have a stepfather who is willing to go to all lengths to be there for her.  She also has a man in her life who is not her biological father, but who is asking for forgiveness for how he handled things and wants to continue a relationship.  As far as I can see there are two men stepping up to the plate for Serena.  Maybe we should be more concerend about the women in Serena's life.  After all, mom lied, shows no remorse, still has her hand out for more money, and continues to tell Serena in so many word that he is the bad guy.  Wow, what kind of message is that sending? 

As far as the financial responsibiity.  Enrique is not the father.  He should pay no child support.  Mom should pay him back if the biological dad cannot be located.  IF biological DAD is located he should have to pay past child support back to Enrique.  Maybe that would push mom to find the biological dad instead of sitting back with her hand out.  She can absorb all costs to find the biological dad.  Enrique shoud be granted visitation rights if Selena is in agreement.  Mom should have no say in that. I bet she wouldn't be so smug about it then!

I could go on and on.  This show really hit a nerve with me.  No time today for this but could not sit back and say nothing.  Bottome line- there was a real lack of compassion for Enrique today.  Imagine how your heart would be torn up Dr. Phil if you found out one of your sons really was not your son.  Ms. high profile attorney-YOU need some counsling in expressing some empathy.  Looked to me like you were doing a sales pitch for any potential law suits.  Mom, you would have been better taking a drama class to at least try to act like you care a little bit.  And beautiful Serena, you have many people who love you.  Embrace that and make your own decisions.  People make bad choices when there heart is hurt. With your hurt heart, try not to make bad choices about two men who seem to truely love you. And try to remember, one of those men's heart has been hurt tremendously.  You are a lovely young lady.

Dr. Phil, you need to continue this episode. 

Umm, yeah, it's the mother's fault 100%. The step mom never held a gun to Maria's head and forced her to get into bed with someone else while she was still married, and then keep it a secret that Enrique may not be the father.....Mia wasn't even in the picture then.

Just because the child lives with Maria doesn't mean she is taking responsibility for her actions. We don't know that she isn't badmouthing Enrique to her daughter every chance she gets. We don't know what is said.

Yes, maybe Enrique could have handled things differently, but we aren't the one who found out the wife cheated and got pregnant by someone else and that he child isn't ours......everyone reacts differently.