Topic : 12/25 Parent Trap

I understand that what has happened to this gentlemen is unfair.  It isalso unfair to this young lady. I'm not saying it was right by any means.  But,  I'm concerned about the bantering about of 'poor me' me me . . . So, life handed you something unpleasant.  But, it also handed you something wonderful -- the heart of this young lady belonged to him - the pure love of a young girl for her father.  He had a gift above value.  Many people don't have that and die in loneliness.  I'm concerned he's fallen into the trap of throwing away something of far greater value than what money can buy.  The trap of being sort-sighted.  The money he saves will not hold him when he is a sick old man.  The love of a child is something money cannot buy.  I'm sorry he did not see that. 

I see that there are two options here. 

1.  Continue to disown the child which he probably could do and save the money.  But lose the heart of his 'heart not blood' daughter and likely also the heart of his other daughter (due to her heartbreak in this issue because of her love for her sister)

2. Take the high road and say - We may not be blood but we are heart  and I love you and am your dad.

Taking the high road is usually not the easiest choice. But, it  pays dividends in the long run that money cannot buy.

Important Point, I meant to put this in yesterday.  The reason why my daughter's ex didn't put his name on the little boy's birth certificate, he had discussed this with my daughter, and she talked him out of putting his name on the birth certificate until he finds out if it's his son.  He's still taking care of him and doesn't know if his own son. 

I wish Dr. Phil would give them both a "Wake Up Call," this isn't about them, it's about the children.  He's missing out on his own beautiful children.  He's the one is going to be paying the consequences.  What goes around, will come around.

Enrique was certainly victimized, as Dr. Phil pointed out two or three times during the show.  Anyone who believed he was the biological father of a child and found out ten years later he was not would be shocked and hurt.  However, his reaction to the situation, especially in light of his new spouse's input, was very self-oriented. 

Do we have the right to harm an innocent child at the expense of our need for justice? That's the question here.  Forget the legalese.  He was fueled by his spouse to sever the relationship with his  daughter at a tremendous cost to her.  He vented toward an absolute innocent.  He was certainly in pain, but this does not excuse inflicting pain on others at the same time.  I am saddened by this reaction.  Love is truly not self-seeking, and in this case, while some may justify his behavior, the consequences were dire.  This is how long-term curses start and continue for generations in families. 

We are not a millieu of molecules and DNA, but thinking, loving beings.  WIthout that love to complete the process needed for healthy growth, a human being will certainly atrophy inside.  It's too late for Enrique to "recover" his lost opportunity, though I pray he can pick up the pieces and at least try to undo some of the harm.  I hope all of us will consider this the next time we place another human being in the position of suffering damage because of how we seek justice without carefully considering the possible outcomes to others, especially children.  We need to love each other and remember that often, when we put others first in situations like this, our needs are more than met in the fullness of time. 

I am not comfortable with your reply, Mia. I feel that it doesn't make any sense from a stand point of trying to do some good. All that happened was that Sabrina got hurt. In your heart, you know what the truth is and maybe you showed poor judgment. I think that if it took you a few weeks to decide what to do than maybe you must have known what the end result could be. There might have been a better way to deal with this. It was truly wrong that he was manipulated and I think being angry is a natural response, but he is angry at Selena and he is punishing her.

I think that your husband should repair his relationship with Selena and if I were you I would tell him that his behavior although a human response is inhuman with how he is treating his daughter. Being in a marriage means being honest with each other. If I felt that my husband was being harsh with his treatment of another human being I would tell him so, as he would do for me. That does not mean that I'm not on his side and he knows that.

Remember that money does not buy us happiness. The quality of life we lead does and so does how we treat each other. This issue has become about money, not about the abandonment of a young girl.

You cheated on this man and that was wrong, but what is immoral is you accept child support from a man who had no part in creating your daughter. Yes the women he is now involved with should not talk about you to your child but you should also stop the support. I speak from expierence on this subject my usband is the victim of paternity fraud and he is being forced to support a child he did not father and his biological children are taken from to do so. This is serious and it needs to stop be a women and a mother and do the right thing drop the support.

Hey Selina,

I am so glad you got to talk to Dr Phil about all this.  Adults make mistakes and bad choices but don't let it affect who you are!  You are a intelligent, beautiful young lady.  When I was growing up the adults around me seemed oblivious to the affects their actions and choices made in my life.  I coped by staying out and away alot.  I always instinctively knew the behavior I witnessed was wrong and I vowed not to repeat their mistakes with my children.  As Dr Phil said you have 0 responsibility in all this so hold your head up girl and walk tall and proud! 

Here's a thought I got from an attorney having to do with the attorney that Dr. Phil didn't let on the platform or speak much.  Get the proof that the person the child is calling dad has the father relationship with the child and take that guy to court and make him the legal dad.  It's a thought you might do the homework on.