Topic : 12/25 Parent Trap

Quote From: tcon611

 I feel really bad that Selina got hurt, that was not handled in the right way.  You can't change the past.  But yeah, who's to stop any woman from doing this.  The ones getting away with it are just making it look like it's ok to do this, therefore, hurting more innocent kids.  I gurantee Robin would ask for a DNA, and yes, it would, in their case, be all about the money.

Quote From: jatwood0007

I watched the show yesterday concerning child support that men are paying on children when the men are not even the Paternal father. This effected me greatly because I too am a father that pay's child support for a child that I did not father. My wife had an affair, my life turned upside down. How do you forgive your wife for something like this. I struggled with a very difficult decision. When my wife informed me that she was pregnant, we did not know if the baby was mine or the guy that she had been dating.At the time, we had a son and he was my world. I could not even bear the thought of walking out on my son, and I still loved my wife although I was very hurt and upset about what had happened. After my daughter was born, she was the most beautiful baby I had ever seen. She would look up at me with those big blue eyes, she later became a daddy's girl. After about 3 years, you could tell that she did not favor me and that she favored the other guy, the one that she had been seeing. My wife later cheated again  and that is when I said enough. Although I no longer have any feelings for my ex-wife, I often see Heather doing something taht reminds me of everything. The pain of knowing that my daughter is not mine is always there, trust me, it never goes away. Especially on Birthday's, I try to look happy but a part of me wants to kick the living hell out of my ex-wife. My Ex-wife moved approx 2 hours away, she refuses to meet me in the middle to relieve some of the burden of high fuel prices. Also, my daughter rarely wants to come and visit. I have not been mean to her she is 14 now and likes to have sleepovers with her friends. Anyway, I pay child support for this young lady when I am not the Biological father, I have paid thousands. Gloria Allred is wrong. If something is not done about Women having children and passing the responsibility on the men who are not the fathers, then our World is going to be Chaotic. I honestly feel that Men who are not the Biological father should not have to pay childsupport, if this was to occur and become a law, then maybe women might think twice before they try to fraud someone. I do love this child that I have raised but Child support should be ended. To this date, she does not know the truth. I am struggling with the thought of telling her the truth but I am not sure it is the best thing to do. I don't believe in marriage any more because all it is is a piece of paper, I am only 38 years old and wonder if I will ever marry again because I have a hard time trusting Women about this issue. Most of all, I literally despise my ex-wife for robbing my parents of the fact that Heather is not their grand daughter biologically which I know hurts them very much. I think it needs to be a crime punishable by jail time to tell someone that they are the father of a child in which child support is being paid. Afterall, it is fraud. HELP, I'm stuck in this Parent Trap!  If it were you, what would you do

Quote From: simmer

I was surprised when I heard this story. Then to hear that he was in the medical profession, wow. That man had a bond with that child. So now it's been what 3years since she had visitation with him? He said that he wanted justice so bad that he wasn't thinking when he did that. Well it's been a few years and it took him that long to wake up? Yes, the ex was wrong but it's about the child's relationship with the man she knew as daddy. I mean how do you know what that child could become in this world if she continued to have his support? Who made him God to decide about judgment for his ex that involved an innocent child that he had bonded with? The relationship was established and he broke it. The child didn't betray him, the ex did and he had a right to separate from her. She shouldn't get alimony. Children aren't capable of making it on their own that's why they have parents. They mentioned going after the biological father for money. Would that really help the development of the child? Does she get money from him and then have a bond with the exfather still? That's just confusing for the child and reinforces her rejection. Why couldn't he consider it a gift to have this child instead of a wrong? Now he's sorry and she's a teenager ready to branch out with her independence. The minute he brings up a money issue to her in those baby steps she will step off and he needs to realize that . Leave the money issues between the adults. As for the new wife talking about their emotional stress. For what money problems? Not being biologically connected didn't take away from the bond, that was a consious choice. When a person adopts it's like that. This became an ego thing and that is sad. I hope the child excels in spite of this. I hope the new wife gets counseling to help her understand that children should matter more than money.

Quote From: DoggyMom

While lying and deceit are certainly not to be condoned, I don't exactly see how the mother should have brought this up at the time of the pregnancy or birth. "By the way, honey, I've been having an affair and this may not be your child" doesn't quite seem to me a good conversation starter. I would like to know just how Dr. Phil thinks this should have been handled 13 years ago?

I found it very disturbing that Carnell Smith countered Gloria Alred's comments about the cruelty of Enrique literally disowning Selina by saying it was all the mother's fault because she lied to her husband (and wondered why the audience applauded this). First, Enrique took his anger at his ex-wife out on the child. There is NOTHING right about that. Second, I don't quite see how two wrongs make a right. Adults should act like adults and not put their issues on kids.

While Enrique now regrets cutting off the relationship with Selina and now wants to re-establish it, he still firmly insists that he doesn't want to pay a penny of child suppport. And while he doesn't want to pay any child support he is firmly against allowing the man who has stepped up to the plate to adopt Selina. Enrique is a big hypocrite who is still full of anger and shooting it out in all directions no m atter who gets hurt.

Enrique's current wife is a real instigator. She should never have said a word to anyone about her suspicians. Aparantly she knows her husband well and I'm certain she knew what a tornado she was unleashing. She has caused everyone involved tremendous pain. I question her motives and wish Dr. Phil had dug deeper into that. If I were Enrique I'd drop her like a hot potato. If she really loved him she would not have done this. She's lethal.

Finally, I am concerned about what all this emphasis on DNA says about adoptive families. Are adopted children and adoptive parents any less "real" than biological ones? DNA does not make a family. We are putting too much importance on our chromosomes and not enough on our hearts and souls.

Quote From: jmghco

These women are wrong for doing this and I don't believe he should have to pay for a child that isn't his.  Part of a good marriage is trust and these men trusted their wives.  No good husband would question whether the child is his if he trusted his wife and because of this trust he has a financial burden for 18 years.  NOT RIGHT.  You talk about the child and how it isn't their fault but what about the future children this man will have with a loving trustworthy wife.  What about the burden on his family and children because of a lying woman. 

 

Maybe there should be a mandatory test when a child is born to make sure the father listed on a birth certificate is indeed the father.  At that point he can decide whether to take this child on as his own or get the heck out.