Topic : 12/25 Parent Trap

Yes, mom did real bad.....Dad got the joy alot of men today would love to have. We all have our sins, but the child is blameless, yet she losses a gift of a father. How much does it cost?

I couldn't believe that the main focus of yesterdays show was what the dad did wrong, and how he did it wrong, and that they thought it was all about the money.

 

What kind of pain do you think he is going through when finding out after 9 years that this little girl is not biologically his?  Very few of us can pass judgement on him for how he handled the situation.  I think he knows he did a few things wrong, and would do it over again if he could.

 

I think more focus should have been on the aweful woman sitting on stage knodding her head, and smirking the entire time.  I wanted to reach through the television and wipe that smirk right off her face.

 

She has these poor girls thinking dad is such a horrible person.  What about her? 

 

Why am I disappointed in Dr Phil?  I have always appreciated his direct approach in telling people just like it is, and calling people out for what is really happening.  He spent about 30 seconds pointing out to this woman that she is the person at fault here.  Then the rest of the show she again sat with that smirk on her face.

 

I think that this woman should reimburse this man every penny child support.  SHE is the one that is making it all about the money - how many times did she say "yes he should be paying me after taking care of her for 9 years"..... Blah Blah Blah.  She is making it about the money, not him.

 

I would like to have seen Dr Phil put her in her place more then he did, and offer dad and daughters counceling in hopes to find a relationship again.

 

I am just still so angry with the way dad was treated - I feel horrible for him.  And all other dads out there that have gone through this.

 

 

Solution to the problem?  Why aren't DNA tests on fathers and newborn babies routine like PKU testing?  That seems to be to be the solution to this dilemma.  No man should have to pay for a child that he did not father.  Maintaining the bond is important and should be permitted if child and father-figure agree, but support should be sought from the biological father.  I can't believe our laws allow this to happen! 

The only real solution to the problem is to make it mandatory that all babies have a DNA test done prior to their release from the Hospital.  The main purpose of this would be to make sure that every baby goes home with their true parents.  This will not cause any problems in the household if the mother is a faithful wife, but it will keep ALL men accountable for their actions and the legal system  will not punish the innocent bystander!   The husband/father will not be put on the spot for "questioning" the behavior of the mother, because the test would be mandatory for all babies born.   Other than this solution, women will continue to get away with lies and deceit, and innocent men will have to pay the price.  The attorney on your show said that the most important thing is taking care of the child, not money.  If that is the case, she should pay for the child, she is as much the father as the man is that is being forced to pay child support on a child that is not his!

 This is the fallacy of  " Babies pop out of men's  penises ".
The FACT today is, that since women have ALL the POST coital Choices, that what should
come with that is the same amount of the POST coital obligations.
" NOT his body, NOT his Choice... NOT his *responsibility*. "
If you gurls want us to be responsible with you all, then you MUST give us equal authority
to choose.

My son went through a similar delima in 2002-2003. He and his wife were separated when she announced she was pregnant with their third child.  I knew  that she had not been faithful to my son as a wife and so I asked him if the child was his.  He said he couldn't be sure but we wanted a dna test.

I told him if he wanted this reconciliation to work out he could never bring up a DNA test, and if he decided to raise the child as his own he didn't want to know.   They got back together and tried to stay married for almost 2 years after their beautiful daughter, Nichole was born.  However, they split for good in 2005.  As soon as they split my daughter-in-law told my son that Nichole was not his child.  He just told her yes she was his and is still sharing her along with the other two.  In fact, Nichole looks and acts more like her Dad than either one of the other two girls, but my son decided it doesn't take DNA to be a DAD!

I did not say that he should pay.  Actually I think that the same laws that requires him to pay also protects the emotional investment that he has with the child.  The mother seems to think she can keep the girl away from her "father."  Most states have laws about children born in a marriage.  They protect all parties involved in some way.  With DNA evidence maybe the legislature needs to come up with new laws regarding fraud.  Maybe babies will routinely be tested when it becomes more cost effective.  Who knows where we will go with this.  I don't know how I feel about him paying.  I guess I think he has paid enough. I know that Selina has paid too much.

Didn't anyone notice that Gloria Allred looked a bit sheepish and didn't have a strong argument?  She got tongue-tied several times.  I was hoping someone would ask her if the ex-husband had hired her first, would she have defended him?  I think she would.

So, we just got back from court and the judge did not change anything. They ordered the DNA test and he will change it onve the results come back. Since she is getting Financial Assistance she has to list 5 potential fathers. If the real father wants of her life then we might have a problem. I don't think that's right that if the real father comes into her life, we might lose visitation...My husband is on the Birth Cert. I didn't think they could take any visitation away from us. Her atty waled out and asked her if she would be willing to give us any other days and she said no...She is taking her daughter away from a very loving family who thinks the world of her. I hope the 2nd court date goes better then this one. Her boyfriend, mom, and dad were there...And her mom is just as bad. She thinks she has more right to the little girl then we do..She came into our house w/out knocking and ook Jordan from our house..We called the police and they said that since we did not have physical custody of her they couldn't do anything...That's the main thing that started this whole mess..If anyone knows a little about this or has been thru the same thing and lived in Ohio, please respond and give me a heads up. I think I am more worried about this then my husband because I can't have kids and she was my whole world and possibly the only child I would have. I came into her life when she was 3 and I got to do the motherly loving that I had been wishing for since my husband and I got together. Anyone who is reading this: Please please pray that they won't take her away from us! :(