Message Boards

Topic : 12/25 Parent Trap

Number of Replies: 3786
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, October 26, 2007, 02:49:00 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 10/29/07) Fraud. lies. conspiracy. They may sound like the latest Washington scandal, but these are allegations of exes at war over child support. Dr. Phil's guests claim they became victims of the perfect crime when they were led to believe they fathered a child that was not biologically their own and were forced to pay. First up, Enrique says he was shocked and angered to discover he was not the father of his youngest daughter, Selina, and that she was conceived during his ex-wife, Maria's, adulterous affair. Maria says he raised Selina but then abandoned her to save money. Why does Maria say Enrique's current wife is to blame for the fractured relationship? Next, 13-year-old Selina speaks one on one with Dr. Phil. Will she decide to let the man she once called Daddy back in her life? Then, Carnell Smith, who uses the online moniker, "Man4Justice," suffered a similar fate to Enrique, and but he fought and won. He says he's tired of seeing women trap men and get away with it. A heated debate ensues between him and feminist attorney, Gloria Allred, who argues that men like Enrique should continue to act as the father ... and continue paying! Talk about the show here.


Find out what happened on the show.


As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

October 27, 2007, 3:42 pm CDT

10/29 Parent Trap

As a women it amazes me how women treat the fathers of their children.  When they lie to the men as to who is the father they are also lying to their children.  As a stepmother to an 18 year old son who's mother tried to deny my husband his rights to his son for 18 years including stating he wasn't his in hopes he would go away I have seen the pain these women cause for both the children and their fathers.  In our case he is much closer to his father than his mother......these women should not be able to force the wrong father to support the child.   The child support system allows there women to play games with these men and in some cases put great financial stress on their lives because of their immoral acts

 
October 27, 2007, 3:50 pm CDT

There is two sides

Quote From: no_justice

I have no idea who Carnell Smith or Gloria Allred is, but it sounds like both of them need to do what most judges and attorneys in Chancery Court need to do. (For those who are not familiar with injustice that means they need to get their head out of their crack.) I hope Enrique no longer has to pay child support to a child that is not his biological child. I hope the mother of that child has to return every penny of illegal child support she stole from Enrique. I hope the mother gets the child support her child deserves from the biological father, who should have been paying child support from the very beginning if he is alive and able to do so. Every man that has been paying child support to a child that is not his biological child should sue Gloria Allred and people similar to her to send a message that men who are not the biological father of a child should not have to continue the lie of being the biological father and they should not have to continue paying for a child that is not their biological child. Once a man has discovered that he is not the biological father of a child and he still wants to be a father to that child and pay child support to the child he should be allowed to do so of his own choice and he should be commended for doing an honorable deed. And that child should thank him for it and be grateful that he or she has a man like him in his or her life.

This paragraph is in response to the first 5 messages posted on October 27, 2007 by Princess1, lovthesand1, vixiex, joyklein and archladydi respectively. In some states the child can sue the biological father, after the age of 18 years, and get the child support money he or she did not receive. Be glad the biological father was not in your sons life and stop thanking god and thank your husband for being who he is and hopefully your son is grateful for having a real man in his life. In the real world and in America women do NOT have an advantage over men. Any man who is being "accused" of being the biological father of a child should immediately request a DNA test if he is in doubt. If he does not then he must want to pay child support for a child that is not his biological child. And if a man does not want any children, he can always get a vasectomy and prevent future children he does not want to be responsible for. I agree, fathers are more than a checkbook, but for those who are not fathers they can be good providers and the woman and the mans biological child should be grateful for that at least. If two people want a special bond to remain in tack, they will ignore that lack of biology and continue the love that was meant to be and be grateful for one another. Women do ask for DNA test. If a man truly wants to know if a child is his biological child he will take the DNA test or request it himself. Women who know that a man is not the father and just flat out lie should be legally prosecuted in some way. Maybe not jail, unless it is an absolute last resort, but punishment is definitely in order. And I hope all men falsely accused can some day find peace. Again, a man can request a DNA test and should if he feels he is not the biological father. I, personally, am sick and tired of hearing about the rights of mothers and fathers. I want to hear about the rights of children. No one is fighting for their rights. What do the children want? Who do the children want to live with? When will the children be listened too. The children should go to the parent that is emotionally capable of raising the child in a stable loving environment. If the child is happy where he or she is, leave him or her where he or she is. And the father should not get a free pass from his responsibilities. Lying and dodging responsibility is not acceptable from either biological parent.

I know I will miss a good show that day and I probably will not be able to read any more comments after today, but I wish you all well.

Many of the readers are making judgements without hearing the full story .  First, do we really know if the wife really knew?  They may have had sex with her within a short period therefore the wife wouldn't know. I do feel that when she became pregnant that she tell her husband,so he could make the  decision on  what he wanted to do.

I do feel strongly that HE should NOT have to pay child support.  The wife should have the bio dad.

 

 
October 27, 2007, 4:04 pm CDT

Child shouldn't pay for parents' ignorance

The fact that a "father" ends of paying for a child who is not his biological offspring should not become incumbant upon the child's welfare.

First, if any couple is separated for ANY length of time, when a child is conceived within the next year, BOTH parents should be in favor of DNA testing so that future problems like this do NOT happen.

IF a child turns out not to belong to the husband, then he and the wife should decide prior to the birth if he's going to stay and actually BE a father, or not... IF he doesn't want to assume the roll of fatherhood, this must be a decision spelled out in legal documents prior to the birth of the child, whether he stays or goes.

Personally I can't imagine ANY man staying in a relationship wherein he knows he's not the father of a child, and making the child suffer for the father's failure to learn, and the mother's failure to have DNA testing done for herself.

Relationships are SUPPOSED to be based on honesty!

Having said that, I can't imagine a father staying in a relationship with a woman who is carrying another man's child without wanting to assume responsibility for that child, unless the real biological father is willing to step forward and assume rsponsibility, which (let's face it) most are too cowardly to do.

IF the biological father is upstanding, and wishes to pay support, and even to play a roll in the child's future, then the husband should be man enough to accept a 3rd person tied to the family, and be grateful enough for the additional income to be civil about the entire matter.

But in THIS instance - to learn after a time he's NOT the father, and then sever ties with the child - it's totally unfair to the child.

A child is so fragile. I can't blame this child for being slow to want this man back in her life. How can she know he won't always throw this in her face when she doesn't obey everythng he wants her to do, for the rest of her life?

She can't... And most men are too immature to NOT throw this in her face, for years to come.

Three wrongs will never make a right, or fill the void that this immature father's previous actions created in the life of that innocent child. She is probably better off without him, and he is probably too immature to not use her biological DNA against her at a later point in time.

If she decides to accept him again, she must do it realizing he is flawed, and may never live up to her expectations.

He, on the other hand, must come to grips with the situation, and love her enough to never throw this in her face, no matter how frustrated he may become with her in the future.

Personally, if she allows him back in her life, I think he's lucky. And it shows that as a child she's a lot more mature than he was, when he took his spite against her mother out on her.

All the more reason for using protection during separations, and to ALWAYS have DNA testing when a pregnancy occurs shortly thereafter. Had this been the way these two adults handled this matter, the child would never have had to be subjected to this dysfunctional family problem.
 
October 27, 2007, 4:14 pm CDT

I do not receive child support

Quote From: ncdad54

The women of the world know that they can trick men into getting them pregnant so they can have a decade of easy money.  There is an epidemic in this country of women coming from other countries to marry American men, have a child and then divorce and on to the next man.  Wash, rince, repeat into financial secuirty. 

 

With VAWA and the domestic violence laws in America, men are now nothing more than wild game for women.  They know how profitable it is to have children in America.  With the advent of Title IVD programs and VAWA, the government encourages divorce and custody battles.

 

Just read Dr Stephen Baskerville's latest book "Taken Into Custody" and you will see how the American Bar Association built the Divorce Industry for their profits and the destruction of American Families.

 

Can you explain what VAWA  and Title IVD are? Are these organizations in Chicago, Illinois? I have never heard of either. I would like to know if they can assist me. I do not receive child support. I want my children to receive their child support money or the biological father should give up all of his legal rights. I am raising my children by myself.
 
October 27, 2007, 4:22 pm CDT

Where can I sign up?

1. Women cheats on man who loves and trusts her and puts unsuspecting husband at risk of disease....
2. Women tricks man into supporting a child that's not his for 18 years....costing him, how much money?
3. Women claims this man is a horrible person BUT, oh yeah, he makes more money than the bio dad (I bet you ANYTHING, I'll place my life on that because we all know what this type of low life women is after) and his money IS GOOD enough...but he does not get to see child?
4. The bio dad, is, WHERE in all this?
5. Man finds out after 10 years that his entire marriage and relationship was based on lies and cheating and he's supposed to be happy about it and not have any feelings of hurt?
6. The burden of the lie is placed in this poor child and unsuspecting man? This could go on forever, it just SO WRONG IN EVERY WAY!!!

How can this women live with herself? She has serious MENTAL problems and anyone who would do this to their own children and then FORCE the poor man to pay child support is VERY CRUEL!
 
October 27, 2007, 4:29 pm CDT

Trapped Fathers

All too often, men have been the target of unfair court decisions where it comes to child support.  Fathers who have been shocked to find out they weren't the father after all, have been forced unfairly into child support.  I am an advocate for men who have been duped by the system.  Whether the father is the biological or adoptive father, and he is forced into child support, he is often forced to live under a viaduct  or in his van in order to meet the unscrupulous demands of the court system.  He goes without, the mother lives high on the hog and the child or children get NOTHING.  I have WITNESSED this injustice.
 
October 27, 2007, 5:30 pm CDT

Shouldn't men get a say so?

My husband was a victim of Paternity Fraud. He asked her if the child was his while she was still pregnant, because her ex boyfriend told people it was his baby, and she lied and said her ex was just trying to start trouble. Long story short, she did cheat and she lied about the paternity.

Shouldn't men get to decide whether they even want to stay married to someone who cheated on them and whether to raise another man's baby?

Like Carnell said, DNA needs to be mandatory at each and every birth. This way men would KNOW for certain and he would get to make the decision for HIMSELF whether to raise another man's child or not. Either way, he would have a say so and it would be up to him, NOT the women!  I don't think the choice should be made FOR him.

Why should a man have to pay support for another man's child, just because maybe he makes more money than the bio dad, or just because she is afraid he will leave her? He still has a right to know the truth.

Right now, if a man finds out, most times he is still forced to pay support. Go after the bio dad, make the mother pay back every red cent to the man who had been paying support. Yes, sometimes there is a bond there and that's the only father the child has known, but would the man have ever had that bond to begin with had he known his wife cheated and the child wasn't even his??

What's so hard about making DNA testing mandatory at birth, whether you're married or not, and this would put  STOP to Paternity Fraud?!

 
October 27, 2007, 5:55 pm CDT

I concur

Quote From: sonny77

I just can't contain my objection to attorney Gloria Alred's opinion that the man who is not the father should continue paying.  It is thoroughly disgusting that any court would ask a man to pay for a child that is not his, we have enough "dead beat" dads as it is, let alone make someone who is not the father pay.  If he wants to continue to pay that is up to him, but he should not be forced to do it,  it should be his decision  to pay or not.  The mother should go after the real father and if this man has paid he should be able to sue the real father and get his money back, only if he wants to do it.  If the mother does not know who the real father is, well that's too bad, if she has any idea at all a DNA test should show that, and go after the real Dad.  Also I am sure that the child would certainly want to know who his or her real father is, for medical reasons if nothing else or maybe to at least have the chance for the real father and child to know each other.  Thanks for letting me share my opinion with you.
Yea, where is the bio dad "creep" in all this? Slavery went out a long time ago. Why should a man be forced to pay after he's been cheated by the women? Who can respect anyone (Gloria or Maria) that would support a lie? Liars have no respect for anyone and therefore are incapable of forming bonds with others. In this case it's sad that the mother would put that on her own child....these women are ruining our country and need to be stopped immediately!
 
October 27, 2007, 6:04 pm CDT

I couln't agree with you more.

Quote From: callievz

  I can't wait to see how Gloria Allred manages to rationalize making a man pay support for another man's child.  This is deceit in the extreme.  It deprives the child of their rightful knowledge of their parent, it allows them to invest their emotions in someone in a false way without their knowledge, it does the same to the unknowing parent, it causes emotional and psychological damage to both injured parties. 

  I can't imagine then telling the man that he should now continue to pay support for a child that he knows is not his but was conceived in treachery during his marriage.

  I hope he and this daughter will be able to recover their relationship.  It was built on honest feelings for each other and had nothing to do with blood or money. 

  I think that as soon as all the children in this household are out on their own, this woman should be arrested for fraud and made to work until she pays the gentleman back every cent he paid her in support for this child.  It isn't the law, but it would certainly be justice.

 

 

What is wrong with this country when we have someone like Gloria rationalizing taking away the right of the child to know the truth? That women (the cheater) should have serious consequences, as well as, bio dad. What's WRONG with these people? Anyone who has no empathy or compassion for another person in my opinion is a psychopath...Gloria and that women are pathetic....
 
October 27, 2007, 6:18 pm CDT

dads that arent dads

i feel bad for these guys. my son is going through something like this only he is the dad and the mother wont let him see the boy because she is married to someone else and he thinks the boy is his. we don't know what to do about this. she said for two years that she was going to leave the husband but when the time come she changes her mind. My son was only 17 when they where together and she was suppose  to be his counselor. I wish  i knew what to do for him. he really love his son and he wants to be a dad. He had a really hard life and when the boy was born he had a reason to live again. i would like to know if anyone has had the same problem before.thanks for any advise
 
First | Prev | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | Next | Last