Topic : 12/25 Parent Trap

Far as I'm concerned, he didn't deserve to "get" anything - but if that's what you wish, your wish came true.  He has lost a child that he loved and raised - all because of an emotionally brutal lie told by the child's mother.

 

Is that good enough for you?  Or do you wish to inflict even more "karma" on the guy???

 

Anyone who thinks that paternity fraud does not affect every member of a family, often well into the extended family and step-family, is just plain naive and narrow-minded.

 

I'm "the girlfriend," and I was deeply affected by it.  I pushed, I pursued, and I supported.  Did we like the truth we got?  No.  But I'd rather live an unwelcome truth than a comfy lie any day.

 

I have a whole bunch of pity for any woman out there who maintains that they have a "place" in their husband's life --- put on your big girl panties, ladies, its 2007!!!

 

 NEVER!  She did not know what the truth was when she brought up the subject about Selina in the first place.  She planted the seed of doubt by asking the question or stating what she thought she observed.  She didn't know what the truth was until after the DNA test.  All she did was sow the seeds of suspicion.  That is a meddler.  Why sow seeds of doubt in a relationship that involves a child who is going to be devastated if the results go against her? 

You can do your best to paint Mia to be some noble person but the world doesn't have that much paint.

 She said it and I'll say it, "the current wife is horrible for bringing this up!"  Look at what has resulted!

 This is how I see it all probably happened too.  However, whether it was or not I agree that the current wife is horrible for bringing it up to begin with.  So much devastation and what has been gained???

HELLO

I JUST FELT COMPELLED TO GIVE MY OPINION ON THIS MATTER. I THINK WHAT THE MOTHER DID IS WRONG ON SO MANY LEVELS. SHE SHOULD HAVE TOLD HIM FROM THE BEGINNING THAT SHE WAS UNSURE OF PATERNITY. I DO NOT THINK WHAT HE DID TO SELINA IS RIGHT BECAUSE HE IN ESSENCE BLAMED HER FOR THE SINS OF HER MOTHER. I JUST WISH HE WOULD HAVE TAKEN A TIME OUT AND THOUGHT BEFORE HE SPOKE. I DO UNDERSTAND HIS REASONING AND HE SEEMS VERY REMORSEFUL. I DO NOT BELIEVE THE MOTHER IS REMORSEFUL AT ALL. SHE SAT THERE ACTING AS THOUGH SHE DID NOT TAKE ANY OWNERSHIP IN HER PART. I DO NOT BELIEVE HE SHOULD BE FINANCIALLY RESPONSIBLE FOR SELINA. IF HE HAD KNOWN THIS FROM THE BEGINNING AND MADE A CONSCIOUS CHOICE TO RAISE HER THEN IT WOULD BE DIFFERENT. THIS MAN IS A VICTIM IN MY EYES, BUT NOT THE ONLY VICTIM. THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS NOW IS HELPING SELINA.

WHEN I WAS 18 MY MOM PASSED AWAY AND I DECIDED TO ACT OUT. I GOT PREGNANT BY MY THEN BOYFRIEND. I BROKE UP WITH HIM BEFORE I KNEW I WAS PREGNANT. I STARTED DATING MY BEST FRIEND AND WHEN I FOUND OUT I WAS PREGNANT I BROKE IT OFF WITH MY BEST FRIEND. HE TOLD ME HE WOULD RAISE MY DAUGHTER AS HIS OWN. HE MADE A CONSCIOUS CHOICE TO BE HER FATHER EMOTIONALLY AND FINANCIALLY. I FEEL LIKE IF WE DIVORCED HE WOULD STILL BE RESPONSIBLE FOR HER. THE ONLY DIFFERENCE IS THAT HE HAD A CHOICE. ENRIQUE HAD NO CHOICE AND HE SHOULD NOT BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE FOR WHAT THE MOTHER DID.

BY THE WAY I TOTALLY AGREE WITH MR. CARNELL SMITH. HE IS AN AWESOME MAN AND I HOPE HE CAN CHANGE THESE LAWS BECAUSE THIS IS A HUGE PROBLEM.

My husband is currently paying child support in Pa for a child that is not his.  We went to court and quickly lost our case.  We soon find out that they do not care about what is right and wrong, in PA the only thing that the child support office cares about is who can they take money from.  We were told that the paternity laws in PA were written 50 years ago when people got married and stayed married forever.  So I decided to try to get the laws updated to reflect a more realistic approach that would allow paternity testing to remove any suspicion that a man had regarding their child.  I quickly discovered that the lawmakers in Pa do not care about what is fair they just do not want lose federal funding for agressively collecting child support.  I personally spoke with the man is Harrisburg that decides what laws are discussed on PA senate floor and was told that it was my husband's fault that his wife cheated on him and that he should have been more careful about who he married.  I was completely shocked that he could say something so ridiculous.  To me that was about the same as saying that someone who dressed provactively deserves to be raped.  I eventually gave up trying to change the laws, and to this day I am still struggling to explain to my kids why Daddy has to pay from someone else's child, so he doesn't have money to pay for things that they need.

 I'll answer your question.  If I were involved in just this situation and I was in Mia's place I would NEVER say one word, because common sense tells me that the only thing that will ever come of this is the devastation of the child.  The court will probably still make him pay.  So what is to be gained???

Yes we have all kinds of rights, but sometimes being the better person means we set aside our own rights for the betterment of another.  That is especially so when it involves the well being of a child and one who loves you to death even more so.  Not to mention that you also love her.

Mia is not a whistle blower, she was a sower of suspicion in a relationship she has managed to devastate.  Perhaps that was her true motive in the first place.

 Amen, Amen, Amen

 The fact that you agreed with Betch28 says a lot about you and substantiates what I have thought of you all along.  It is all about money.  What court costs and emotional stress are you talking about?  You have brought all this upon yourself.  Both you and Betch 28 sound like cold people.

As for your rights as a second wife.  They come AFTER the rights of the child that your husband loves and has supported all her life.  You knew he had two children when you married him.  What you have done far outweighs what Maria did in the first place.  It is just possible she did what she did to protect her child, what you did was for YOUR so called rights.  Time to start being HONEST with yourself.