Topic : 12/25 Parent Trap

Ah, now I see why you get so defensive. Your boyfriend got caught in the same type of situation that Carnell did.  He just took her word too, huh? Didn't have a reason to doubt. Maybe I'm not savy like  you say, but like I told you, before when it happened to us I didn't just accept her word.  As far as my name calling as you put it, tough, I call it like I see it. I still can't see a person being so trusting about a life altering thing like this. To me it makes sense to question the validity of the claim.  As for being entitled to my opinion, yes I am. If you or anyone else doesn't like it ,my suggestion would be DON'T READ IT. You already know how I feel, so take a chill pill and bypass my posts.

I know first hand how devastating this kind of deception can be.  My son, at 17 yrs. old, was informed by his high school sweetheart that she was pregnant with his child.  He had no reason to believe that she had ever been unfaithful and took on the responsbility of a father like a man.  He continued to excel in school and graduated early with a full scholarship at a local community college.  He went to all parenting classes and stayed by his girlfriends side throught the best and the worse of times.  His girlfriend we found out, after she was pregnant, was bi-polar so needless to say, she put my son and our entire family on an emotional and mental rollarcoaster during and after the pregnancy.  But because my son loved her for being the mother of his child, our entire family loved her and I treated her like a daughter.  When my grandson was about 6 months old, my son finally decided that he could not keep the relationship together and broke up with his girlfriend.  He organized his work and school schedule around days and times that would work best for his ex and the baby in order to have him for 4 hrs. p/day, 3 days per week and alternate weekends.  He also immediately began paying her child support.  But due to her mental issues, nothing was ever easy or drama free.  It was then that we decided to pay an attorney to file motions for my son's visitation and custody rights. Our attorney adviced that a paternity test be done, just in case, and adviced my son that if decided to not have one now and later found he was not the father, he would likely have to continue to raise and support the child as his own regardless of any future findings. Although my son did not feel the test was necessary, he moved forward with it.  On Oct. 27, 2005 (one month after my grandson's1st birthday) we received the devasating news that my son was not the father of the baby.  This girl knew there was the possibility and never said a word.  She put our family through hell for two years and nearly destroyed my son's life and future.  We immediately stopped all contact with the baby and his family because we felt that she had given us such a hard time with visitations when she claimed he was the father, we knew that she would hold this against my son every chance she got and would keep the baby away.  It was like we experienced a death in the family and we had to rid of every picure, toy, blanket, diapers, bottles... it was unbearable!  This child was baptized and my nephew is the Godfather.  Needless to say, that relationship is severed.  My son felt that living in small town he would likely run into his ex and the baby and his heart could not bear it.  He gave up his scholarship, transferred to another college and moved about 90 miles away in order to start again.  So in a matter of months, I felt like I lost my grandson and my son in one shot. 

Luckily, he has the mind and spirit of an amazing, strong and mature young man.  Although none of his classmates and new friends know of what he's been through, they all comment on how mature he is for his age.  He always says that he is one of the lucky ones.  He was given the opportunity to see how hard it is to be a young parent.  He knows that he will one day make a fantastic father and husband but he was given a "do-over".  His slate was wiped cleaned and knows how hard life can really be.  I thank God for the advice that he recieved from his attorney.  I also grieve for the beautiful grandson that I once had.  I saw him come into this world and shared all of the important events in the first year of his life.  I know that when the time comes, and other grandchild comes to our family we will love him or her more than anything else in the world.