Topic : 12/25 Parent Trap

Ok

The mother is a disgusting person.  I dont know how she could sleep next to him knowing what she did.  I am sure it was cuz she knew she would get more money out of him then she would from the biological father.  We would not have seen them on DR Pil had she been truthful from the beginning. Furthermore, in other parts of our legal system people go to prison for what she has done.  She knowingly falsified a government document.  I hope charges are filed against her and she is ordered to pay restitution to Enrique

I felt compelled to respond to todays show.  I propose that, because a birth certificate is a legal document, that a federal law be passed that it is illegal and punishable to lie about paternity on a birthcertificate.  If a women doesnt know or is unsure of paternity then it should be noted that way on birthcertificate until paternity can be established and proven. 

The lie on a birthcertificate may indeed go to the grave and put the child at risk for health care issues.  What if they need an organ or bone marrow transplant.  What if there is a genetic health disorder that, if known upfront, can me managed or treated easier. 

What about the girls biological father, he and his family have been denied knowing this child.  I felt like the mother in this story knew all along that her x husband wasnt the father.  What is sad is that the two daughters only find fault with the father and dont blame the mom to lying to them for all of those years. 

Lets prevent this problem in the first place, make it a punishable crime to lie about paternity on a birth certificate.  If the paternity cannot be proven in the hospital at birth then birth certificate should be duly noted that way.  The woman in this story is very selfish and is the root cause of the problem.  The x-husband made the wrong choice about how to deal with this problem, but none of us are probably really prepared to handle this type of thing very well.   

Bless the x-husband for loving his daughter so much and trusting his xwife so much that he didnt question her paternity.  

The fact that the mother lied by omission cannot be changed.  The fact that the "father" reacted in the manner that he did cannot be changed.  We can talk about how it should have been handled, we can crucify the mother, the fathers, the new wife or husband; it won't change anything.  It's time to move on and address the issues at hand today.  The child is the only person in this situation who is acting maturely, the only one who can express with any clarity how she feels.  And she is how old?  Why should she have to be the adult in this situation?  It seems to me that the adults need to grow up and make a decision about how to proceed from this point, not from the past, before it's too late.  The pain, feeling of betrayal and anger can be addressed in counseling, both private and family.  This whole issue goes well  beyond who is legally responsible for this child or who should pay child support.  I was adopted when at four when my biological parents split, my adoptive parents split and divorced when I was in my early 20's, I am a single divorced mother of a 16 year old son; his father pays child support regularly, loves his son, but spends no time with him.  I can honestly say I would give up the child support in a minute if my son's father would spend time with him--in a moment, I would give it up and find a way to support him myself, if only they had a closer relationship.  Parenting, whether you are the biological parent or not, is not about money, saving face or being right.  It's always about the children and making them feel safe and loved.

   THE POOR GUY SHOULDN'T BE MADE TO PAY CHILD SUPPORT.IT WAS WRONG  FOR THE CHILD"S

       MOTHER TO DO THE MAN AND THE CHILD THAT WAY.IF HE WANTS BACK IN THAT CHILDS LIFE

   THO HE SHOULD BE WILLING TO SUPPORT HER .

hey doc. phil!!

it's richy from edmonton canada. just wanted to say that i love u're show and wanted to share my opinion on the paternity fraud episode.

i could not stand the smirk on the mother's (i think her name was maria).  what a two bit liar.  and i hope karma comes and kicks her  in the u know what.  regardless of whether this greedy women and her children get their money or not, i believe that good things will eventually happen to good people and vice versa. 

she says that she wants this money for her children.  but u know what - i saw glimpses of the kitchen in their house and they DID NOT LOOK in desparate need of much.  don't give me THAT bologne!!  in my opinion , and i have every right to say this according to free speech...she has indoctrinated her children to take every ounce of life and money from enrique. 

the daughters have a new stepfather who seems to be able to take care of the family.  the girls don't want to have anything to do with the father.  and so.....so be it! let enrique be!!   as my mama tells me - if those daughters and ridiulous mother are greedy for that money, they'll get what's comin to them all right....A LOT OF BAAAAAAAAD KARMA!!!

dr. phil, u should have given that greedy grechin woman more of a SMACKDOWN and wiped that grin right off of her face!! 

love ya doc, 

your edmonton fans think the world of ya!!

The situation and the well bring of this 13 year old is what counts and should be the primary focus.  Reading all messages posted and seeing everyone's point of view, it makes me feel puzzled about the society we are leaving in.  Parents are and continue to make mistakes, and though errors are a big part of being humans, one must also learn to continue to make amends, or at least try. 

I feel for the little girl, an innocent daughter caught in the middle of fears, ordeals (mom) and machism, insecurity (Enrique).  I am concern about her, thinking she'll grow up with this deception for her the rest of her life, and will probably fail to trust anyone again and ever overcoming this incident.

At no point did I feel confident about the mother (maria) I would probably be at ease, but I hope she finds strength, and courage to realize that this is a just hurdle in her life, that she should try her best to overcome it, intelligently and come to peace with the fact that this is in no way her fault, nor should she blame herself, or face self inflicted situations blaming this sad incident. 

I am as shock as far as the attitude of the mom for lying to her daughter, as I am in shock and upset towards Enrique for being a "macho" enough to leave her, take the step to find out the truth, but not being macho enough to meassure the consequences this would cause the innocent child; Enrque:" You are not the victim here; you are just a part of this big mess".  Shame on the both mom and enrique for such failure as adults and lack of maturity to handle situations like this ones.  I wish Selene the best.

If a man doesnt pay his child support he is held legally responsible.  If a woman "fraudualently" obtains child support nothing is done.  Mothers should have to re-emburse the child support and then they can seek child support from real father.  I missed two payments of child support for my daughter and my driving privleges were suspended.  I moved in with a woman and her sons father was $15.000 outstanding in his child support and nothing was done.  When she informed Child Support Inforcement Agency {a service up here in Canada} and they had no disire to go after the money.  Infact no one really wanted to help till she informed Mothers Allowance {a Family and Social Services program}.  Because, my then, girlfriend was on Mothers Allowance the outstanding debt was actually owed to them.  It didnt take them long to see to it that the debt was paid.  After that, his payments were suppose to come directly to her but it was a fight every month to get him to pay.  Had a new wife, new children and a five bedroom house so it wasnt even a matter of him affording his son. 

So again, if a man doesnt pay his child support he is held legally responsible.  If a woman "fraudulently" obtains child support vitually nothing is done.

I want to say thank you, I'm the  custodial parent of my two sons for the past 9 years , and in the State of New Jersey because my ex-wife had triplets with her present husband, had her child support was cut to $22 per week, It is a slap in the face to all hard working fathers. This woman does not provide anything to these kids, benefits, in fact she has not given them birthday presents or Christmas gifts for the past two years and he response is she didn't have the money, but was able to get the triplets gifts. I tried keeping them from thid pain, but again in New Jersey the courts won't allow me to cut visitation despite the pain the go throught eachand every visit.

 You on the other hand are a stand up mother, in fact you are a true MOM, anyone can be a mother, only a chosen group earn the name MOM. I'm glad to hear you ex is still involved with his daugher, biological or not. love for a child  is love for a child......