Topic : 12/25 Parent Trap

I am upset about the mom keeping her dirty little secret and only used it when she though it would be convienient for her.  She has truly made a mess of this, and she should be the one trying to make things right between her daughter and her ex-husband.  She should do everything possible to make things right to everyone involved including the other child. 

the father needs to stand up for his rights and fight for custody and do what he can to rebuild his and his daughters relationships.      I pray that attorneys look at all the facts and not just blame the man for his mistake.  

Focus should be on the child, not the adults.

I believe that one doesn't have to be biologically connected to know love for a child not their own.

Yet I do realize that their are individuals that can't love someone else's child.

Perhaps this father is one such type.  Perhaps this child of God would best benefit from Maria a findingher child's real father and giving him a chance to love her, like she should be loved.

When one puts the ever loving dollar in front of love, that isn't love.  Understand what I mean?

Were he to have loved this child only when he thought she was his own and now due to a love of an adult, throw it all away...makes me sad for this child that didn't deserve the outcome of life, she is a receiving...

I agree with you Dr. Phil...Child first, money last.

Our Bible teaches us, "the sins of the parents will fall down upon the children for six generations."

This I feel is one of those such cases...for I too have seen clients that were abandoned by their parents of the opposite sex and never were able to quite get their act together as adults, with the opposite sex gender...

I don't agree with how the wife kept the parentage issue quiet: perhaps unless of course, she didn't know that her husband wasn't the father.  Perhaps it was only a one night stand...perhaps it happened after a drunken party at their house and she didn't remember the night event at all...we really weren't shown the complete picture, for Dr. Phil has too many people a needing his help and getting all the details out on each and every case, is not easy.

I would say, were this the case here as well...and the real father isn't easy to be produced, or doesn't have the resources to assist with child support and the betrayed father does, what would it hurt him to continue the child support?

Wouldn't it also send a large message to his other biological daughter that he is able to love unconditionally?  So she can stop worrying that daddy's love will one day go away from her as well?

When one thinks outside the box, these are the questions the come to mind...Also think about the jealousies that are being placed on the shoulders of his biological daughter and his biological daughter is also being placed dead center in the middle of the heat...between mom and step sister who used to be a  sister...

This situation isn't only about the child that isn't his, yet was told that she was...it is also a story about the family dynamics that he is a building between mother and daughters...

This is also a slap to adopted/step parents and adopted /stepchildren...for somehow it shows that one can't love another man's child. 

This man; due to his anger, is not able to see clearly.

I pray he wakes up before he loses the whole journey...rather he does or not, will be strictly his own choosing.

Love, Light and Peace

We Are All Blessed

Tonie

I believe the mother is wrong for expecting continued child support. I believe her ex-husband was wrong in the manner in which he handled the situation. Even though he realizes the mistake he made, the damage caused to Selina is irreversible. All of the deception was on the part of the mother. She should have been the first one to say to her ex, " You don't have to pay me, just don't hurt my daughter. She loves you and that is what is important, not the money."  The mother seems to want to absolve herself of all responsibility and act as though " if the new wife would've kept her mouth shut, everything would be fine".

Does Selina's mom even know who her dad is? She did not mention that. He has a right to know he has a child out there. I have been in social work for many years and have come across two cases where siblings have developed intimate relationships because of the "strong connection" they felt; not realizing it was a family connection, not a love connection. The damage can be never ending when adults don't do the right thing by acting in the best interest of the child. What if bio dad isn't a dead beat and would be elated to know he has a wonderful daughter, doesn't he have the right to know? I think Selina's reluctance to be adopted by her stepdad stems from the fear of thinking if my mom fails in this marriage, I am just going to get bailed on again, which is sad because stepdad seems to be a great guy who genuinely loves her too.

I believe that the father, who was wrongfully accused, is not entitled to pay any child support.  It is up to the father whether or not he wants to continue paying.  No matter what the relationship is between the father and child the father has the right to choose.  After all he was miss informed I do agree that it is all about the child, and if the father still feels the same way about the daughter then he would have no problem paying parental support not because the court said so, but out of love.  Like the man said, "why does the father have to be obligated to pay child support in order to continue a relationship with his child?".