Topic : 12/25 Parent Trap

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Shame !! Shame !! Shame !! on you Maria !

 

Also Gloria Allred I wasn't very pleased with you on Dr Phil's show today either !

After watching todays show I registered because I am a huge Dr. Phil fan and am disappointed by him.  I certainly agree that the tricked father has a right to be angry with the X and is a poor excuse of a man to take it out on the daughter.  No excuse for that.  What I have a problem is with is when he had the 2 'experts'  ,the woman attorney was talking about dead beat dads and NOT the topic at hand which was dad's tricked.  I also believe that Dr. Phil was plugging her book shamelessly and allowing her to speak with out allowing the gentleman which whom he asked to come on the show to speak..  I believe that gentleman was trying to speak for the men who got trapped and did not get the benefit of a child but just a bill every month wrongly.  I believe if Dr. Phil watches the show he will see what I am talking about.  I feel disappointed that a man that i believe has integrity is getting skewed by Hollywood and 'big' names.  The other gentleman on the show across for  the well known female attorney was not given fair time or a shake.  I hope someone from his show reads this because I feel if The Dr. himself watches the show he will agree.

 

peace to all

 

Hi Mia,

I think this is the only time you have been honest when you said "Where are my rights as a second wife?  I totally agree with you that there should be some accountability here but how long are we going to talk the accountability issue.  This story has a larger story that does not involve you.  I don't know when you decided to get married to this man.  First, let me say what happened to him is a travesty of justice but the decision about how he wants to carry on from the time he knew should have been totally his.  If you decided to be married to him, then you should be accepting his decision and learn to live with it.  Ultimately, the decision is his.  All the issues about whether or not the biologiocal father is there or who has to pay should be worked out with between your husband and his ex-wife.

 I agree with most of the messages posted on here. I'm an 18 year old daughter to my mom and my stepfather. When my stepdad married my mom when I was four years old I also got a stepsister who was the same age. We became best friends and sisters and did everything together, we bonded immensely. For years we went on being a family until her mother chose to sue my stepfather for more chil support. That was when my Oma spoke up, being suspicious for sometime. I DNA test was conducted and we found out in March of this year that the daughter my stepfather has been fathering for eighteen years was not his. Not only was he angry and hurt but he was heartbroken. To be lied to this entire time and then after confronting her mother not being allowed to see his daughter anymore just made things worse.
I feel that if a woman has any doubt of who the father is of their baby, as soon as the baby is born a DNA test should be done. How could someone lie for so long and only admit when the proof is there? It's such a painful experience for everyone involved, and a scarring situation that will take years to work through.
just tell the truth from the start!!!

I think that mother should account for what she has done to the whole family.  I feel in this situation, the father  understandably acted out of anger before thinking of the consequences. I think once he learned the child was not his, he should have been able to voluntarily continue a relationship with her and the mother should feel guilty for asking for a dime.  However, I also think that if the mother would have handled this a little more maturely, I think the father, who seemingly very much loved this child, would have voluntarily helped financially to support her needs.  I think him being forced to pay when he was deceived was hard for him to swallow.

I truly feel that he should not pay child support for a child that is not his.  I don't agree that he stopped being a parent to her.  He knows now that he went about it the wrong way, and wants to make it up to her.

I can't imagine any man paying child support for a child that is not his.  If a man wanted to do that, then he would adopt the child, and have all rights dropped from the biological father.  I really feel that there is a man out there somewhere that doesn't know that he has a daughter, and probably would gladly pay child support for her.  Thats if she even knows who the other man is.  I can't believe that she thinks her ex husband should keep paying child support.  I think that he should have custody of the daughter, and make her pay for all the heartache she has caused.

 I  want to say  that I think that the kids involved in   these kinds of situations should have the  right to know who their  biological father is.  its  not fair to them to keep  this a secret. I know from experience  of this situation where the mother  has  lied to the child about me being  her father and she has lied to me about   being the father  she says that i am  her father but  still denies me any contact  or anything  at  all with the child and yet still lets   her  ex husband   that signed the birth  certificate    think that he is the father so he thinks  that he is the   bilogical father when   we really dont know who is  her real father i even went  as far as to  pay for an  dna test and she refused  to let me    use it so   now what.  I am stepping up to the plate  here and saying  i want to know and she is still  running and hiding  from the truth. the child is now 10 years old  doesnt she have the right to know who her real father is?

I feel for Enrique but the way he went about it was all wrong. It was wrong for his ex wife to deceive him but he can't hold the child responsible for her mother's actions. He was in this child's life from day one and all she ever saw was Enrique as her father. He was very irresposible for the way he handled it. He took his anger for the mother out on the daughter, but I think his new wife gave him to much of a push in handling the situation. I'm more than sure she ensured him that he needed to address the issue with his daughter and her mother than he did if he;s as laid back as they say he is. Now far as for the child support, I don't think he should have to pay because it's not his child and he should not have to pay it but voluntarly do the things he was doing before such as if the daughter would have called him and said dad I need some money for a prom dress or to go out on the weekend, little things like that. Still be the father figure she knows and when she's old enough say 18 then tell her or maybe sooner depending upon the maturity but like the female lawyer stated they needed to sit her down assured her they both would be there for her reguardless and let her know the truth, But now it's gotten out of hand and now there is more damage done than if they all would have cooler heads and emotions and sat down and decide what they would do. And Enrique's ex wife is remarried so she should be able to support that child without his financial support for the youngest daughter. Basically the situation should've been kept between the 4 adults until it was necessary to include the children.  That's whats wrong today, a lot of parents, married or single, sometimes always seem to bad mouth the other parent in front of the child(ren) and when the child misbehaves, tells the other parent or seems to grown for their age then the parent doesn't know what to do with them or they become out of hand. It all comes down to the parents being more mature and sensible about situations no matter the issue.

If this women lies to her own daughter day after day about health history, etc.  what else has she lied about?  Liars respect NO ONE. Does Maria's current hubby think he's immune?  She lies to him too and she'll take him for a ride when it's time....

Often times adults get so caught up in the 'technicality' of a situation or the desired 'justice' that they fail to realize the consequences of their FUTURE decisions.  Noone can change what HAS happened but the adults can be ADULTS and make FUTURE decisions that are in the best interest of the children.  Technically, Enrique shouldn't have to pay child support because he is 'technically and genetically' not the father.  Tehcnically the mother should be charged with paternity fraud because she duped him into paying child support for 10 years. 

 

This is the feeling I get from Enrique:

"I'll show that woman for duping me into believing the child was mine...I'm going to dump the child to save some money because money is more important than my 'daughter's' self-esteem and future.  I'm not giving that lying byotch another penny."

 

This the feeling I get from the Mother:

"He still should pay because he acted as her father for so many years."

 

Why couldn't the mother say, "I was wrong and you (Enrique) shouldn't have to pay another penny toward her.  But please, she needs you in her life and doesn't deserve to be punished for my mistake."  Unself parents they are not!

 

It's clear that the mother lied and it's simply appauling to think she could continue the lie for 10 years.  However, the fact of the matter is, the child is living in the here and now and needs the adults in her life to make decisions that are in the child's best interest, not their own.  It's time parents stand up and do what is right in the eyes of the children they raise regardless of what the law says they are legally responsible or not responsible to for.  Moral law anyone? Is there such a thing?  I think so.