Topic : 12/25 Parent Trap

I just watched this show and it aggravated me so much!  I have watched this legal system tear my husband apart for the past 13 years without ever once giving him a fair break.   In short, he had joint custody of his son, then he won custody because she kept failing to appear.  Then she cried in court saying she wasn't notified in time (he seems to always get the court letters but not her??) and after battling for a year, he lost custody again.  Now she had sole custody.  But she never once adhered to the agreement because quite frankly she didn't have to.   No one made her.   If my husband took her back to court (which he did a few times), she would get a slap on the wrist and told to follow the agreement.   They would walk out, she would tell him to f-- off and that's that.   She never had to get an attorney.  NY always paid for her.   But he had to pay for an attorney.   It got too expensive.   She won the battle.   To make this even shorter, when his son turned 18 he was kicked out (they moved to Virginia) and he called us and of course we opened our doors and our hearts to him and he came to live here.   My husband went back to court and stopped child support.   Six months later the son got pissed off at us and went back down to Virginia to his mom.  The next day they are in court again asking for child support.   NY says you pay to 21.  Virginia says 18.   My husband has to pay.     BUT, we don't think he's even living with her.   She kicked him out again, he called and threatened her he'd come back here and the money would stop and so he says she let him back in.   Now all letters are returned, rumor has it he joined the Navy, the phone is disconnected and no one ever bothers to let the "father" know anything.   In this country, all the father has to do to be considered a "good dad" is pay his child support.   That's it.    

That mother was wrong!   The father was wrong in how he dealt with the news when he got it and he took his hurt and anger out on the wrong person.   I pray that child comes to terms with it and sees what her mother is truly like and understands where her father was coming from.    All the mom wants is money.   She doesn't care who she gets it from.   I would bet that if he said he wasn't paying but he wants joint custody, she would have fought him on it and won.  

Okay, I vented enough.    Thanks for listening.

Agree 100%.  As I said before, he should always get the right to decide if and how money is spent on a child that is not his. That mother did both parties an incredible wrong. What if the biological father has medical issues. She has a right to know these things and she should have the right to know who her father is to have a relationship with them. 

     I am so angry at all the adults involved. How selfish they all are. SELINA, I LOVE YOU!  You are a beautiful and wonderful young lady.  I never heard her mom say that she loved her and would do anything to take her pain away. The unbiological father is no man. He dropped this beautiful girl like a hot potato. It's so obvious with both of these so called parents that with them it is all about dollar signs.  They should get down on their knees and thank God for this wonderful young girl. Biological or not. LOVE never has dollar signs attached and if this man had loved this girl, there is no way he could just turn around and walk away on a dime as if she never existed.  These so called adults need to grow up. I applaud Chris, he does want to adopt this girl and be her father.  I do think this so called mom should be held responsible for her actions.  If Enrica had loved this girl he would want to make sure this girl has whatever she needs, financial or otherwise.  I read one post on here that said maybe the mom was afraid to tell him, afraid he would leave her,  GEEZ, you think. If she was that afraid she wouldn't have been out cheating on him and then lying. Give me a break.. I have lots of opinions, but they don't matter. The only thing that matters is SELINA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

While I did find two of the three lawyers very helpful in terms of clarifying the law and letting us know about the facts about paternity fraud, ultimately I think this is NOT a legal issue. What the mother did was wrong. Plain and simple. The result of that "wrong" created a mess. What should have happened is that the "tricked father" should have dealt with it properly and sat down with the child after getting some advice and made it clear that he loved her more than ever. (This is one comment that Gloria brought up with which I agree.) I think his vengeance and hate got the best of him - and perhaps still do. As Dr. Phil made clear, this is an adult problem. Regardless if one was "fooled", he ought to have put the child first and continued being there for her. I do think that the law should not require him to continue paying support - the court would in effect be used to enforce a fraud. However, this man should do the right thing and be there for the girl in a way that is HEALTHY FOR HER. Yes, it is unjust for him but the girl comes first and what the mother did should not have an impact on him and his moral obligation to the child here.  (By the way, I thought Gloria was self-interested, and has become obsessed with winning. Her arguments were shot down one by one by the gentleman beside her. If we followed Gloria's argument, we should question our wife anytime she gets pregnant to "be sure". Really!!? Dr. Phil should offer her his services as I think she has lost herself. The other two lawyers were great - in particular, the man sitting beside Gloria. He spoke the TRUTH. It was truly refreshing. Notice his healthy emotional, untangled approach vs. Gloria's unhealthy "I have to win" attitude - whatever "win" may mean.)

In listening to this program, I feel not all the facts were clear.

Where is the biological father?  Do they or has she revealed his name? He shoud pick up the child support.  Why was NOTHING said about this person. Was he a one night fling? He should have been brought up first--- and interviewed on the Dr. Phil show.

I understand the father, or the one who was the father/paying child support a medical doctor. Was his income used by the former spouse to justify the support of the child - that was not his.

Did I understand he has given up parental support? In that case - he may not have to pay child support if all parental ties are legally given up.  But that may also mean that visitation is also given up.

He was trusting, and his former wife is a fraud. 

I am proud of the second wife for questioning this. I am not surprised at the first wife's reaction.

Yes, parts of it were handled  badly, for the child's sake, or the appropriate communication for the timing, but the man should not have to pay any further.

And yes, if the step-father wants to adopt, I say go for it, and maybe it will be agreeable.

The lady lawyer should not have been a guest, and I would not pay $$$$ to buy her book.

You may wonder where I am on this- one husband 20+ yeasr, one child 18 who watched this with me. We were shocked.