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Topic : 12/25 Parent Trap

Number of Replies: 3786

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Created on : Friday, October 26, 2007, 02:49:00 pm

Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 10/29/07) Fraud. lies. conspiracy. They may sound like the latest Washington scandal, but these are allegations of exes at war over child support. Dr. Phil's guests claim they became victims of the perfect crime when they were led to believe they fathered a child that was not biologically their own and were forced to pay. First up, Enrique says he was shocked and angered to discover he was not the father of his youngest daughter, Selina, and that she was conceived during his ex-wife, Maria's, adulterous affair. Maria says he raised Selina but then abandoned her to save money. Why does Maria say Enrique's current wife is to blame for the fractured relationship? Next, 13-year-old Selina speaks one on one with Dr. Phil. Will she decide to let the man she once called Daddy back in her life? Then, Carnell Smith, who uses the online moniker, "Man4Justice," suffered a similar fate to Enrique, and but he fought and won. He says he's tired of seeing women trap men and get away with it. A heated debate ensues between him and feminist attorney, Gloria Allred, who argues that men like Enrique should continue to act as the father ... and continue paying! Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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anhonestwmomen

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Angry

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October 29, 2007, 1:28 pm PDT

I noticed that too!

Quote From: mommomcarole65

I am so totally irritated with Gloria Allred. Yes, we should get the "dead beat" dads, but don't take this out on men like Enrique. He was lied to by Maria. Yes, the way he told Selina is deplorable - but - he should not have to pay for Maria's lies. Maria did a lot of laughing and smiling for such a serious matter. I really wanted someone to wipe the smiles off of her face. I do feel bad for Selina - she is in the middle and is just a child. Mom should be hanging her head in shame and not trying to get money from Enrique since she lied to him for nine years. SHAME ON HER!!!! I am a mother of 4, grandmother of 12, great-grandmother of 2 and I think Maria is a disgrace to the all women. I hope the gentleman who paid for 11 years, fought his ex-girlfriend and won will help Enrique. HOORAY for him. I think he could give Gloria a run for her money on this subject. She is obnoxious.

She doesn't look sorry to me. What's so funny about this situtation. He own daughters are so hurt by it. You could tell they had been coached to say bad things about father. I wanted to slap her in the face when she was smiling. She's the cowardice!

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no1sjnbfan

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October 29, 2007, 1:29 pm PDT

ethically yes- financially no

Unfortunately there are women who lie and trap men so I guess a man should ask for a DNA straight away to prevent this.

Clearly HE was violated for ten years. Ethically, a good person would want to keep the relationship with his child, and I believe Enrique made some poor decisions, as anyone would after being VIOLATED and lied to for ten years. Hopefully he will be able to mend the relationship when he gets his thoughts collected.

The mother was lucky to have the financial and emotional support for as long as she did,. She should be THANKFUL and ASHAMED, ..NOT looking for financial support. To add insult to injury, she is making him look worse in the child's eyes now( for him wanting to be TRUTHFUL..) She did not have the integrity or courage to do..

Very sad situation, definitely NOT Enrique's fault. I believe Enrique will get it together ethically, as he obviously truly loves his daughter...

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mssullivan

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frustrated

October 29, 2007, 1:29 pm PDT

THERE NOW!!

FIRST OFF - I am personally going through this situation where my fiance found out that a child that is four years old is NOT his!!!! I do not believe ever that a man should just stand up a child and leave them wondering why "daddy" doesn't want to be around them anymore. BUT I also believe that once the man finds out that he is not the father, I do not think that he should be paying any money to a woman any longer that lied to him from the beginning. I don't agree that the father daughter/son relationship should end - and I also want to point out that in no way should the child ever get told that the father is no longer paying support for him/her. I think that from the get go that a child should not know what a father or mother pays for support. A child may look at it as a "worth" that they are as far as what they get from their parent. But I think that the child should be allowed to continue to see the person that was in their eyes their father. BUT I will NEVER believe that the man should have to continue to pay money for a child that is not his. IT's said enough that dead beat dads are damned for not paying but I find it sad that a man is damned for not wanting to continue to pay for a child that is not his. I hate dead beat dads, but don't sit and say a man is a bad person because he no longer wants to pay for a child that is not his. A man can't be responsible for a woman having an affair, getting pregnant and then not having the balls to stand up and say something to him before this child is born just because she just wants money from him. I would NOT PAY the woman on todays show one penny more and I would want to sue her for putting my name on a certificate after knowingly knowing that the man was not the father. There needs to be a law to put women away or charge them with fraud for knowing false information. You know when you sign a credit application and it says anyone signing to false information will be charged. Well this should be the same thing, she knew what she was doing or had thoughts of knowing and she should be held accountable. She should not get away with making a false relationship with her daughter and this man. This man may have still had a relationship with this child if he knew it wasn't his, just knowing that the child needed a father. But that doesn't make it right to make him pay for something he didn't create!!!!!!! I truly hope that this man does not get in trouble - I DO hope that the woman gets in fraudulent trouble. I hope the child can find it in her heart to know that the man was just trying to be honest about something that her mother has been a liar about. PRAY for this family.

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cpeace713

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Happy

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October 29, 2007, 1:30 pm PDT

You can't blame his frustration

As a woman and a mother, it is unthinkable that the mother on today's show would allow ten years to pass without admitting to her infidelity. Women have a responsibility to themselves and their children in matters involving paternal uncertainty. The man who was proven to not be the father is justly aggravated and hurt but he should realize that the child in this matter shares his same hurt and disappointment. This could serve to strengthen their bond being that they are the victims in this case. Morally, he should maintain a relationship with the child but he should not be obligated to pay child support for another man's child. This should not be taken as irresponsibility but rather as a statement that he should not be liable for the mother's poor judgment. As a woman, I believe that we have the larger responsibility in child bearing because if we cheat on our spouse, we have to care for and nurture this child regardless of who the father is. Sexual promiscuity and carelessness result in situations as these. She should be thankful that he wasn't the type of lowlife to deny paternity in the beginning. Too many men do that just to escape responsibility. Is he wrong for trusting his wife and for believing that she would honor her marital vows? Her main concern now should be to do whatever is necessary to ensure that the child's relationship with the only father she has ever known is not ruined because of her poor judgment and dishonesty. Although the well-being of this child and her emotional and psychological future should be paramount, I believe that the bigger fault is the mother's. I believe that the "father's" obligation should be in maintaining an emotional relationship with the child rather than continuing child support payments. The mother should thank her lucky stars if he continues to make the child support payments. If he makes a personal decision to do so it is fine but I think it sends the wrong message if the courts were to legally subject him to continue with financial support even though it was known to the mother that he is not the child's biological father. Peace to all!!

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formeratty

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hopeful

October 29, 2007, 1:30 pm PDT

Go Enrique!!

I am a former family law attorney (female) out on maternity leave right now. But when I decide to return to the practice of law I am NOT going back to family law. One of the reasons is that I am tired of seeing fathers like Enrique (and the other very eloquent man from Georgia) get shafted by paternity fraud. I have actually seen these poor guys get denied any visitation but still be expected to pay the maximum amount of child support. They are the victims here!!! Yet they are the ones the law expects to pay for the philandering of these trolloping moms.

I am truly sorry for the children that are caught in the middle of all of this, but maybe the *true* parent they (and we) should be upset at and should look to for their care is indeed the TRUE biological parent that (a) had the affair and (b) lied about it to begin with. These women are committing fraud and I don't care if some big shot, headline making attorney says they aren't. They are.

I realize that the law advocates that we should all do what is in "the best interest of the child." But I think too many people currently in the system (judges, lawmakers, even lawyers) hide behind this self-righteous mantra to protect the system's own self-interest. After all, if these poor guys aren't going to pick up the tab to raise these kids, they will likely become the responsibility of the state. But is it really in the best interests of these children for them to continue being lied to, just so the state doesn't have to potentially assume responsibility? I am heartened to see so many other people see the simple truth of the injustice going on here, and I am hopeful that more states will change their laws to protect these men.

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keimoe

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Happy

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October 29, 2007, 1:31 pm PDT

Mother lied to two peopleand God, with a condoning Phil

This is the first time I post cause I am absolutely disgusted with Dr. Phils advice and reaction to this situation. The responsibility for this horrible situation sits squarely on the shoulder of the mother. She lied to two people, her daughter and her husband. Not only did she lie, she broke the covenant of marriage and lied to God. All of this having a diasterous affect on the lives of two people. She expressed NO remorse, in fact, she warps her obviously hurt daughter and encourages anger at the father for telling her the truth. TRUTH!!! Thats the one thing that you Dr. Phil, did not bring up on the show at all much to my surprise. It is ALWAYS good to tell the truth even when the truth would result in hurt or pain. Children do not deserve to be lied to and to continue lying for indefinte periods of time, because it brings about extremely painful situations just like this. Yes the child should have been told earlier, but the only person that had that knowledge was the mother, instead, the mother was selfish, dishonest, fearful and weak, she did not have the integrity to be forthcoming with the truth and it hurt two people profoundly, a point that Dr. Phil minimized during this show. This girl will grow up knowing that she will not have a biological/emotional father, no matter how much she bonds with this other man, in fact, and mark my words, she will wake up one day and be very angry at the mother and exact a form of judgement upon her.

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cns121

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October 29, 2007, 1:31 pm PDT

DNA testing

The only way to solve this is by mandatory DNA testing at birth for every child. I have been on both sides of the divorce issues. I am divorced and my present wife also has an "EX". What has happened here is fraud and can be devistating to all involved. In this case the man should be allowed to continue his relationship with the child but the burdon of child support should go to the biological father. The woman that wrote the book seemed to have a problem with men that do not pay their child support, so do I. What about the women that don't pay? I paid support for my children responsibly for many years while the father of my step children (my wife's ex) tried to side step his responsibilities at every turn. Eventually I ended up with custody of both of my children, at their request, and my ex-wife did not pay a penny when it was her turn. Men are being made to stand up for their responsibilities by law, it is time for the women to step up and do the same.

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candy300

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Happy

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October 29, 2007, 1:31 pm PDT

shakeitpop

I think the mother had a moral and ethical obligation to tell the father the truth about her affair and that the child could or could not be his.

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bigshe271

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Happy

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October 29, 2007, 1:31 pm PDT

Why should he pay

First off I think that the mother in this situation should be totally responible. Everyone is quick to point the finger at the man. What about the mother? It seems as the child holds anger feelings towards the father, yes maybe he was wrong for telling her about not being her biological father the way he did. Why is there no anger toward the mother, she started the whole mess. She knew she had an affair from the start, if she was woman enough to go out and sleep around then she should have told her husband the moment she found out that she was pregnant that the child might not be his. This situation would have been solve 13 years ago. And in a situation like this I feel as a husband he shouldnt have to question his wife about whether or not a child is his. She trick him, he should not have or should not be responible to pay child support. The sad part is all the years they spend together and bonded as father and daugther. Yes the relationship should continue, but someone needs to go find this childs bilogical father. In my opinion if a man is aware from day one that the child is not his and if he still choses to stay in that childs life then yes he should be held responible to pay the child support, but if a man is totally unaware of a child being his and finds out that same day or years later he should not have to pay its just not right. These women out here needs to start taking responibility and be held accountable as well as men.

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stavangl

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Angry

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October 29, 2007, 1:31 pm PDT

Just my thoughts

I do not agree with how this man told this beautiful young girl that he wasn't the father its hard to take anyone's side except the young girl. It is hard to understand how anyone could think a child was theirs for 10 years and them be able to break ties with her. It takes a heck of a lot more that sperm to make a father. Ask any parent that has adopted and tell them they are not parents of their kids. Shame on both of them, but especially the woman. What a betrayal. It sickens me to see what we do to each other.........

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