Topic : 12/25 Parent Trap

Albrights rant logically had nothing to do with the case.  When and where the father chose to tell the child the truth is of no relevance to the issue.    The welfare of the child is important but a separate issue.  The mother should be responsible for finding the true father and make that person responsible financially. It should be that simple.

I am a woman and I feel sorry for Enrique---what a horrible position he's been put in.  Whore ex/wife lies to him for 10+ yrs. and he's the bad guy?  The child in question SHOULD BE MAD AT HER MOTHER, not her father.   Dr. Phil asks her how she feels about men?  He should ask her how she feels about her lying, can't keep her pants on mother?????

Gloria Allred is an idiot.  Totally out of touch with reality.  She should go back to the multi-million dollar mansion and shut her big trap. 

And, Chris (mom's new husband/boyfriend, whatever) better get DNA tests on all their future kids..... 

Today's show hit a subject that is long over due. It should be discussed more on talk shows. I believe both parents (mother and father) should be held accountable for their actions when kids are born out of wedlock. Why? The woman (if she respects herself) should be upfront about her indiscretions once she suspects for finds out she is pregnant. For the man, just like society tells us to ALWAYS protect ourselves during sex and use a rubber, you should ALWAYS protect yourself by obtaining a DNA as soon as it is allowable. But the problem is fear... he might not be the father... I might be the father. Stop waiting so long and most certainly, don't make any plans with a pregnant mother until you are certain this is your child, which is after a DNA test is performed. I would not worry about offending anyone since getting your feelings hurt is NOT the worst thing that could happen. I too have become aggravated over the DNA lies. MEN, WAKE UP OR BECOME THE NEW STYLE VICTIM CAUGHT IN THE PARENT TRAP.

In situation where two individuals are supposedly committed monogamous marriage, the woman is to blame and there should be laws to protect the husbands and repercussions for the wives to face. It cheating on your wife is by law grounds for a divorce, so should cheating on your husband and producing an offspring from clandestine affair. To cheat on your spouse is one thing (wrong), however, to cheat in a marriage without using protection sets the bar low. I think in situations like this, the judge should grant a divorce and order no more child support from the husband.

Everyone including the law is caught up in how much time was spent with the child which is the reason the victimized father should continue to pay. No individual should be forced by law or anyone else to assume responsibility because it is what society says is right. Let's look at the facts... there are going to be some men who say okay I have to keep paying and do love the child. But let's get real, men have a problem being fathers as it is, so to force him to be a father to someone unrelated to him is whether anyone admits it or not looking for trouble.

Quick story and then I will be done. It goes like this...

My niece had a little boy in 1996 by a guy she said was the father. They were both teenagers (18). The young man did everything he could to be a good father to his son for the first four years of his life, but that would soon change. This young man met a woman and feel in love. The woman told him that before they got married, he would have to establish paternity of the child he had with my niece. So, one day he came to pickup the child and without my niece knowing, he and the fiance took him for a DNA which revealed he was not the father of this child. What did he do? He married the woman he feel in love with and never looked back.

What happened the the child? He is experiencing all kinds of behavior problems and out of control. He thinks everyone is trying to prevent him from seeing his father because he does not understand facts, which says the man does not want to be his father. At the age of 11 now, it was just 2 months ago without anyone's permission, he set out to find this man and found him. I am not going to finish this story because there is no happy ending.

So, just a word of advice to you and you know who you are "STOP HAVING SEX WITH SO MANY PARTNERS AND THIS NEW FOUND DISEASE THE  PARENT TRAP WILL CEASE TO EXISTS.

Hello Dr. Phil,

I believe in the case of Enrique, if he really loved this child as his own for all those years, then the fact that she was not his biological daughter should not have changed his relationship to her or his financial support.  What a real parent would do is love her all the same and support her financially all the same. He new she did not have her real dad.  Where was the connection to this daughter in his heart? He seemed to turn off the love and money like a faucet.  People take in stray puppies and care for them.  He could not take in a child that was a daughter to him for years?   We as adults are responsible for all of the children in this world.  He had the right to be angry and hold his wife accountable.  However, he should  not have the abandon this child.  How would he want a child of his to be treated in this situation? What if he had a biological child with someone and did not know it and this happened to his child.  Would he want the non-biological father to abandon his child emotionally and financially?  I would hope not.  Where was his empathy for her? It was selfish of him to obsess over the injustice infidelity.  I believe a parent is born in the heart! Some people can connect and bond with children and some people can not.  Just because you can have a child doesn't mean you are a parent in your heart.  The  same goes for people who can not have children.  They can make some of the best parents.  I think Enrique may not have been a parent in his heart

I do think there should be a law to punish unmarried women who commit  paternity fraud.  I think if you are married all children born to that marriage both parents are responsible for even if they were conceived during infidelity.  The children are innocent . When you are married the two become one flesh.  Therefore, that one union is responsible for all of the children. If the husband does not want to be responsible for the non-biological child then they should get a divorce. 

Does the mother even know who the father is???? At best she can only give a reasonable guess.  On the other hand how many children would be damaged if they knew a person was forced to be in their life due to a court order??? We can be upset at the way Erique told the child the truth, but most of us are nothing more than Monday moring quarterbacks.  Until we walk a mile in his shoes we will never understand the shock and hurt that the child mother has put Erique and the rest of the family through.  

I would like to think that mom would have been glad to share her information if during the divorce if  Enrique had fought for custody of the children in the divorce.  I am very dissappointed at how the child was told of this horrible ordeal, how do you just walk away from those first steps, her calling him dada.  I agree, court ordered child support is not for him to pay, but this child thought of him as her "daddy" and I believe he should have stayed that for her...........Any man can be a father, but it takes somone very special to be a "daddy" and I'm afraid that he has messed this up.  I believe that if the truly regrets how he handled himself that he will still be there for this child to help ensure all her needs are met, because he was her "daddy" and he can take care of the daughter without giving the money to mommy dearest.

Would he have treated this child this way if she had been born prior to the marriage, would he a have hurt her, telling her I don't want to spend time with you because your not mine.