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Topic : 12/25 Parent Trap

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Created on : Friday, October 26, 2007, 02:49:00 pm

Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 10/29/07) Fraud. lies. conspiracy. They may sound like the latest Washington scandal, but these are allegations of exes at war over child support. Dr. Phil's guests claim they became victims of the perfect crime when they were led to believe they fathered a child that was not biologically their own and were forced to pay. First up, Enrique says he was shocked and angered to discover he was not the father of his youngest daughter, Selina, and that she was conceived during his ex-wife, Maria's, adulterous affair. Maria says he raised Selina but then abandoned her to save money. Why does Maria say Enrique's current wife is to blame for the fractured relationship? Next, 13-year-old Selina speaks one on one with Dr. Phil. Will she decide to let the man she once called Daddy back in her life? Then, Carnell Smith, who uses the online moniker, "Man4Justice," suffered a similar fate to Enrique, and but he fought and won. He says he's tired of seeing women trap men and get away with it. A heated debate ensues between him and feminist attorney, Gloria Allred, who argues that men like Enrique should continue to act as the father ... and continue paying! Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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filmsforme

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October 29, 2007, 2:05 pm PDT

Child caught in this parent trap

Quote From: motherof21965

dr. phil, i feel that even though this guy is not the biological father, does that mean that he dosent love this girl anymore? He has raised this kid for 9 years finds out hes not the father and basically blows her off, like she means nothing. I think that is wrong. I dont care that hes not the biological dad, hes still her dad in every other way isnt he? Do you just say well shes not mine so see ya? i think that is totally wrong of him. Now dont get me wrong, what the mother did in not saying anything is wrong as well and she should have to be responsible as well but the one that is suffering is that poor sweet little girl.....

I partially agree with the quote of Parent Trap, however, I think that if the two girls live with the mom, it is obvious that the mom is paying for part of their care. The father, biological or not, should continue to show his daughter that he still loves her as he has in the past 9 years, by continuing to support her financially because if he withdraws his financial support, his daughter will be forced to live a different lifestyle. She is used to living the way she did when her "father" helped with the support and if he stops supporting her then the entire family will need to live on less money, and the daughter will feel (as she does anyway since he layed his personal problems on her), that he doesn't love or care about her because of something the mother did. It's unfortunate for him now, 9 years later, but he's already in the father figure position and he should not stop being a supporting father midstream with a child he's been with for so long. Neither of these parents are acting like loving parents. I have 2 small grandchildren now and I would not want them parented by either of these two people. Perhaps they need parenting classes, and have their kids placed with other loving members of the family until these people can become the parents they should be. As for the mother, I'm not sure she can be helped. She appeard on camera as if she could not care less that her daughter was in pain, even though she said she was bothered by it. She did not seem sincere. She appeared very cold-hearted. I really feel for the daughter that was told she was no longer the guy's daughter! But I also feel for both daughters. I pray for them, that they get through this without any permanent emotional damage. My thoughts are with you girls! Please don't grow up to be like your parents. Learn to love others, and mostly learn to love and respect yourselves! Bless you both.

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terrazas1

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October 29, 2007, 2:05 pm PDT

You are wrong!

Quote From: isabelann

while I do not advocate all the lying that has occured here I do feel that the motives of the new wife were unbelievably selfish!!!---it seems the more money she saw being paid out from her household the more she planted the idea into her husband's head and then led him down the DNA road by his nose without any thought at all at what this may do to the life of an innocent child.----IT WAS ALL ABOUT THE MONEY---CONGRATULATIONS!!!---YOU WON!!--THE TRUTH IS OUT---THE REAL PRICE? THAT REJECTION OF A BEAUTIFUL CHILD!!--GOOD FOR YOU!

I am Mia the current wife. I first want to say my heart goes out to Enrique and Selina and everyone else involved. I don’t feel it is my place to tell my husband how to feel about this devastating mess. I suggested the possibility that Selina was not his daughter only after weeks of praying and discussing the topic with my daughter. I had my suspicions in the beginning but chose not to voice them. It was my daughter who talked me in to discussing this with my husband. As my very wise daughter pointed out; Selina needs to know her medical history and her ethnical background, at a minimum. I have never participated in tearing anyone’s family apart. I have compassion and pray for everyone in this situation to find some peace and yes, that includes Maria and the children. It’s my firm believe and wish that Selina should have a trust fund and any child support money should go into that fund for her to do with as she chooses when she turn’s 18. I’ll stand by that! I'm human and dealing with a difficult situation myself. I know for me it's not about the money. I have much more substance than that, my dear, however, you are entitled to your opinion!

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threewishes

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October 29, 2007, 2:05 pm PDT

Parent Trap

I cannot understand how a mother can put just any name as the father and get away with it. I believe that the mother should be charged with fraud. Not only is the man in this relationship being taken for a ride, but the child is not getting the chance to find out who her real father is.

The mother should be ashamed!

The man in this relationship should have never stopped seeing his daughter, I say daughter because after 10 years, they now have a special bond, he should have stayed in her life and if he wanted to help her finacialy, that would be between the, but the mother doesn't deserve a dime!!!

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mcuni2812

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October 29, 2007, 2:05 pm PDT

SHAME SHAME SHAME FRAUD FRAUD FRAUD

As a single mother that had a very hard time over the years to support myself I understand each of these points but this mother is 100% and not only should this man not have to pay one more penny, the woman should be made to return every penny she had taken fraudulently. Not only did she steal his money, but broke his heart and her daughters. She was the one that started all this. She should have let this poor sucker off the hook and found the girls bio. father so he could contribute the money, while Enrique could continue to contribute the love. One last point, if the "new man" is so involved with this, let him support the girl and stopped robbing the pocket of this poor sucker! I hope this lovely girl gets some counseling and it is her mother that broke this relationship and I am guessing continue to bad mouth the father and not doing anything to make the situation better. I have one question for the daughter, HOW IS IT YOU CAN FORGIVE YOUR MOTHER BUT NOT YOUR FATHER???? Good luck.

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msqtou

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October 29, 2007, 2:05 pm PDT

ridiculas

this is all so sad. I feel for the man who thought this little girl was his for 10 years, to find out that she is not his biological child. I think that he could have handled it all better though. He should not have told the child this information the way that he did, now he has to live with that choice. But I dont think he should have to pay for a child that is not his either. That woman should be the one charged with fraud. If she is only out for the money then she should go on and look for this girls real biological father. This shouldn't be too hard, how many men did she sleep with while married? I hope this little girl and this man that she thought was her daddy for years can move on and continue a relationship, which they had before he found out he was not her father. I understand he was proably shocked to find out this girl was not his, but anyone can be a father, it takes someone special to be a Dad. I pray that this man can continue to have a relationhip with this little girl who is growing into a woman. He should continue to be her Daddy, without the money being involved that is between him and his ex wife. I think the laws need to be changed, and stop making men pay for children who are not thiers and start punishing the women who are lieing about who the babies daddy's are for child support. there needs to more laws to protect these men! Money does not make someone a Daddy or a Mommy, love does and I know this man loves this little girl and this young lady needs her DADDY

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paulhippen

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October 29, 2007, 2:05 pm PDT

10/29 Parent Trap

I have been in this situation i also had a DNA test done and it came back negative. I wanted to continue my visits with my daughter my ex-wife declined me of that i also have 2 boys with my ex-wife one which i adopted and the other is my biological son which i pay child support and do not see either one what does someone do about that.

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joymiss

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October 29, 2007, 2:05 pm PDT

child support

Dr Phil

I think the proper way of maybe the father that raised this girl for 9 years, is to talk with the girl and let her know that he will be putting the money up for her to help out in the future ,when she turns 18, and that way he would not have to give her mom the money to spend the way she wanted. That way the daughter would at least know that he loved her enough to do that, but the woman who lied does not get to spend the money.

Joyce Hollis

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italyn67

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October 29, 2007, 2:05 pm PDT

Handled BADLY

I don't care how you look at this, it was handled sooo wrong! To me, the bottom line is that we are living in the day. I'm not saying he should have to pay child support but he handled this situation very poorly! The main issue now is the child and her best interests, like Dr. Phil tried to say many times. There was no reason for him to tell her in the manner he did and then just cut her off. He should be ashamed of himself. Like I said, he shouldn't have to pay child support but be a man. He has been raising her as his daughter and then to treat her like that? I can't understand that.

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tonidanielle

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October 29, 2007, 2:06 pm PDT

Walk in his shoes

Quote From: filmsforme

If a father of 10 years, after building a relationship with a child that he later finds out is not his biological child, questions whether or not he should continue paying for that child, I believe his priorities and values are completely out of whack! If he really loved his child, he would not change their relationship one tiny bit, and he would not change, financially or any other way, the lifestyle he has given to that child for so many years. His behavior shows me that he did not truly love this child in the first place. A good parent could not have given up their child for any reason, even if they found out after 10 years that the child was someone elses. Look back at the story of "Baby M"!! That was only 2 years and those mother could not easily give up their child that was not biologically theirs. To stop supporting his child financially would change her life, change what she is used to, how she is used to living, and certainly will change the way she thinks her father feels about her. He should have better life values, especially when it comes to the feelings of his daughter, the one that HE has made to believe was his child (no matter what his wife has made him to believe). If he has a grudge with the mother for being dishonest about his being the biological father, then he should take it up with her, and with her only. Not involving a child in the discussion. He would not have involved a child in the process of "making" a child and he should not involve a child in the process of "un-making" this child... his. Shame on both of those parents. I believe neither of them should parent any of their children. Their values, their treatment of their children are a danger to both of their children. If possible the children should live with a family member that loves them. The parents should go to counseling, learn how to be loving parents, learn how to behave properly, and then possibly have their children returned to them.

When you are in your right state of mind, you should be able to handle things better than he did. I do not think he was in the best state of mind. However, obviously you never had anything like this happen to you. If you did, please educate us on how you were able to handle being told that you were not the father.

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banner2222

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October 29, 2007, 2:06 pm PDT

Parent Trap

Dear Dr Phil my great nephew was told that my nephew was not his father by the girl friends family.Now they don,t want nothing do to with my nethew.The boy was i beilieve deeply hurt win they told him my nephew was not his father my.Nephew is in jail for another reason he was got steaaling i believe my nephew was hurt just as deeply or even more.He had very bad example of a father by my nephew.

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