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Topic : 12/25 Parent Trap

Number of Replies: 3786
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Created on : Friday, October 26, 2007, 02:49:00 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 10/29/07) Fraud. lies. conspiracy. They may sound like the latest Washington scandal, but these are allegations of exes at war over child support. Dr. Phil's guests claim they became victims of the perfect crime when they were led to believe they fathered a child that was not biologically their own and were forced to pay. First up, Enrique says he was shocked and angered to discover he was not the father of his youngest daughter, Selina, and that she was conceived during his ex-wife, Maria's, adulterous affair. Maria says he raised Selina but then abandoned her to save money. Why does Maria say Enrique's current wife is to blame for the fractured relationship? Next, 13-year-old Selina speaks one on one with Dr. Phil. Will she decide to let the man she once called Daddy back in her life? Then, Carnell Smith, who uses the online moniker, "Man4Justice," suffered a similar fate to Enrique, and but he fought and won. He says he's tired of seeing women trap men and get away with it. A heated debate ensues between him and feminist attorney, Gloria Allred, who argues that men like Enrique should continue to act as the father ... and continue paying! Talk about the show here.


Find out what happened on the show.


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October 28, 2007, 7:06 am CDT

That's Not How I took this.

Quote From: jelebean1

Are you saying it is more the woman's responsibility to provide and take care of the child?

What I ready here was, that a Women does know 100% if a Man is the Father or 100% that he may not be the Father..

 

And the poor  guy, only has the "thought" that he is the father..

 

This situation does not take a rock scientist to figure out..

 
October 28, 2007, 7:31 am CDT

What a shame!!

Women who cheat during a marriage or relationship and know that there is a possibility that the child conceived during the affair could be another man's have a responsibility to determine paternity. This is not only for child support purposes but for the father and the child as well. I could not imagine the pain of thinking that I am the father of a child for years and then find out I am not. Although I am sure I would still love the child , it would be hard for me to think that I am still financially responsible. I think that if I was still with the mother..yes I would continue to support the child. If i was no longer with the mother I would have a real problem supporting another man's child..where is the real father??? He needs to step up and start paying for the child that he helped create!!

 
October 28, 2007, 7:47 am CDT

wrong choices women and men make

I happen to disagree with women that have baby's out of wedlock and happen to sleep around with several men. nless you truly know who the father is don't make just one of the men pay childsupport for he baby. The women needs to find all the men she slept with an have a DNA test done. Then go after the real father.

Don't trap the wrong father into paying for a child that isn't their's.

 

Doesn't this world have enough problems without children being hurt because of stupid choices that women and men make!

 
October 28, 2007, 11:52 am CDT

Let them pay back all the money with interest

Quote From: princess1

Women who pass their kids off as someone else's should be ashamed of themselves.  It is women like that who make it hard for women like me.  My ex husband has been denying our 18 year old son since before he was born.  Never mind that I have always been willing to have my son tested.  He is over $20.000 behind in child support and hasn't seen my son in 11 years.  I thank God for my current husband; a real man who has taken on the responsibility of being my son's "dad".
I know of a simular situation in South Africa, this man paid for eigth year child support and then found out that he was not the bio farther. The court decided the woman must pay back all the money with interest.
 
October 28, 2007, 1:11 pm CDT

Child Support

I find it unfair  the majority of the states have adopted legislation which allows mothers (generally) to force anyone they have been married to pay child support on children which aren't theirs. For instance, the current father of my children will pay support. If I remarry and divorce again, the father of the children as well as that ex will have to pay support, and so on. I was shocked to discover this on a Montel show. Washington state has this rule. Don't believe me? Check it out! It was true a couple of years ago, and Washington state enforces it! It doesn't matter if the child's father pays support or not!
 
October 28, 2007, 1:45 pm CDT

In Colorado

Here in Colorado, unless one of the parents request DNA check early on in the proceedings, it doesn't matter if the child is his or not if he has been acting in the role of father.  Also even if the test result come back that he is not the child's father, he may still be ordered to continue in the role of father and pay support or seek custody or whatever, he has rights.  I think a lot of this would be determined on how old the child is at the time of the divorce, how long he has been in a position of a providing male figure model to the child.
 
October 28, 2007, 2:00 pm CDT

Everyone should have a choice

 Dr. Phil,

I am upset that this had to be a topic for your show.  I believe everyone should have a choice as to if they want to be responsible for someone else's child.  I am such a child, I was raised by my aunt and uncle and they provided me with financial and emotional support.  My biological mother was always in the picture but not my father.  The man I consider my father was amazing and he taught many valuable lesson in life, but it was his choice to be a father to me.  To this day I consider him the most amazing father a girl can have.  Women who trick men into being a parent make it bad for the rest of us.  Men as well as women should be given the opportunity to make that choice for themselves, to force someone to take on that responsibility is cruel and cowardice.

In the end the children suffer and why would you put a child through that?  What values are you teaching children?  In a society that is in the toilet as it is how can we expect our children to be honest and responsible if we live by deception.   Women don't do the deed and hide behind your skirt, be woman enough to face the consequences of your actions.
 
October 28, 2007, 6:00 pm CDT

DITTO

Quote From: tanyachapman1

 Dr. Phil,

I am upset that this had to be a topic for your show.  I believe everyone should have a choice as to if they want to be responsible for someone else's child.  I am such a child, I was raised by my aunt and uncle and they provided me with financial and emotional support.  My biological mother was always in the picture but not my father.  The man I consider my father was amazing and he taught many valuable lesson in life, but it was his choice to be a father to me.  To this day I consider him the most amazing father a girl can have.  Women who trick men into being a parent make it bad for the rest of us.  Men as well as women should be given the opportunity to make that choice for themselves, to force someone to take on that responsibility is cruel and cowardice.

In the end the children suffer and why would you put a child through that?  What values are you teaching children?  In a society that is in the toilet as it is how can we expect our children to be honest and responsible if we live by deception.   Women don't do the deed and hide behind your skirt, be woman enough to face the consequences of your actions.
What values are we teaching our children when it's legal to lie? I agree with you that it's cowardice and very cruel. If you are not the father and you were decieved into supporting a child that's not your's - you should be off the hook and have money plus interest paid back. It bothers me that honest women pay the price for the deception. These women who cheat and lie and tie up the courts for their own greedy purposes need to be put in jail....they have no place in our society!
 
October 28, 2007, 6:43 pm CDT

10/29 Parent Trap

Okay, this is a teaser, one way to get us to watch.

If from day ONE he KNEW he wasn't the Father, but chose to raise the child give him/her his name and raise them anyway, then DON'T cry foul when and if you end up divorced.

From what I've read though, she LIED to him throughout th child's life.  Now that's a tough call.

So how in the world and really I want to KNOW THIS, does a man go from loving a child enough to raise her to thirteen, to suddenly not giving a damn whether she has what she needs or not, just because she dosen't share his DNA ?  He helped raise her, I assume (maybe rather presumptuos of me), he loved her as his daughter, then he's getting divorced, has a new wife/girlfriend and now the child is out in the cold from the only father she's EVER known, and she at thirteen is probably very confused herself as to why Dady suddenly dosen't love her anymore, she'll look for love from other men though Enrique or Mom, don't worry she'll find it in all the wrong places.

Mom should have come clean from the start, I don't and never would dispute that.  Mom should have never gone outside the marriage, no arguments here, however, how do you JUSTIFY cutting a child out of your life because of a stupid thing her Mother did, especially when you RAISED her as your own, and LOVED her as your own, does that mean Men are capable of turning LOVE on and off like a faucet to suit their own needs ?  I really don't belive that.

I really want to see this, I want to hear BOTH sides, but one thing I am sure of, the girl is suffering, and I HOPE her "Parents" are happy in the knowledge that she is the one who will suffer most.

 
October 28, 2007, 7:25 pm CDT

So sad

 This is so sad on so many levels.  It was bad enough the mother wasn't honest from the beginning & then the father had to go & add fuel to a fire, in my opinion what he did was far worse than what the mother did. because his actions resulted in the immediate life altering emotional scarring of the poor girl. I understand the chain of events that it was the mother that "started it" but he had a CHOICE & that was to cool off, blow some steam. ..think things over & rise above it & do the right thing so that this child wouldn't have to suffer ANYMORE than she was already going to be. he had a choice. & he chose to think emotionally, he rebelled. he wanted to HURT his ex & instead he used the daughter as his target little did he know what infact HE was starting.

I disagree with Gloria Allred this is infact a regular occuring issue in this country. It is sad that people just have no sense of morals anymore. its all about just getting pregnant for whatever reason & just being out right irresponsible. if it gets to be a bigger problem. .to protect men .. maybe they should institute a law where ALL WOMEN have to go under paternity testing of who they think are the fathers of their children, its easy.. it would either be a few guys or just "the one" & also think with such a law women would be more inclined to use birth control or how about just "waiting" I do agree with the men side of this that at some point they should not be held accountable if they have been victimized. on the other hand, if the said father has greatly bonded with the said child. . then to me that puts a different light on the situation. because then it goes beyond child support. then it becomes the emotional & mental well being of the said child. I think in cases like this the men should be free & clear to not pay child support anymore HOWEVER it would need to be made clear to them that they do have an emotional responsibility to the child because that child is attacthed to that man. so..  maybe no child support but with continued visitation. but then you have the dad's that did the un think able like in this case where he takes the child to a park & tells all. like she has any control over any of it. she didn't ask to be born she didn't get to pick her parents. as far as I am concerned maybe he should pay child support. . but instead .... call it "Pain & suffering" for what he has put that little girl through for no good reason other than an attempt to hurt his ex. & it has now had a dominoe effect his own blook daughter doesn't want much to do with him. Can you blame her! thats her little sister. REGARDLESS of whos is mommy or daddy. I don't blame her. he's lucky I am not his daughter, he thinks he hurt my sister. .. .let me tell you. . he would have LOST ALL relationships with ALL kids. How 'bout them apples. this just burns me up how the kids got the worst of it. & all they want to do is argue over a lousy couple of hundred dollars a month. lets see. .  ."childs life" Vs "Money"  hmm. .. "God/God's child vs. money"   & his little attack on his ex. . christianly speaking. . . .. .We ALL SIN. & ALL sins are equal in the eyes of God. she may have committed adultrey & lied, but EVERYONE breaks one or more commandment EVERYDAY. .we all do. .... .even HIM. . .  he aint no Angel either I am sure. "He who hath not sinned cast the first stone" he may not ever committed adultrey but I am sure he "sins" in other ways & that is as equal as whatever sins she has committed. & I am sure there is not a day goes by she is asking God for forgiveness, as so should HE. . doing what he did do his said daughter. he's one to talk. anyway. .. . .I am done there is no real solution to this. not unless they implement laws that protect men. but in the eyes of the law it is not about the men or women it is about the best interest of the child.
 
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