Topic : 12/25 Parent Trap

This show's moral objective was not to bash men or women.  It is not about taking sides, about who was right and who was wrong....( there are two sides to every story, and then somewhere in the middle is the truth) It is time for everyone to realize the social responsibility we all have to raise a child.  It is time for people to realize that in life, for every action there is a reaction.  What you teach your child today (maybe your swearing at your spouse, flipping the bird at another driver, or drinking too much or smoking without a care),  they will learn all that you offer,  whether you are aware of reality or not, they will become the product of your teachings.  The cycle begins....

I can't fathom anyone treating a child worse then an animal, leaving it aside because they no longer can support it or care for it.  Children don't love your DNA....they just LOVE you and want to be loved.

Monday, October 29, 2007

Dear Dr. Phil ~  Please encourage these couples to stop inflicting such pain on this dear child.  She told YOU exactly what she was willing to do with her father and that was to take tiny steps back toward a relationship with him.  Bless her heart for protecting herself by sharing that she could no longer and likely would never know the trust she once had in their relationship. You spend many shows encouraging women twice and three times her age to let go and move on from damaging relationships.

Related to the mother and father ~ the past is the past.  Certainly she was deceptive by not sharing her infidelity but he was evil and spiteful for drawing their daughter into their issues.  The mother at least continued to care for her daughter no matter who the biological father proved to be.  The only man that this little girl  ever knew as her dad chose to share age inappropriate information with her for his own reasons.  That alone caused irrepairable damage to her but in addition he proved to her that she had such little value in his life that it was no longer his responsibility to support her. He is lucky she is even willing to call him by his first name or give him the time of day. 

He should do one of two things:  1.  Pay any back child support he owes and remain on the birth certificate as her legal father while making baby steps back into her life.

OR 2.  Allow her mother's husband to adopt and raise her and the man she knew as her father can take his chances like anyone else at redeeming himself in her eyes and maybe becoming a cherished friend.

Adults often have to do things that they don't want to do.  This immature man doesn't have the right to be a parent if he can not put the child's needs before his own.

Respectfully,

LRRJOY

 I feel that the mother in the show contributed to the distress of the little girl by not only continuing to lie to her and her husband but also by letting the little girl focus all theblame on the man.  She should take responsiblility by telling and appologizing to the daughter as well.  The husband should fight the monetary part but continue to visit and love the little girl.

The Lady In Red just shouted on and on, interrupting, talking over the other guest.  It would have been useful for someone to have stopped her and challenged her logic.  Hiding behind "it is best for the child" suggests it is fine for women to tell their richest boyfriend he is the father- the kid will get more support- whether he is the father or not. 

The notion that Enrique should continue paying child support is ludicrous. 

I would advise Selina to be grateful for the love and the financial support he gave her during her childhood.  I'd tell her that he made a big mistake in the way he told her- but that people make mistakes, especially when they are angry.  She got caught in the crossfire and was badly hurt.  That was one incident. His behavior over the years is a better window into his character, and a better clue as to whether she should reconcile with him.

Selina has an opportunity to learn the healing that can come with empathy- to put herself in his shoes, think about how hurt and angry he was to find she was not his daughter.  Perhaps his behavior- REALLY BAD behavior- is not unforgivable.  She can't look for the old relationship- that would have changed as she aged anyhow.  If he was a good Dad and he wants to create a NEW relationship... well love is rare, not something you can buy at the corner store.