Topic : 12/25 Parent Trap

unbelievable that she (ms allred) again found an opportunity to get publicity and her mug on the airwaves again. did she know what she was coming there for? she sounded like a true imbecile. had no idea what she was talking about , and did a poor job of being an imbecile. i was so very enraged when the subject was almost solely about hat the father did wrong and how this was his responsibility. there was no halo over the mothers head yesterday today or tomorrow. the blame , fault , and responsibility lies on that mothers shoulders! she has the explaining to do!!!!! the question kept coming up that HE should have done a paternity test ! what? its not a one night stand were talking about here it was a marriage!!!! my advice ? the mother needs to sit down with her biological daughter and tell her that all this mess is her fault , apologize to the " father" hunt down the true father  and then return all the money that she swindled for all those years!!!!!!!

stepping off my soapbox now.....and thanks for reading

I cannot believe Dr. Phil would endorse what Gloria Alred said.  The person who is responsible for hurting the children is their mother.  SHE LIED!  I am so tired of women getting away with this.  Any woman who knowingly decieves a man into thinking he is the father of a child when he truly is not is fraud.  These women should be held accountable and should be prosecuted.  They should be made to reimburse the man who has been lied to.  The man should be able to continue to be in the child's life if they (the father and child) choose to stay in each other's lives.  If we as a society continue to allow this deception to continue we are teaching our children that it is ok to lie and deceive people, and that it's ok because there are no legal repercussions.  It is so hippocritical to allow this to say money isn't the issue.  Well if it isn't (MS. Alred) men who find themselves in this situation should not have to pay one red cent to the mother. I am a wife and mother, and I would not for one minute, decieve my children or my husband in this manner.  It is so wrong!!!!!  All this woman did was begin her daughter's life with one of the greatest deceptions and hurt her entire family.  She needs to take responsibility period!!!!!!

I am a child support worker.  The main information that we enact on is the information the mother or applicant for services provides. We then petition the court for an order for child support, medical support and child care support and/or enforce the order that has already been established.  The main goal of this is what is in the Best Interest of the Child and yes that includes financial support.  HOWEVER, the most important role of either parent is the safety and well being and yes financial support for the child(ren)and that includes  the honesty of the parents.  How can a parent teach a child to become a well rounded adult when the mother starts the child's life out by lying to the child foremost by not informing them of the real truth.  Has she thought how the biological father might feel not knowing he has a child? Has she thought of the importance of a child knowing her true background in case a medical issue could arise in the future where she might need to have a blood match or organ match?  I agree that when a mother births a child and is fraudulent there needs to be ramifications.  Gloria Allbred is so wrong there is emotions attached to the parent that  was held up as the father and then the slap in the face that he isn't and then yes the money also is an issue.  We have all kinds of ramifications for the dad that isn't paying-but what about the mom that lies or withholds the truth?????  Stepparents accept the children as their own, but they aren't legally  financially responsible to support them by court order because of it  so why should a man that was named as a father by the woman and is proven not to be by genetic testing?  It is so wrong to everyone and those poor kids who suffer because of the selfishness of the mother.  It is more common than Ms Gloria admits. One more comment, once you are a Legal Father, it is very difficult to get that overturned.

...when the woman was fully AWARE that the child may not belong to the man that she identified as the father.  It is a vicious lie that is perpetrated by  women everyday. It ruins lives.  Primarily the lives of the innocent children who had no say in the matter.  Women like her give us all a bad name.  I think the "father" should continue the relationship with the child and provide support to her as he sees fit.  He can buy that child anything she wants, spend time with her, take her on vacations, have visitation, love her uncionditionally and be a father to her without handing his hard earned money to a woman that chose to lie to him. 

 

Child support is intended for the child but is rarely spent on them in its entirety.  My husband's *baby's mama* called us  to tell us how she used child support payments to buy her 18yo daughter (from a previous relationship) a car $5000 and herself a $500 camera.  That money was intended to suport the child that he *believes* is his but who knows??? We can't afford paternity tests.  We have no means to facilitate a relationship with her bc we barely have the money to get back and forth to work and they moved over 8 hours away from us without telling us that they were leaving.  We had no idea where they were until we were hit with child support almost 5 years later.  Plenty of time to build up a significant amount of arrears.  When she did start to receive the money she not only got his taxes but also an additional $400 a month.    The mother is untouchable and never held responsible for her actions in creating a life.  It is often assumed that her intentions were honorable when they really were not.  The mother in our case stated repeatedly to every one that would listen that she was sterile.  Due to her *advanced* age he assumed that she was telling the truth.  Arent' you suppoed to be able to trust the person you are in a relationship with???? What was he supposed to do??? Take her to the doctor to to get medical verification of her inability to conceive???    Currently we support our family of five on $200 a week due to excessive child support payments. 

 

The biological father should be held financially responsible.  Does he now owe 13 years of child support arrears?? Can she get support from both men???  These women often live *high on the hog* (not only do they receive child support but also welfare, food stamps, medicaid, etc)  leaving the man unable to support himself or even children from a present or previous relationship.  That woman chose to do what she did knowing full and well what the end result might be.   It's time for her to finally face the music.  She owes an awful lot of people a lot more than they owe her. 

 I live in the state of Missouri and the law here is that if you are married at the time of the childs birth you are the childs legal parent and resposible for that child. I do not agree with this law because it is a PARENT TRAP for the men.

 I have a 27 year old son that is not the biological son of my ex but my ex knew that he was not his biological father and still took on the resposibility of being his dad. The difference is my EX KNEW and he made the decision to raise our son. This lady should be held liable for trapping him as should all women that don't diclose the true paternity of the father before the birth of the child.

I think if the father has been there for the child for the past ten emotionally, physically and financially and it was not a problem until he remarried.Then it should not be a problem now if he truly thinks of her as his daughter and as that unconditional love for her.  I do think the mom was wrong for her actions but part of being a father is being there for your children in every why. It should not matter weather on paper or biologically if the child is yours, you should want to be there emotionally, physically and financially. Yes I feel sorry for the father but for ten years this was his daughter and he no problem supporting her. Nothing should change that!!!!!

You said everything that I was planning on saying. I have a feeling the same thing is happening to my husband. He really doesn't believe his 16 year old "son" is really his but he feels that it's hopeless to try to get anything done. I feel every child is entitled to know who their biological parents are. My husband's ex sits there on her fat lazy bedonkeydonk with her hand out, plus she's remarried and teaches her son to be the same way. All he ever wants to know is whatcha gonna buy me????? I am now disabled, trying to live off disability, we're over here starving and a good portion of my husband's paycheck is going for a child that is so obviously not his. This world makes me sick. I raised my own two sons on my own. I didn't want the drama of all the child support mess and they turned out better for it. And I always told them if they wanted tosee their father they could any time though they chose not to.

We have a little different situation, but I thought I would share. My husband adopted his ex wife's child when my husband was only 18 years old. He fathered this child for a while. This child knew him as his father and noone else. The mother told my husband's family the day the adoption was final that if they ever divorced she would get child support. She knew what she was doing. It was only a year later, she had an internet affair. She wanted a divorce. My husband was stuck paying child support on this child because he was the legal father. Once me and him married, the mother was angry when we were expecting our first child together she told the boy that was not his real father. She then let the boy meet his biological father and have vistations. So needless to say, my husband pays child support and has no vistation. The boy visits his biological father. My husband pays child support, but has no say in medical decisions. The mother just had braces put on the boy's teeth which cost $5,000 dollars, the judge is making my husband pay half. This mother can do whatever she wants, but my husband has no say so. The boy had insurance that would cover braces if they were needed and not cosmetic. But the insurance company said it was cosmetic. We have learned to deal with it,but it has been a struggle. It is sad men get trapped into these situations. I wish there was a law to protect them. We have fought so much on this case, but there is nothing we can do.

If you had raised a child for 9 years, loved him/her, cared for him/her, would it really matter to you after 9 years if they were biologically yours? I am totally putting aside Maria's behavior which really doesn't matter in my eyes. This guy shouldn't give a crap. He shouldn't have even gotten a test!! For all intents and purposes, Selina was/is his daughter. And if you love and care for her emotionally, you should WANT to do so financially. You should want to make sure she has what she needs. After that long, the issue is moot. He's a real SOB. He calls the older one his daughter, but not Selina. It's not just a matter of the money, he doesn't even want to be a part of this litle girl's life, even if he doesn't have to pay. What a total and utter jerk!! If he ever cared about his daughter, he would never be able to turn his back on her. And what, are they supposed to track down the biological dad after 9 years and say, oh you have a kid, and oh you owe a whole bunch of money. That is absurd. Maria might be a liar, but Enrique has absolutely no integrity. He aught to be ashamed of himself!!!

Some women don't deserve children. I also know a man in these shoes. His daughter was 15 when the truth came out. And it was all about the money with the mother. When she finally told the truth was when she could collect the real father's SSI. The real father never got to know his only child. He died of cancer. The mother never told the real father because he would have taken the girl away from her. The father had money and could have done that. This girl went through the first 6 years of her life thinking one man was her father then she was told another was her father, then when the DNA was done it was a third guy. The second guy got custody of her and raised her for 9  yrs. Needless to say this child (young lady) is very confused and angry.  First of all she never got to know her father, then the man who raised her has anger toward the mother so he takes it out on her. She does not want to have anything to do with her mother. This woman has 5 kids and come to find out 3 different dads. Yet no one knew any of this until recently. The oldest is 25. The other 2 kids still don't know who their dad is. Two do know, cause of DNA and he raised them from birth. I think this kind of woman should be punished. The mental damage she does to a child with this is wordless.