Topic : 12/25 Parent Trap

Dr. Phil, I have been married for 14 years and have 3 children ages 10, 6 & 5.  If for some reason I found out one or all were not mind there is no way I could love them less than I do now. There is also no way I could expect or would want to receive the money I have invested in them back. I also do not feel like I should be responsible to legally support them anymore but I think most men would still want to support the children he has raised. I also do not understand how the gentleman, Carnell Smith, was forced to pay child support after he proved the child was not his. As for, high-profile feminist attorney Gloria Allred , I think her title says enough for her.  I didn't hear anything she said that was relevent to this show. Yes, there is alot a dead beat Dads, but the few Dads that were wronged by a these types of woman should not have to pay the price.  I think it all comes down to the motives of each individual. If the woman knowingly framed a man I think she should be held accountable, but if the man paid child support for 1 day or 10 years I don't think he should expect any money back as he should also be held accountable to knowing if he fathered a child.

Best Regards

 I absolutely agree with you! Hospitals should take a DNA test right after birth of each child regardless if the parents are married or not! That is a simple solution! The law is totaly for women only! My husband has a child from a previous marriage and has been paying child support for 11 years now. Don't get me wrong I think he should be obligated to help support her but why should the man have to pay a huge amount each month plus provide food,clothing,toys,etc when the child is at his house. I think it should be evaluated on his participation in the child's life and what he is paying for and providing at his home. Plus when mom gets remarried then there is now the mother and a stepfather in the home providing for the child so shouldn't they evaluate that compared to dad and his income?!?! Then dad gets remarried and has more children and the state doesn't care if he can support his children living in the home all the time they only care about the first wife being supported and the first child being supported that already has two other people supporting them! It is all rediculous they don't give a crap about the father and his family living in his home! In the case of this family I think that the little girl needs to get help in undestanding that the mother was the one in the wrong!

There should be a law against a mother for lying paternity of a child.  Our children are growing up in a world full of lies, greed, and hate. I think problems like these are what is causing most of our problems in this world.  What have the children done to deserve this pain?  Shame on Maria and all mothers who do this to their children.

While watching today’s show, my life was displayed.  I am the product of an affair during my mother's marriage to my legal father.  Their marriage was turbulent which led to my mother seeking companionship outside their marriage.  In 1961, my mother and my biological father chose (meaning she was planned) to have my sister.  After my sister’s birth, my mother chose to give my sister my legal father’s (my mother’s husband) last name.  My mother states that my legal father questioned paternity, but that is all that happened.  Seven years later after several break-ups, my mother and legal father legally separated.  My mother and my biological father (my sister and I have the same father) decided to have another child, and I was conceived.  At the time of my birth, my legal father took my mother to the hospital and signed his name on my birth certificate (just as he did my sister), knowing that neither I nor my sister are his children.

During my childhood, I always knew that I was not my legal father’s child.  He and I never developed a closeness and I always wondered why.  I later found out that my legal father was too scared that I might develop a relationship with my biological father, and my legal father would be emotionally hurt– for my legal father, it was just easier to love me from a distance, and he did.  My legal father was always a provider for me and my sister – all our material needs were taken care of.  My biological father never stayed around long enough – also from fear of getting hurt by my mother and my legal father.

During my early 20’s, the relationship between my legal father and I changed.  I don’t recall the need, but it was necessary that I visit my legal father at his job. I asked him, “when I arrive at your job, what am I to say that you are to me?” and he responded, “tell them that I am your father – you’re my daughter”.  Tears welled in my eyes, because for the first time in my life, I felt like I had a father – and every since then, he has not been my legal father, he is my dad.

I am now 39 years old and I am the primary caregiver for my dad who is dying from Alzheimer’s – he is in the final stage.  I could not see life any other way than the way it is right now – me taking care of him.  For over twenty years, my dad cared for me and loved me as if I were his own.  I know there were days that he looked at me and saw my biological father, but he continued to provide for me and love me in his own way. 

So watching today’s show was very emotional for me because although my circumstances are very similar to the guest on your show, my experience has been extremely different.  My dad showed me love – unconditionally.  To my knowledge, he never fought my mother about paternity or child support, and in turn, my mother never demanded him to do it – he just loved me because I did nothing wrong – I am the product of an affair.

 I am forever thankful for my dad, because he is and was the father I thought I never had.

In Oklahoma City