Topic : 12/25 Parent Trap

I just finished watching the program of "Parent Trap".  I have my own personal opinion about how Enrique could have handled it and how it really should be handled.  What he did with taking her to the park and telling his daughter (yes his daughter because he was there for her birth and beyond.  I have been married twice and with my second marriage I have a step daughter that I call my own and have been there for her since she was 3yrs old) that he wasn't the biological father.  The mother is really responsible for the whole situation because in the beginning of the show when Enrique said that he was telling his ex that he was going to get a paternity test and she "then" broke down and cried and told him the truth tells all of us that was watching the show that she knew the whole time that he ''wasn't" the father.  I feel that he should pay child support but to a certain degree and Selena's Mother should pursue the biological father on the point to find out if this man wants to at least know that, "Hey, remember 13 years ago when we slept together, I got pregnant and this is your daughter."  I believe by law Enrique is obligated but now that the truth is out all that is responsible should own up.

The only way to keep this from becoming a personal battle is for the courts to require DNA test in all cases of support. Possibly making only those individuals that sign waviers with council present, excempt.

This comes from a father who was tricked into adopting a child only to have the mother file for divorice months later. And yes I felt used as I knew that it was to get more support from me than the previous father was paying.

I also had a child with this mother who regularly cheated. I and now that my daughter is older we have discussed that there could be a chance that we are not related but chose not to know.

I do think that everyones circumstances are different and there is no one answer. I chose to pay support and be my daughters father but I do have trouble thinking that if there is NO punishment for mother who have misrepresented who the father is. This only encourages them to identify the man with the deepest pocket without recourse.

I agree wholeheartedly with you on that topic.

If the woman during her marriage, has been unfaithful, and as a result of that she had a child, she has the moral obligation to share this information with her husband, regardless of her feelings or lack thereof for her husband at this point. Face it, if she was in love with her husband she probably wouldn't have cheated on him. I see women all over that think it's ok to cheat as long as they don't get caught.... I personally don't know how they can live with themselves, knowing that they're not only putting themselve in sexual danger of any STDs out there, but also their husbands, who hopefully care for the family materially.

If the woman knowingly declares her husband as the father of the child, although she is almost 100% certain that he is not, there should be legal ramifications for that. If the husband raised this child as his own for several years, there are emotional, relationships, love, trust formed between the child and him and this should continue no matter what. The child CANNOT be put in the middle of a dispute between 2 adults. The child didn't ask to be born into this situation. The child can't be held responsible for the lack of responsibility of an adult.

As far as the DNA test and the law is considered, there should be the possibility for the husband to be released from direct financial responsibility toward the mother of the child, but he will still be responsible for the DAD figure for the child, that should never change. There should be a stipulation that from the time of discovery there should be 2 years that the paternity suit should be filed. This would give all parties concerned ample time to discuss and think about their goals and all possible outcomes.

I'd suggest that the mother should seek financial support from the real biological father, if she still rembers him, and if not, oh well.

The (ex)husband should not be held financially responsible, although I think it would be a good deed for him if he were to establish a trustfund for the child and until the dispute is clarified, the child support per se should go into this trustfund (could be used later on as college money if he and the child decide to do so).

The (ex)husband needs to continue his relationship with his child, because he's the only Dad this child ever met and associated with.  Her refusal to be adopted by her mother's new husband shows me that there are deep seated trust issues and fear that this child is dealing with towards men. No child should EVER have to deal with this. WE as adults are responsible for the well-being of our children - well-being means all around, financially, emotionally, mentally, etc. If we can't vow this to our children, we ought to not have any.

I thought it was quite interesting that Gloria Allred attempted to change the slant of the discussion to try and garner audience support--what she really was doing was side stepping the issue.

I don't think anyone can question that the children's well being is paramount here.  It truly is--End of discussion.

Personally, I feel that there is definitely an emotional component to this and a true gentleman would step up and continue to be a positive contributor to the child's life and emotional well being. Especially after a long period of time serving as the child's parent. But that is my opinion.  

The next part of this debate is: Should the non-biological father have to pay child support for a child fathered by another man.  In my mind the answer is quite obvious. NO!  The biological father should be paying support and it should be the mother's responsibility to pursue that. The person who was duped into paying support should be totally off the hook and I feel that he should be entitled to receive compensation from the mother for any child support paid if he is willing to pursue it legally. 

Can you imagine what Gloria Allred would ask for her client if the shoe was on the other foot?!!!

MMcMahon

p.s. Yes I am in a similar situation--I am helping to raise a fine young boy who was fathered by another man. I am no longer with the mother but still continue to be the boy's father...His mother has suggessted that she could 'go after me for support'!  I was livid! She is already collecting support from the boy's biological father! Now she wants money from me too! 

My boy does not yet kow the truth but his mother and I are planning on telling him in the near future.