Topic : 12/25 Parent Trap

First and most important is that Henrique dealt with Selina the wrong way.  He should have never let his daughter down the way he did.  I don't think he is a malicious person just very hurt.  He should have definitely made sure that she knew about this but done it in a way that Selina felt safe and would have the help needed to deal with this situation.

The thing that bugs me about this whole thing is that Maria has not only victimized Henrique but she has victimized Selina and her biological father as well.  She has taken away the opportunity for Selina and her biological father to have a relationship for the first 10+ years of her life by keeping this a secret.  I think that what she did was horrible and I feel that she is getting away with it with barely a slap on the wrist.

I also agree that Henrique should not have to be forced into child support if he had no knowledge of Selina not being his biological child.  He should however support her financially being that he played the role of a father for many years but it should be his choice as to how and how much and hopefully he will do the honourable thing.  This is fraud and Maria filled out a goverment document knowing that she could be filling it out with the wrong information when she could have easily found out the right information.

When my son was stationed in Colorado, he met a girl, he thought was a sweet woman. She said she was separated from her husband, and she had 2 children. The relationship with our son was very stormy but when she said she was pregnant again, my son was thrilled. Before the baby was born, she threw him out and then he had to go back to Iraq. When he was home for a short 2 week leave after the baby was born, they reconnected and upon our (his parents) insistance, a DNA test was performed on all parties. It confirmed the baby was his and he was ecstatic.

Before he left, he gave her his ATM card and she spent over $10,000 in one month, shortly after he had bought everything the baby needed, filled her pantry and bought new furnishings, spending $4,000 in less than 2 weeks. After he found out about the spending, he terminated the ATM card and she broke up with him. She reunited with her husband, somehow with all that money, was evicted from their apartment and has disappeared after threatening my son with reporting him to the military if he tried to contact her. Gee, he wants to see his child, but now she claims that she never got the report from the hospital. Of course that's not true, there is a signed receipt from the post office.

We, his parents, who live far from Colorado, are trying to find her and using all means, but these are people who do not leave paper trails. Her husband believes her, or chooses to, so there is no way he can say someday that he "didn't know" who is the child's father.

My son is coming home from Iraq (he spent over 12 months there the first time and 15 months this time) and is determined to find his child. So, not all dads are deadbeats and some want to be a father to their children more than anything else in the entire world. We have never met our grandchild and wonder if we will. It is a lose/lose situation so far, but hopefully it will change. So...imagine if you're in Iraq and basically hog-tied from doing anything!

How awful is it to bond with a child under any circumstance?  Gee, it must have really been a sacrifice for Enrique to have to bond with Selena - I'm sure there is no way you can love a child that isn't biologically "yours".  Maybe he should be grateful that he had the opportunity to be a positive force in a child's life.  Too bad he screwed it up!

MY husband s x also had many afairs before he left her and then we had 5 girls together and because he was married to her and she gave the child his last name we paid for her till she was 18 and to this day still have to wonder if she is his or not !!! We sure could have used all that money to raise our girls .

  mad 2nd wife

This disturbs me greatly.  I actually work with an organization in canada the oversees and enforces child support.  In our court system, child support is awarded without a paternity test (esp when there was a marriage), but if the father comes back with a paternity test that shows he is not the father, the order is terminated.  The only time a non-biologocal father is held responsible is when he has legally adopted the child in question.

This woman lied to her (now ex) husband about the possibility of someone else being the father, she lied to her child, and if she had fessed up sooner, that little girl wouldn't be suffering the way she is now.  And to make matters worse, she is now probably wondering who her father is.  Where is he???  Why is he not being held responsible?

Its sad that he has stopped visitation with her, but at least he seems to have some remorse over it.

It is so wrong for women to allow men to think that they are the father to children that do not belong to them.  I don't think that these men should be forced to pay child support for kids they did not father.  I think that once they find out they are not the father, it should be the man's choice to decide whether to continue the support or not.  I think some how, some way the mother should be held accountable. 

It seems like the law is set up for women that lie and make bad choices.  I needed some assistance when I had my son, his father (my fiancee was living 2 hours away).  I needed help while I was on maternity leave, because I lived in an apartment alone and I needed to pay the rent.  However, the lady told me in order to receive any type of help I had to file child support on my son's father and she said the money they gave me to help with my rent, would not have to be paid back by me, but they would have to go after the father for the money.  This was absurd to me.  I told the lady that I was engaged and he takes care of this child and that I only needed help for a few months.  Sad thing is people told me before I went there that I need to lie about my son's father.  They told me I would not receive help if I told the truth and they were right.  I just could not bring myself to lie, that is so wrong.  I feel like women that are honest and try to do right get the bad end of the stick.