Topic : 12/25 Parent Trap

You're saying Enrique has no integrity.  Did you miss the fact that Maria screwed another man while they were married and lied about him being the father!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!    But for her actions, none of the other stuff would have happened!  PERIOD!   The adults that partake in making a child should be the adults responsible for that child.  Granted, Enrique's handling of the information was bad, but I understand that he was full of rage, disappointment, betrayal, etc.   He was a victim too, in case you missed that as well.   I see where both sides messed up royally.  Don' t you?  I don't see how people can dismiss the lying, cheating wife and come down with no empathy on the man that's not even the father.   How can you think a man has no right to know if a child is his?  He shouldn't have taken the test, you say????  You must be a lying cheating wife yourself to "totally put aside Maria's behavior!"  Rediculous!!!!!!

The mother in today's episode should be completely ashamed of what she has done to this man and her child. Enrique upon learning that Selina was not his biological child should have handled the situation different than he did. Sure he may have been emotionally crushed after learning that his ex-wife lied to him for as long as she did but he should handled it different. I can't believe this woman had the nerve to blame all of this on Enrique's new wife. None of them would have been on Dr Phil if she weren't such a liar. And I neither can believe how this Gloria Allred can go on national television and claim that it is still Enrique's responsibility to pay child support even though it's been proven that he is not Selina's biological father. 

 

My husband and I have been married for 17 yrs, we don't have any children, but I used to tell him what I considered "little white lies", then about 9 yrs ago I told him a lie about something really insignificant. Today I don't even remember what it was I lied to him about that day but I know the intense guilt I felt was incredible. I thought about the whole situation for a couple hours then had a heart to heart talk with my husband and came clean about what i had told him. I explained why I lied and assured him it would never happen again and it hasn't. I don't understand how someone can consciously lie to someone that they supposedly love and keep doing it without thinking of the consequenses.

i agree!

 

He should not have to pay one cent of child support and all the money he has paid the ex-wife should have to pay back to him. She is the one who lied. If she wants child support then she should go after the biological father. It doesn't matter how long she lied to him he is not the father and should not pay any support for a child who is not his.

Because my husband has been shelling out $1000/mo for a boy whose mother was married to him less than a year, cleaned out his savings, ran up his credit cards, left and now reruses him visitation (for the last 10 years). I am supposedly this kid's stepmother and I've never even met him. Our marriage is wrecked by this whole thing. Women who pass her kids off as someone else's should not only be ashamed of themselves, they should be incarcerated!!

 

My husband's ex has refused to submit to a DNA test, defied five court orders to provide information about him to our attorney and the court system of Clarksville, Indiana and getw away with it. She also missed two court dates. She has never worked, told my husband she was a nurse practitioner who would be making $60,000/yr before they got married and then told him she couldn't find a job after they were married. We found out later that her nursing license had been yanked before she ever met him. This is fraud at it's utmost.

 

I, on the other hand, am infertile and never had children. It doesn't take brains to procreate. Few see the world from my perspective. My last husband abandoned me after nine years of marriage during which I endured four surgeries, an ectopic pregnancy that almost killed me, fertility drugs, shots, ultrasounds, blood tests until I was exhausted. The fertility drugs altered my personality and made me manic. When my ex couldn't take anymore, he walked out. He is now the father of a little girl by a woman who got pregnant to trap him into marriage.  Women who do that stuff are repulsive.

 

I do not attend baby showers, baptisms. I am an outcast from conversations that are supposed to be "women" conversations--pregnancy, childbirth, breastfeeding, raising children, etc.  Yet women who do have children yammer yammer yammer on right in front of me about all of this garbage.

 

YOu can imagine my resentment at paying all of our income to some criminal who can't even provide proof this child is my  husband's.

We have no way of know that the biological father would not have been a good father.  What we do know is that Maria decided to play God, obviously her main reason would have been to save herself the risk of losing her marriage and or the embarrasment of letting the whole world find out that she "sleeps around" while married.   As a wife of a victim of paternity fraud (husband lied to for 14 years) I can tell you first hand that these women are incapable of making any decisions that are in anyones best interest but their own.  I know the "other" father in question in our situation and he was an upstanding business owner who was married and had other children, fully able to pay support and get to know his daughter but never given the option because bio mom decided to play god.  We have no idea about the other man Maria slept with, they never went into any detail about this.  My husband still see's his daughter and we pay her airfare to come and see us but even so those lies changed everyones lives deeply, FOREVER, (except bio-mom she knew all along) including the child, my step-daughter is still haunted over this and worries that someday he might not want her around due to biology.  Must thank dear old mom for putting the best interest of their children first!

We have a historical practice in this country - ignore a problem until injustice boils - overcorrect - then 20 or 30 years later, we have sensible public policy.

 

I'm female, but injustice is injustice.    Since when do bonds create a financial obligation?  There are hundreds of people I have supported emotionally/financially,  and friend's children I helped raise.  The court's have no right to interfere with these private matters - or charity will be in jeopardy.

 

The father is remarried to a woman who, rightfully so, is clouded by the injustice the biological mother perpetrated.  The father, influenced by his wife and the obvious injustice,  capitulated,  to his heart's regret.  The mother laughs and nods whether she is being persecuted or vindicated; which is the saddest of all.

 

The child is calm, counseled and intelligent; which makes me believe someone is doing something right.

 

We all know deadbeat dads - but we can't overcorrect by punishing the innocent. 

 

I will go further and hope you have another show - I don't believe conception should be the unilateral decision of a woman with the biological father  subject to a lifetime of  financial support.    There should be public policy regarding a woman's right, and a man's right where there is a dispute over the birth of a child.  

Can we stop pointing fingers and focus on the real problem????????  SELENA!!!!!!  Isn't there a way we could all quit bickering about who is right and who is wrong and in some way help this child?????  I just want to take her in my arms and tell her everything will be ok.

Wow, the man was lied to.  How would you feel if your son or husband was trapped like this?  You obviously have no basis or experience in this matter.  History has shown, children at some point in life want to know their real parents, and a lie told yesterday, a week ago, a month ago, a year ago, or 20 years ago is still a lie.  This man was married to the mother, and the only mistake he made was trusting her.  No doubt, he could have told his daughter in a more sensitive manner.  However, he is human, and the child was going to hurt one way or the other because he is not her father.  The father and child should be able to sue the mother in civil court for mental and emotion damages as well as fraud.  I believe this was child abuse.  Pure and simple.  The mom should do the right thing.  Drop the child support, and allow the man to mend his relationship with girl, but experience has also shown, mothers never walk away from the money.  In fact, they are more apt to fight for additional cash and against additional visitations.

Dr. Phil, you could have gotten a real lawyer and not Gloria.  What a joke she is.  She was a typical leftist lawyer by not answering the question and trying to push a social agenda instead. 

 

Shame on that mother, shame on Enrique.  They desroyed a child forever!!  That arrogant mother didn't say she knew the father.  She is so self centered!  Money is not the issue.  Relationships are.