Topic : 12/25 Parent Trap

I really do feel sorry for the child.  I think the man known to be her father should have handled this in a better way.  He should have remembered that she was just a child.  In the same matter the man is a victim.  The fault should like on the mother.  In some sense the lady lawyer was making the man out to look bad because he didn't want to pay the child support.  women shouldn't lie, that is why it is so hard for most women in court to obtain child support, because ofother women making women look bad.  she knew she had an affair she should have never lied.  First of all, although she lied to her husband, suppose the child had medical problems.  Secondly, she hurt her own child denying her to her biological father.  Her and her husband want to point the finger that the ex does not want the responsible to pay child support.  He should not have to, but it is the law that if you have claim the child and the child is in your name she still have that responsiblity.  To keep from hurting the child he should have had a family discussion so  that she could understand this better and that he would not have been made to look heartless.  He should have stayed in her life even though he was not her biological father because she was the only father she knew.  In the long run this would have made him look like the better person in her eyes.  I think the mother is all about money.  If she was any kind of women she would not have allowed her child to be hurt this way.  Although her new husband has stepped up to the plate, this is just a ploy to make the ex look bad and the child needs to learn that she is also wrong for trying to make the ex look bad by excepting the other man right away and putting the ex aside.  Who's to say that the mother and the step father still won't her.  The family needs to think about what they are doing as a whole.  Not one person has been hurt two people have been hurt and it is all the mother's fault.  So don't put the blame on the ex for leaving, but he should have did it in a better way.  She needs to make the biological father step up to the plate.

I don't like what the lady did it was wrong and he should not have to pay child support. I am all for DAD RIGHTS WOMEN GET AWAY WITH TOOOO MUCH THESE DAYS AND MEN GET THE BLUNT OF IT....

After 10 years of raising the child there is an emotional attachment that cannot and should not be broken.

There are 2 victims here, Selena and Enrique.  I feel that there should have been a more sensitive way of telling Selena the truth.  Out at the park is not the place.  Visitation should not have stopped, it is not the child's fault.  It does not cost money to give and show love.  Ultimatley that is what Salena needs. Love. 

Now...... financially, the biological father should take the responsibility.  He should be found.  Where is he at?  At the end of the day, Enrique should have the choice to help financially at his own free will with out the courts involved. This only out of love and because it is the human thing to do, not because he is being forced to do it.  What his wife did is wrong in so many ways.  Deceiving in many different angles to many different people.  She should have told Enrique the truth from the beggining.  Love would have seen them through.  If not, it was never love at all.

A loving father

I agree.  This man was lied to and his emotions have been messed with.  Why would he have thought Salena wasn't his child.  And now that he knows, he should still remain in the child's life but should not have to pay any child support.  He did not father this child but has an emotional connection with her.  No one has brought up the fact of where the real father is.  Does he not know that he has a child out there that he might want to love and raise OR maybe he does and he's one of those fathers who doesn't care.  Either way, this real father needs to know the truth and pay up.  He contributed to this affair and child. 

During the entire show all I saw of the mother, was her glouting everytime someone said something about him and his way of telling his child. She smiled, she smirked, she laughed as she said she didn't care about him suing her for fraud, she was absolutely discusting.  I agreed with  the black man and the husband's new wife, who stated it was she that was  totally responsible for everything that occurred, yet showed no remorse nor took any responsibility whatsoever. She said the words, but her actions told otherwise. Her feeling he still owed her something, ANYTHING, is mind boogling to me. I was doing a whole lot of talking to the screen today Dr. Phil. I won't even comment on that LOUD, obnoxious lady lawyer as publicity is all she is after.

 

NOW, having said that, his response to finding out was deplorable. To hurt that little girl like that, was inexcusable. The right thing to do was to continue to love and make her feel safe, as a father and when she was older, and told in an appropriate matter, she would have felt special and loved to know he continued to love and treat her as his own.  This way, she may never trust another man or anyone who tries to get close to her. That is a  tragedy.

 

The biological father should be located  if the mother is dead set on getting money.  He is the one who she should go after for money, but this poor girl should not have been told in this way, and cetainly NOT been rejected the way she was. I am very upset with him the way he handled it, but I am extremely upset at this MOTHER ??? smirking all over the place, throughout the entire show.  Her new husband ,or boyfrined , (he better watch her too)  stated it was all about money on her husband's part. I disagree. It was all about  money to her,  never once realizing the extent of her daughter's devastating pain, to her husband it was all about revenge and anger and neither of them thought it out what their actions were doing to this poor child.  I agree that the child's feelings should have come first, but BOTH these people were dead wrong in thier handling of this situation. As a mother, who was left to raise 3 children,  I was devastated BUT the money meant nothing to me, and I never put him down, as he was their father. As grown ups, only one has anything to do with him now, but they decided that on their own. It may be a double standard but a Mother in our culture, even in the animal kingdom,is the prime protector and defender of the children, and this lady failed miserably.

Is there anyone out there that is wondering if the girl should know her real father if for nothing else to get the medical history. Who knows there maybe breast cancer or something else the girl needs to know. What does the mother really know about the guy that got her pregant. And what about the real fathers feelings? Maybe he would want to be apart of her live.

I want to know where the courts get off making a man pay child support for a child that is not biologically his? I understand that the most important issue is the child involved. I don't know why Enrique chose to stop seeing the child he thought was his, he had already established a bond with the child, he should continue as her father figure for her sake. But , what I do not  understand is how Marie seems to get off Scot free when she started the whole thing!!! Marie is definitely at fault she knew that their was a chance that this child was not Enrique's. She had a moral obligation to tell him that there was a chance it belonged to another man.  So in my mind she is TOTALLY to blame for this mess, she created. However I think more thought should have been given by Enrique  as to how he was going to handle telling Selina so as to do the least harm to her psyche. As for how to handle preventing it from happening to others families.

That one is a complicated one. Unless the person who suspects infidelity  is willing to risk hurting their spouse then I don't know what would be the best approach to avoid such a situation.I just feel terrible for Selina, she is being brainwashed by her mother (Marie). When Dr. Phil spoke to Selina alone backstage it was like hearing Selina's mother talk rather than Selina's own thoughts on the matter. 

Are you kidding???  A father that raises a child as his own is responsible for that child.  A man that turns his back on a child that he has raised since birth after raising them for any number of years. 

 

It boggles my mind that anybody would think that women have had the advantage over men when the fastest growing segment of population living in poverty is single mothers and senior women.

 

Many women do not understand their own biological cycles therefore assume the wrong man is the father of their children.  Often this is because of both not being properly educated and the hopes and dreams of a relationship with the man.

 

I think that Enrique's behaviour was disgusting, punishing a child for something that is not her fault.  An situation that she was totally innocent in.   It is obvious that his current wife is the puppet master that controlled this situation.  She obviously was looking for this outcome and I believe it was all over money.  It is unfortunate that he feels that he should not have to pay support for a child that he believed was his and treated as his own bio child for ten years.  The bottom line is that the biological father is probably long gone and someone needs to be not only emotionally responsible for this child but financially responsible.  Wether some men feel that this is not "fair" they have to pay for something they feel they are not responsible for it is not "fair" for that child to live in poverty because of something that is not her fault.  Wether we like it or not it really does take both parents to contribute to raising a child.

 

I was really disturbed by Cornel Smith and his behaviour.  It seems that he obviously had a feeling from the beginning that the child was not his or he would not have congratuated her on her pregnancy.  Why would he wait 11 years.  Was this when the relationship disolved and this was his way of punishing his former spouse.  I do believe if a man does not think a child is his then he should have the paternity test immediatly but if you raise a child as your own then you should be responsible.  Again I believe that looking into the child's dna is related to other agenda's.  He was rude and abrasive and showed no respect to the women on the panel. I guess he would be floored to find out that my ex pay's support for his step daughter and takes 100% responsibiltiy for a child born before I even met him.  This is because he understands that  being her Dad is much more than just being the biological donor.  Maybe he is just a more enlightened person than the fathers on the panel or maybe he believes that raising a child and being dad is privlage.

 

The men on this panel seem to be focused on the money when dealing with relationships with children and raising children and this commitment could never have a monetary value.

I think the mom should be ashamed of her self.  She acted all innocent in the matter.. Is she nuts!  What a horrible thing to do to your husband and daughter!  I feel so bad for the lil girl!  The mom should be charged with fraud & the dad morally mad me so angry!  What a jerk to do that to her... so little so innocent in the whole matter.  Geez what a bad situation.  I used to like Gloria (Alread)? But now Im not so sure her opinion was so off base!   Thanks, Tracee T.

Gloria sayed this is not a mother/father issue but the childs issue. That's bullshit...if the mother was the victim in this, Gloria would be the first to cry OUTRAGE!!