Topic : 12/25 Parent Trap

I'm a professional woman and a proud supporter of women and family issues, having said that, i need to agree that the ex-husband is not being treated fairly in this situation. Yes, he could have done a much better job with the child he though was his daughter and he should rightly be brought to task regarding how he treated her, and he was. He seems genuinely sorry for that and appears to want to take steps to make amends. But does that mean he should be held financially responsible? I do not think so. Hopefully he will be the kind of person who will try to reestablish a loving relationship with her and to also be generous with her, but any financial generosity should be because he wants to, not because he is legally obligated to.  If he is held legally responsible to write the woman a check for child support... the woman who deceived not only him, but also her two daughters, that will only perpetuate the wrongs against these 3 people and may furher drive a wedge between the child and the man she thought of as her Dad. To me the financial issue is simple, he should not be responsible. The guidance from Dr. Phil and others should be to encourage him to step up to the plate and make amends and to be a loving part of her life.    I also think society as a whole is harmed by continuing to make him financially responsible. It makes men distrust women and the legal system, and puts women and children in jeopardy of every being believed. Right is right; wrong is wrong. Let's treat both the man and the child right.

  Oh boy guys,

 

             What a VERY screwed up MESS.

According to everything--child support(money) is at the biggest forefront of issue; by both mom/dad. O K, a solution, I think would work; a third party mediator. The supposed father, being stuck with the financial bill; pays into this third party account for the child. ALL monies are then allocuted by third party ONLY for the childs financial needs. Mom, neither SEES or TOUCHES ANY of the child support monies.

 

Mom, opened this "can-of-worms" by starting this mess; it's her responsibility to correct by contacting the REAL/BIOLOGICAL father; and have him involved with the child. Emotionally, financially etc. ALL monies again going through third party mediator, ONLY. And again, mom neither SEES or TOUCHES said child support.

 

Lastly, mom needs to sit down with the child and allocute ALL of her part in this mess.

i think the biological mother got off easy on this show. she should encourage her ex and her daughter to continue a relationship, which he appears to be open to. i can't believe anyone would think he should be responsible to pay child support, and the lawyer on your show was just plain scary.

DISAGREE. Mom should take full responsibility for her financial care.

Also, no one has asked if the daughter wants to continue a relationship with this man.

He should should not continue contact until the legal issue is resolved if contact will hold him liable.

I think the woman should be charged with fraud and made to pay restitution. They also need to be mentally evaluated. If I went out and bought a car under someone elses name you wouldn't expect them to pay for it.  A birth certifcate is a legal document. If you lie on it you should be charged with fraud. Also it should be mandatory that the mother pay for counseling for the child and the father.

If the laws were written by me!!  The dad should not have to pay child support because the dad was the victim of a fraud by previous wife.  I feel the dad is really hurting and lashed out the wrong person (the abandoned child) which is truly sad but I do believe he should be able to see the child by law and let he himself dictate to what he should do with child support money and the mother should not have any say so in the handling of money!  I don't know how this would be done but the mother should have to own up to her mistakes as well.   I am too honest of a person and cannot figure out why some people get away with these lies and fraud.  I don't get mad often but this story really got me hot!  Beth. 

I have a child from a woman that slept with everybody in the neighborhood and some, after my child was born I chose never to try and find out if she was mine. Twenty years later I have a beutiful Daughter and Grandson. I was given voluntary full custody when she was 6 months and never received one cent of support. My opinion is if you raise a child for x amount of years as your own (maybe 2 to 5 years) you should be legally responsible, but also have legal paternal rights to that child. I would also like to comment on single mothers having to live off of welfare to raise there children, I worked the first 3 or 4 years of my childs young life making minimum wage or slightly more and never once got on state aid, I have since made quit abit more, but that is because of staying many years with the same company. 

I am a true believer that honesty is the most important quality in a person...........without it what do you have?

In regards to the show Parent Trap, I find it very wrong when a spouse female or male cheat on one or the other while married, get out of one relationship than do what you feel is needed.  In this case who got hurt? The mom acted like an innocent party, and was guilty, she is the one responsible for her actions and I feel she is the one who hurt her daughter from the start.  I feel the "dad" reacted the way any person would when being decieved. 

 

I hope once all of the shock and strain of this ordeal is not as fresh that "dad" and daughter can build a relationship again. 

I feel this "dad" and daughter should continue to be just that, but should not be held responsible to pay for her support under fire, meaning, not by court law, but if she has a need fulfull it.  I think the mom is responsible to support her, and that if she can't make it financially without the support, she shoud be the one to go after the man who fathered the girl. 

 Enrique needs to grow a back bone. His new wife opened a can of worms that should never have been opened, and he dived into it! She was meddling, and should have known nothing good would come out of this mess. This is all about control and getting even. Too many divorced dads see the child support as income for their ex-wife and her new honey. The child sees it very differently and takes the arguments personally.

Enrique, be a man! Write the checks without complaining. Show your daughter that even if she chooses not to have a relationship with you, you will continue to be her father and supoort her...because you love her and want her to be taken care of,  not because a court tells you to do so.

I think there could be a good long list of all the flaws with the child enforcement rules and policies.  A man being forced to pay child support on a child that is not his is only one of many. 

 

From what I understand it is only after a certain amount of time that the father must continue to pay.  I think that after a bond has formed between the father and child and it is discovered that genetically it is not his child, the man should have all the rights to decided whether to continue with both the responsibility  and rights of fatherhood or discontinue and sue the mother for fraud.  Since the bond has already formed, I must say, however, that any man that would not continue the relationship is a real turd. 

 

I believe that the law is far to inflexible where genetics are concerned.  Bad parents receive too many rights just because of genetics, while while at the same time, good parents find i next to impossible to collect the support or be allowed to have any say so on how it is recieved (my freind was denied right to accept a lump sum payment when the ex received a large inheritance...now the money is gone and so is her support).  Men who are genetically the fathers worm there way out of paying support  and taking any responsibility simply by being losers with no job or assets, while men who are not genetically the fathers are forced to pay up because they did not think to have a paternity test early on.  All the while this is spurned on by the inflexible rules and regulations of the IRS child support division.

 

BTW--an example of our fine child support office at work here in Florida....When my child was 3 my ex-husbands tax return was taken to pay back child support....I received the check when my child was 9 which was also 4 years after my ex gave up parental rights and 2 years after my current husband had adopted her. 

 

I think the whole system could use an overhaul....and as they make this overhaul they must keep in mind that Genetics are over-rated.  My husband and my daughter's adopted father is proof of this, he is the true dad, not the man that my daughter and I now refer to as "the sperm doner"