Topic : 12/25 Parent Trap

I've been in a relationship with a man for 18 years. When I met him he was in the process of a divorce. He had 2 boys that were 1 and 3 years old. To this day we are still unsure if his younger son is actually his.

His ex-wife left him for her boss at the time.They are still married to this day.

My boyfriend/husband (we are not married) had recently tried to make a deal with his ex to settle on a lesser amount in his child support arrears. He was in debt around $20,000. She of course wouldn't settle on anything lesser than the full amount. (Of Course) Anyway we still wonder to this day if in fact he is really his. If we were to find out that he wasn't his son it wouldn't make any difference as far as our relationship went. I'm sure she wouldn't have to pay back a dime if the facts turned out that that child wasn't his. I'm so glad that your show aired this topic. There are many women out there trapping men in this way. They don't realize how it devistates these men. They are basically criminals once they become so far in debt with their child support. They lose all privileges. ( Drivers license, hunting/fishing license, etc..)

In some states you can actually be incarcerated if you are so far behind in child support. How does that help the child?? They always reflect on the best interest of the child. If it were really true they wouldn't put these men in such situations. It should be a 50/50 deal. But it never is. Ask anyone who is paying child support. The men end up having to live a sub-standard lifestyle. Where the women usually keep the lifestyle they were used to regardless if there is another man in their life. They never took into consideration his ex-wifes new husband. She chose that new life and they should live it not ruin someone elses in the process.

Sheri from Idaho

I agree, usually the father is in the hospital at the time of birth, so test the baby and the father from day one. Problem solved.   No father at hospital, no name on birth certificate unless you have DNA proof. 

Tammy

Two years ago we found out the almost two year old twin boys we believed to be our sons were infact not.  Our family was crushed, but felt it was best at their young age to end contact and hopfully the mother of the boys would unite them with thier biological father and his family.  That did not happen and the man we suspected to be their father has since died.  We do not know if his parents are aware they may have these grandchildren, but have made a family member aware.  Horrible.  It was horrible.   The only way our son was able to get out from under paying child support for two children for 16 years was  the man she ended up marrying adopted them.  DNA tests should be mandatory.  Our son have no idea there was a possibility they might not be his.  I am thankful they were young enough they will never remember us.  I hope their mother grows up enough to know it is in the boys best interest to not involve them with our family in the future, but I fear that will not be the case.  She still tries to use our sons insurance for them and claims he "gave up his paternal rights", not bothering to add the DNA test proved he had no paternal rights to give up, only legal rights he should have never had in the first place.   To those of you who have never gone thru this, it's like anything else, don't be so quick to pass judgement --- you don't know how you will react.  Not seeing the boys we loved - our first grandchildern - from the moment we knew she was expecting, helped care for, snuggled, sang to, rocked, cried over when they were born 9 weeks early (found out later it was 4 weeks), loved - loved - loved is heartshattering - life changing.  Just two weeks ago we met up with someone who had not heard and asked about them, so we had to explain it agian.   Don't you dare pass judgement on us, pass it on their lying wench of a mother.