Topic : 12/25 Parent Trap

This entire situation is horrible - but I have to say that Gloria Allred added nothing to this show.  As a woman, I was embarrased by her outburst.  It seemed like she was trying to justify this obvious miscarriage in the justice system with the burdens caused by dead beat dads.

 

Sure, we have a problem with people (men and women BOTH) not living up to their responsibilities - but that doesn't (and shouldn't) justify a man having to pay child support for another man's kid.  His name should be removed from the birth certificate immediately upon presentation of the DNA evidence showing he's NOT the father. 

 

Don't misunderstand, he's in the wrong for how he handled this news - he should have taken time to respond instead of reacting from pure emotion.  I believe he regrets how he handled things - but should never have put the child in the middle of his obviously emotional battle with her mother.

 

That said, he's still a victim in this.  Most of all, the child is the victim - of her mother and some other man out there, who likely has known for years that he COULD be the father.  I hope the child gets the therapy she needs to build her strength and confidence.  I hope the mother someday owns what she has done - because she DID seem to find it almost humorous instead of tragic - and I hope the "father" rebuilds a relationship with a lovely young lady who once called him "dad".  Not as it was - but as it hopefully can be.

 

I understand this dynamic somewhat better than some - my own daughter (from a previous relationship) was very close to my ex husband (we were married from the time she was not quite 5 until she was almost 14).  When we divorced he literally walked up to her and said, "Well, it was nice knowing ya kid." 

 

I'm happy to say that my (new) husband and my daughter are very close, he adopted her immediately after the wedding (when she was 15) and they developed a wonderful relationship.  (She's now 18, attending college)

 

 

This is such an unfortunate situatuion! However, how can someone just walk away from a little girt that he raised for 10 years?  If it were not for Erique's new wife, he would still believe that Selina was his daughter.  If he questioned her paternity it should have certainly been at birth.  Not 10 years later!  You can not just stop being a father as he did.  Yes Maria may have not been truthful from the beginning but why punish a child for her mothers doings, and this seems just what Mia wants Erique to do.  Yet Selina is the one whom has taken the punishment.  Erique should pay child support for Selina and continue to do so and be her father until she was of legal age and then discuss with her the situation should it arose. 

 

I particularly did not like Carnell Smith.  Why did he fight his ex after 11 years of child support, what was his excuse for not doing so immediately when the child was born?

 

Any man whom has acted as a father to a child for x-amount of YEARS should certainly continue to do so.  If there should be any reason of disbelief of paternity it should be taken care of within the first 2 years of life, not a decade later...... 

 

 Sorry for all you men out there that may have this problem, but for any reason of disbelief take care as soon as possible.  We have to MANY children in this country that the fathers evade child support and there are far to many children in this country that will never know whom their fathers are because of the mothers many partners and unable to find the true paternity.  Whom pays for all of these children?  We do, the taxpayers!

On the show the womans new husband didn't say much. They just said how much he had filled in the father spot and that the girl now calls him dad. Why doesn't he step up to the plate and be a real dad and pay for his new child? I'm sorry for what this girl is going through. The way that man told her was lame. This woman should accept her portion of this problem and maybe she should now pay. He payed for quite some time. This doesn't mean he old dad can't have a relationship. Being a dad is just that. A rich dad is no more of a dad than a poor one.

Holy Cow....Gloria has been sniffing the smog in L.A. after the fires!!!  If a woman was falsely paying for something that was not hers, I bet Gloria would be right there to get the dollars back and more.  This so called mother is evil.  To spue the venom to the daughters is wrong.  The method of telling Selena was harsh and could have been handled better and Enrique acknowledges this.  Watching Selena on TV reminded me of her mother...bobbleheaded.  My personal wish is that Enrique would have open visitation, no payments due, and of course I would love to see the mother sued for grand larceny/fraud.  To be a father over 10 years fraudulently is a lot of money.  I feel for the new stepdad.  I feel for the daughters and wish for their healing.  I think it is time that women step up and be real.  Stop giving good women a bad reputation.  This is not a good mother.  This is an evil, selfish woman.

 Dr. Phil's last comments were that the child comes first and money second. When it comes to the law that translates back into $$$$. The truth is there a large number of paternity fraud. Most states will not allow paternity to be questioned after a very small amount of time has past since the child's birth. Everyone knows divorce and family courts are highly favorable to females. The problem is when womens rights came along laws were made to favor the female and the old laws were kept as well. this amounts to the woman having her cake and eating it too. The law is not right or fair about many issues. Where is the woman's responsibility and accountability? The courts have always said that visitation is separate from child support. Therefore, there should be no issue about the bond between a child and visitation to continue, without threat of the financial responsibility. That belongs to the woman who duped her husband. It is her responsibility to recoup the money from the real father. She also should be responsible in civil court not just for repayment, but also for pain and suffering caused. Why is there a double standard surrounding this issue, when any other legal issue you could do this and win?

It's a shame that Enrique's anger was taken out on a child - he should never have done that.  In effect, he was a stepparent to his "daughter" and it is never OK to destroy a child's life like he did.  HOWEVER, he should NOT be made to continue paying child support and should be reimbursed from the lying mother for what he's paid.  He should make the effort to re-establish a relationship with his daughter when she'll allow him because it's the right thing to do and because he in fact is in the same position as a stepparent.  Stepparents are NOT required to pay child support unless they choose to legally adopt a child.  The mother should be forced to contact the biological father and collect for him, or support the child herself.  What she did is never OK - to her husband or her child.

I don't feel any man has a monetary obligation to a child who is not his own.  However, I also feel that if a man has been around for a child as they have grown up then the man should remain in the capacity of a male role model for the child's sake.  I fail to see how any truly caring "Father" could just turn and walk away.  I do not think anyone other than the biological parents are responsible for a child though unless said child has been adopted.  I feel once adoption is in place legally, then the parties have all agreed to these responsibilities....ALL responsibilities.  Until a legal adoption is in place, certain non-biological parents have not agreed to accept certain responsibilities.  If it was not their irresponsibility to create a cihld then they should not have be forced to take any responsibilities for a child.  Just my opinion.

I can relate to the daughter in tonights show. My ex-husband refused to pay child support when we divorced because our daughter was adopted and "not his flesh and blood."  Where in hell to people come off thinking a sperm and an egg make a parent!  I feel bad for the child tonight as well as for my own daughter who has also been desserted by her "father figure."  She should know that she definitely deserves so much better from a parent.  I hope she does learn to trust again and not make everyone pay for the mistakes of her "father."

having been an adoted child I understand thissituation but feel strongly that the biological father needs to be involved here. Ok, let Enrique have visitation but DON"T punish him financialy by legally requring him to continue to any child support  for the child that IS NOT his biological child.  Where is the man she had an affair ith while they were married that is legally, emotionally and physically resposible for this child?????  Is there not any legal recourse for her falsifyng a legal document?????