Topic : 12/25 Parent Trap

Yet another reason couples should keep their marriage vows.

First, I'd like to say the Father's Advocate made so much more sense than the "Bitter" Women's Advocate.  Now, Dr. Phil what's your thought on the possibility of having a paternity test done each and every time a child is born in the US.  (Yes, paid for by the delivering hospital).  I know someone would complain as to how much it would cost our medical system to perform this test with each birth, but if the real figures were summed up and included the cost of those fathers who have lost their jobs because of being put in jail for non-payment, the actual cost of incarcerating them, the court costs time after time attempting to get money from those fathers who rightfully should not be paying (such as Enrique), the cost of continuous mailings trying to locate deadbeat dads, etc. I definitely agree that fathers should be held accountable for their children or even the children they decided to be responsible for, but for those who were put in a situation because of pure deceit should not be held financially responsible.  If this test could be done, it would put a stop to what took place on your show today, it would put a stop to the children getting attached to someone who feels the need to detach himself because of the hurt he has suffered due to the lie...there are too many feelings at stake.  It all begins with the female and her choices.  Fathers might be more apt to stay in the role of "fatherhood" from a real emotional and moral side as opposed to the financially bound side.  We're saying it's about the child (and it is), but we're making it about the money.  I agree with Mr. Smith...let Enrique remain in the daughters life as her father (if they agree to make that decision) and return the money to him.  Let it be a "heart" move and not a court appointed funding move.  I'm not a hospital administrator or an attorney, but doing this test at the beginning of life could help life to be a little more stable from the beginning.

Dear Dr. Phill, I'm about to jump out of my skin here! (sorry for my grammar, english is my second language)

This is the first time EVER, I take the time to send a comment or a reply to any Website... Ever!!!!!

The paternity  show today was a mirror Image of what my husband when though!!

The Woman behave the same way, blaming me for my husband finding out the truth, and blaming my Husband for not finding out before the child was 7 years old. 

Altough Enrique approche was not the right one,  I can see what may have cross his mind.

My Husband had no chose on how the child was to find out , because ones he confronted her about the paternity result she cut him out, in fear she would be exposed in a bad light. Ones again putting her self first ones again( Probably with Erique may have though she would do) Wrong thing to do and irrational but I'm sure he was over taken with a pain he's never experience before. (I'm glad you help her review the possibility of a relationship  with him for this exact reason.

In My Husband case, she gave the child her own explination, which we found out was far from taking responsibility . It was all about pointing the figer and making him the evil man , how wanted a paternity test because he never wanted him the first place.

This Mother of the year doesn't appear like the one who would of bring the child to the counselor anyways!!!! She can't even forefit  charging this man child support for God sake!

Dr Phil, I would understand you going lite on this Female( I refuse to call her a woman) like you did today if her daughter was in the room( I know you would say " but she will see the show one day, so I do not want to make her resent her mother"). but  I so would of love you to rip in to her and wash that grim away. Please tell me you did after the show?!?!??!?!?

I saw the pain my husband when through and still goes through!

Like I suppose it is the case with Erique  as well.

This woman wanted to trap him, fiancialy and emotionaly. Calling all the shot and using the child as a pond to control him by his heart strings for all these years.

So imagine now that he knows the child is not his, she all of a sudden had even more control than ever because she can refure for him to see the child, cancel visitation at the last minutes, make him jump

through rings of fire to have access to this child.  Trust me this is exactly what she would do ones she no longer gets child suport from him and another man in to her life!!   I've seen her kind before, so where those it end!

I completely get you, it's not the childs fault and it is tragic more then words can say ,and yes the child do come first but  please Dr. Phil!!!!!!

To add salt to the injury Dr. hill, you had to say on national television that Men should still pay for child support!!!!??? Did you have a little chat with Robin before letting this one out of your mouth!?!?!

What about lelling this woman to get a secound job(ok less time with the kids,I hear you) so waht about downsizing the big house we saw on TV, or selling  some posession if she has to to support her child and pay for her selfish  ways!!!!!!

I can go on and on , even with english being my second laguage, so imagine if I could write you in french!!!!

By the reaction from the audiance today, I'm sure you will be bombarded with e-mails on this issue.

Dr. Phil I love you and all but you need to start wearing a sun hat  on this beautiful bald head of yours, because the sun is getting to you in a big way my dear 5PM friend!!!    

Sincerely dissapointed,

Annie-Martine from Canada 

  I have to say that I am very surprised and sad at the number of people who were so judgmental about the mother and sided with the husband and felt he shouldn't have to pay child support.  He isn't the first husband to be cuckolded and he won't be the last.  The issue is the welfare and well-being of the child.

  Twenty-seven years ago I worked for the Clerk of Courts in a county Family Court.  I vividly remember two divorce cases where the father had found out a child born during his marriage was not his.  One man didn't feel he should have to pay child support but at that time in Ohio (don't know if it has changed since then), if a child was conceived or born during a marriage, the ex-husband had a financial obligation to support the child until the child reached the age of 18, whether or not the child was his.  Legally, he was the father and his name was on the birth certificate. Needless the say, the guy was very upset and swore he would never pay his ex-wife a cent.  He was bent on punishing his wife at the expense of a small child.  I asked a lawyer I knew why this was the law because it really didn't seem quite fair to me even though I felt bad for the kid.   "Well", he told me, "the state has to protect the child.  If the husband who was the "legal father" didn't have to pay child support, chances were the state would have to provide financial assistance to the mother in the way of public assistance (welfare), and/or food stamps, lunch programs, etc.  The taxpayers would have to pick up the tab.  Better to have the legal father pay than the state.  The child would be better off this way also."

  In the other divorce case, the husband had bonded with the child before finding out he wasn't the father, but he loved the child and was willing to pay child support as long as he had visitation rights.  He wanted to be a part of raising this child because he knew that he was the only father the child knew and didn't even want his son to know he wasn't the father (the biological father was out of the picture).  I was totally in awe of this honorable man and wish that more men could be like him.  I'm sure he was blessed with a beautiful relationship with his son over time  that was worth a lot more than the money he had to pay for child support.