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Topic : 12/25 Parent Trap

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Created on : Friday, October 26, 2007, 02:49:00 pm

Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 10/29/07) Fraud. lies. conspiracy. They may sound like the latest Washington scandal, but these are allegations of exes at war over child support. Dr. Phil's guests claim they became victims of the perfect crime when they were led to believe they fathered a child that was not biologically their own and were forced to pay. First up, Enrique says he was shocked and angered to discover he was not the father of his youngest daughter, Selina, and that she was conceived during his ex-wife, Maria's, adulterous affair. Maria says he raised Selina but then abandoned her to save money. Why does Maria say Enrique's current wife is to blame for the fractured relationship? Next, 13-year-old Selina speaks one on one with Dr. Phil. Will she decide to let the man she once called Daddy back in her life? Then, Carnell Smith, who uses the online moniker, "Man4Justice," suffered a similar fate to Enrique, and but he fought and won. He says he's tired of seeing women trap men and get away with it. A heated debate ensues between him and feminist attorney, Gloria Allred, who argues that men like Enrique should continue to act as the father ... and continue paying! Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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ajanuarygirl22

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October 29, 2007, 5:56 pm PDT

10/29 Parent Trap

Quote From: terrazas1

I am Mia the current wife. I first want to say my heart goes out to Enrique and Selina and everyone else involved. I dont feel it is my place to tell my husband how to feel about this devastating mess. I suggested the possibility that Selina was not his daughter only after weeks of praying and discussing the topic with my daughter. I had my suspicions in the beginning but chose not to voice them. It was my daughter who talked me in to discussing this with my husband. As my very wise daughter pointed out; Selina needs to know her medical history and her ethnical background, at a minimum. I have never participated in tearing anyones family apart. I have compassion and pray for everyone in this situation to find some peace and yes, that includes Maria and the children. Its my firm believe and wish that Selina should have a trust fund and any child support money should go into that fund for her to do with as she chooses when she turns 18. Ill stand by that!

Well, now you really have something to pray about. Believe me, you can't buffalo everyone like you can Enrique. You motives were so much less than honorable, in my opinion. You and your very wise daughter should have minded your own collective business.

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voguelicious1

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October 29, 2007, 5:56 pm PDT

I completely agree with you!!!

Quote From: joyklein

I think men in these circumstances should be able to sue these women for fraud. It's no different than someone misrepresenting themselves as an investor and then bilking innocent people of hard earned money. That's a crime punishable by jail and fines, as it should be for these women. No one can put a price on the emotional and mental stress their dishonesty causes but they should still be held liable legally. Women who've done this to men AND their children...SHAME ON YOU! Men who've gone through this...I'm terribly sorry and hope you can some day find peace.

I agree with you %100!!! That is a horrible thing to do. How could someone do that to there child? This man had no choice in this, had he known this was not his child he could have chosen whether or not to be in her life a long time ago, before it would have affected her. This woman cheated, lied, hurt a lot of people and i feel that she hardly gets any of the blame. I feel like everyone was picking on the dad. He should not have to pay child support. They kept talking how its all about the money with him, that is rediculous. He shouldnt have to pay for a child who is not his. She should have to pay him back! I wish that the father and child could have there relationship back but he shouldnt have to be financially responsible. The only one worried about money is the mom obviously! She is horrible. the clip with her laughing ticked me off really bad. What a witch. Those kids seem sweet, poor girls.

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lmarrufo54

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October 29, 2007, 5:56 pm PDT

Watch

Quote From: whittingtontm

I do not buy the parent trap issue. I just caught the last 15 minutes or so of your show today. I am curious if your guest were under court orders. I work in the family court through the clerk's office here in South Carolina. Our Judges ask all defendants if they want to admit to paternity or if they would like a genetic test. Whether or not it is a private action for child support or through Department of Social Services, if they admit to paternity they are informed that they may never come back to court and ask for termination of their court order because the mother lied at the time the order was issued, someone else told them they were not the father or how ever they want to deny paternity. They are given this first chance if they respond to their notice of the hearing. If they choose not to repsond to the hearing, then when they are ruled in to court for not paying their child support they are ask at that time if they would like a genetic test.

Most of the cases I refer to are through Child Support Enforcement through the Department of Social Services. Mothers file for child support, notices are sent for service by the sheriff's department to the only address provided, usually a family member of the defendant. It is then the accepting partie's repsonsibility to inform the defendant of their hearing. Here they figure if they don't repsond they are not responsible. When they finally get into court, they are then given the option for the genetic test. As for private cases where payments are made directly to the parent, the parent is ask the same question as to admitting paternity or taking the test.

As to the relationship with the child whether or not they are the parent, it should not matter. Here it is sad to say the parent would rather give up their rights than have to pay their child support. Jobs are not easy to find in our area which really makes it hard for every one envolved, especially the children. They are the ones who really suffer.

watch the rest of the show.

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westmoreland

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October 29, 2007, 5:57 pm PDT

A shame

I do believe that the court made the right decision for the child to be supported. This type of behavior by the woman will never be corrected if there is no consequences for her. She has broken a law by having sex outside of her marriage. Since we now know that there is another father, she should be compelled to produce him and child support should ordered from him, these funds should go to the husband who was duked if he chose to take it, or put it in trust for the child. That laughing cheating wife should be jailed, she is an unfit mother mentally for those children.

Dr. Phil you should have been a lot harder on that woman. You zeroed in on the man who was duked. he did make a very bad choice the manner in which he treated that young girl.. I predict he and that girl will make it up and that girl will eventually see her mother for what she is. I have a 33 year old daughter that I don't think is mine but I will never want to know if its true or not. I devoiced her mother after 42 years of marriage.My daughter and I are closer now that when I was with her mother, very strange. Life is a bitch Dr. Phil.

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tammygann

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October 29, 2007, 5:57 pm PDT

Lost Father, Child Alienation, Step-mothers

I just watched the show and the first thing I wanted to know was...Did anyone tell the biological father that he has a child? How about the mother who committed falsehoods not only her ex-husband, but to her daughter and the real dad.

I am somewhat disappointed that the only "dad" this little girl of 10 knew betrayed her at what looks like was at the behest of the new step-mother. Any dad finding out he isn't the biological father should get over being hurt before he makes a decision to take action. This guy is the father of the little girls sister and the only father she has ever known. It is not her fault that she has a lieing mother. My guess is that her mother didn't admit her mistakes to her daughter but instead focused the words on the guy she thought was her real dad. I think he needs to stop listening to his new wife with respects to the girl he was a daughter to; and go and apologize for how poorly he handled the news. He should be willing to pay child support, but make out the checks to his non-biological daughter as an apology for how badly he handled the news to date. He should try to re-establish a loving relationship they once had, as I am sure by now he realizes he made a mistake to try and eliminate her from his life. After all it wasn't either of their faults, but instead it was the fault of the person they both thought loved them.

The little girl can decide if she wants to let him back into her life and hopefully someday she will forgive him and let him back into her life. They have a great many exciting events in the coming years to share, it would be a shame for them to both miss out on those precious times because someone they loved betrayed them both.

She should also have the option of whether or not she wants to know who the biological father is and whether she has a desire to see or get to know them. The show did not focus on the mother needing to apologize to both her ex-husband and daughter, but I think they should have.

I am kind of surprised that this lady is remarried and knows what she did to her ex and daughter and would want to stick around. Does he really think she isn't going to lie to him? If that is the case....he isn't reading the tea leaves correctly.

There was also now real information supplied about how the real biological daugther feels about what her parents both did. It would be great to have a follow up to this story to further look into situations such as this and to see if Dr. Phil can help them all following todays show to offer a better future for all of them.

By the way, we can all argue what should or should not be legally the right thing to do, but the bottom line is everyone involved is dealing with hurt, anger, and betrayal. Whether someone has to pay or not shouldn't be the focus. Healing the hearts and relationships are much more important.

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mustangmama07

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October 29, 2007, 5:57 pm PDT

10/29 Parent Trap

Quote From: rlumsden

Yes he was wrong for abandoning his child but my gosh not everyone sits back and like crap thrown in their face!!

The mother is pathetic! A problem must be solved at the root ...women and men must STOP LYING to their children . This is a very serious problem that happens ALL over the world

You are absolutely right. And the one who said the man and new wife should be ashamed is wrong. Wonder what they'd think if they were in that situation and going hungry to pay for a kid that's not even yours.

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donniemac

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October 29, 2007, 5:57 pm PDT

Its a lovers question

Quote From: missdavies

That's 30% of paternity tests performed - not 30% of births.

Think about it - 100% of those paternity tests were likely performed because there was a question. Given that, 30% is actually quite low.

There is always a question if you as a man are smart just as there should always be a prenup. Wake up and smell the coffee.

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busty7800

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October 29, 2007, 5:57 pm PDT

Parent trap

Quote From: sherryhh

The mother lied about the child's paternity and she should not benefit from this lie. Both Selina and Enrique were hurt by this lie. Enrique behaved badly when he learned the truth. I think that Selina should be given the opportunity and encouraged to go live with Enrique and his wife for a period of time (3 months, 6 months, whatever works for Selina) and given counseling so that she can learn to forgive Enrique for abandoning her. No matter what the paternity test says he was her father and that relationship is worth salvaging for everyone's sake. Should child support be paid? You bet..... have the mom pay Enrique. If/when Selina chooses to return to living with her mom then Enrique should not have to pay child support to the mom. But for both his sake and Salinas sake I would hope he would provide some form of support directly to Selina whether that be paying for musical lessons, giving her spending money to have fun with her friends, taking her on vacations with him and his wife, helping her in the future with educational costs, or other appropriate expenditures. That way Selina will not believe that all he cares about is the money. Yes, it was a lie that he was the biological father but if the end result for him is that he gets a wonderful daughter then who cares about the biology? Selina can get her dad back, Enrique can get his daughter back, and the mom gets no money. By the way, this is coming from a divorced mom who collected child support.

I watched the show tonight and I understand that it is about the daughter, but for a second or a day or week or month, I believe that it was totally about the father. Can you imagine ten years later that you find out that this is not your biological child? What PAIN! Women may understand it better if the baby that they had ten years ago, the hospital called to the her that they gave her the wrong baby. The woman may fall apart! She may or may not recover for this. So just for a little while it is about the man. Now take that!! Gloria!!!!

Also I am a man that loves children. I have four god-babies. I treat them like my children. The bond that men have with their children only to find out differently is horrible and would make most men cry like a baby.

And finally, I believe that with the money issue, the man is so hateful and hurt that he dosent know what to do. When he continue to give money to the mother of the child that is not his, he knows that some of the money is going to the child, but also to the mother. She may have a new boyfriend, and just the thought of them dining off of his money or going to rent movies with the money that is meant for the child. What a situation to be in. It is like losing your house that you bought and paid off, and you ride by and the new man has taken over all that you have worked for. Yes, it is about the child, but Enrique has suffered also. Adults have things happen in their lives also that maybe they are never about to conquer. These people are doctors, police, pastors, teachers, and bus drivers. They service the public and how would like it if they were angry and uncaring as they serve the public. No! I don't want to see a child messed up mentally, but hey! I don't want to see an adult messed up either and he goes and does something crazy that affects many. Enrique did it his way as for telling his daughter. I am not going to say that he was right or wrong, he did it his way. As an adult, we have to respect each other as each parent will do thing differently that others. Give ten parents a task and you will have ten different ways of completing the task. I would not have done it this way, but NO ONE has the right to say that Enrique did it the wrong way. It is not about a right way or a wrong way, He did it his way! Every family is different ,,, the browns and different from the williams and so on. As long as it is not breaking the law, each of us can do things as we see fit as parents. I am not on his side or her side, I am on the right side.

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suthrnman2

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October 29, 2007, 5:58 pm PDT

No justice

Quote From: cyn3100

The step mother exposed a lie. Since when is that a bad thing? I'm shocked by how many people think having this child live a lie is the acceptable answer to her mother's fraud. Any time a child is involved, the truth becomes that much more important. She should have known from the beginning who her father was!

Spoken like a true mother! I don't see any consequences for the lying, cheating mother! Thus the problem. Free cash and no responsibility. Where do I sign up!

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doggonedogs

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October 29, 2007, 5:58 pm PDT

A TRAGEDY!!

I AM SO INCENSED!!! TODAYS SHOW WAS SO INTENSE AND UPSETTING!!!

BUT I COULD HAVE JUMPED OFF THE COUCH WHEN DR. PHIL, TOLD THE SO CALLED LADY THAT SHE SHOULD STOP SHAKING HER HEAD "YEAH" , THAT THIS IS HER FAULT TO BEGIN WITH!!!! SHAME ON HER!!!!!!!! AND NOW SHE SITS BACK AND ENJOYS THE CHILD SUPPORT AND THE PITY THAT EVERYONE SO RIGHTFULLY BESTOWS UPON HER DAUGHTER,,, ALOT OF PEOPLE ARE SO BUSY FEELING SORRY FOR THE CHILD THEY MAYBE FORGET ABOUT WHAT SHE HAS DONE TO THE CHILD ALSO!!!!!!!

I ALSO FEEL SO SORRY FOR THE DAUGHTER IN THIS DECEPTION!! I DO AGREE THAT THE FATHER SHOULD HAVE HANDLED THIS DELICATE SITUATION WITH MORE TACT, LOVE AND SYMPATHY, BUT I FINALLY FELT AND AGREED THAT IN HINDSIGHT HE REALIZES THAT HIS RIGHTFUL FEELINGS SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN TAKEN OUT ON HIS LITTLE GIRL!!

WOW TODAY I ACTUALLY HAD TO MUTE PART OF THE SHOW,,, ONLY BECAUSE OF MISS ATTORNEY!!! I HOPE DR. PHIL WON'T ASK HER BACK, SHE IS REALLY RUDE!! AND I'M SORRY DR. PHIL, I WOULD NEVER SPEND MY HARD EARNED MONEY ON HER HARD HEARTED BOOK!!!!!

AND THE OTHER GUEST, THAT WAS ALSO DUPED, HAD SOME GREAT IDEAS,, I WHOLEHEATEDLY AGREE, THAT THE CHILD IS FIRST,,,,, BUT ,, I ALSO FEEL THAT LEGALLY, SHE SHOULD BE RESPONSIBLE FOR HER LIES, HOW DARE HER SIT THERE AND PLAY THE INNOCENT, HE NEVER ASK ME KIND OF GAME!!! HOW STUPID!! IT ANGERS ME FURTHER THAT THE MOTHER, SEEMS TO GET OFF "" SCOTT-FREE" WITH HER DAUGHTER,,, I WONDER HOW MUCH RESPECT SHE COULD POSSIBLY HAVE FOR HER MOTHER,, AND IF NOT NOW , HOW WILL SHE FEEL WHEN SHES OLD ENOUGH TO UNDERSTAND HER MOTHERS CHEATING, SHE CAN'T NOW , BECAUSE SHES TO OLD TO UNDERSTAND RELATIONSHIPS BETWEEN A MAN AND A WOMAN!

DR. PHIL IS RIGHT OF COURSE,,, THERE ARE SO MANY ASPECTS OF THIS TO CONSIDER, BUT I STILL SAY SOME HOW THE SO CALLED LADY SHOULD BE HELD RESPONSIBLE!!!

SORRY FOR THE LONG WIND,,, I'VE NEVER FELT SO COMPELLED TO BE LONG WINDED!!!!!!

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