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Topic : 12/25 Parent Trap

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Created on : Friday, October 26, 2007, 02:49:00 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 10/29/07) Fraud. lies. conspiracy. They may sound like the latest Washington scandal, but these are allegations of exes at war over child support. Dr. Phil's guests claim they became victims of the perfect crime when they were led to believe they fathered a child that was not biologically their own and were forced to pay. First up, Enrique says he was shocked and angered to discover he was not the father of his youngest daughter, Selina, and that she was conceived during his ex-wife, Maria's, adulterous affair. Maria says he raised Selina but then abandoned her to save money. Why does Maria say Enrique's current wife is to blame for the fractured relationship? Next, 13-year-old Selina speaks one on one with Dr. Phil. Will she decide to let the man she once called Daddy back in her life? Then, Carnell Smith, who uses the online moniker, "Man4Justice," suffered a similar fate to Enrique, and but he fought and won. He says he's tired of seeing women trap men and get away with it. A heated debate ensues between him and feminist attorney, Gloria Allred, who argues that men like Enrique should continue to act as the father ... and continue paying! Talk about the show here.


Find out what happened on the show.


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October 29, 2007, 5:59 pm PDT

question?

Quote From: disneymom5

I just about had a stroke watching the show ! My husband and I LIVED this just a few short years ago ! My husband had been married before and when the 3 kids were taken from the ex, due to her drug use, and CPS was going to give them to us, SHE is the one who screamed that "the girl is not his !" (she was 7 at the time)... Well, that opened up the can of worms that ended up costing us over $30,000.00 !!!!!! This all happened in Washington State,  a state that CATERS to LIARS, and THEIVES !  We had a DNA test done, and sure enough, my husband was NOT the father ! This PIG of a woman (let's call it what it IS here, folks), even NAMED the BIO dad --- that STILL did not matter to the corrupt state of WA ! They went after my husband full force to STILL pay support, because, they would not let us raise her because she was not his bio kid, but flat out told us that he would still have to pay support. That was evil ! So, we lawyered up and fought back, MAKING Wa state go after the bio dad !  After 2 years, of fighting this, WE WON !!!   May I add, before the court fight ,the courts took all my husband's  visitation away because the PIG "mother", told the child  he was NOT her dad ! They said it would be damaging to her to still see him, knowing he was not the dad.  So, you see, he was not the one to cut off the relationship with the kid --- the state of WA did that !!  They had told him that he would not be allowed to see her, talk to her, or know anything about her, but had to financially support her.  It was truly a hard fight, but , in the end when we won, we knew we did the right thing.   My husband did everything he was supposed to, and time and time again the state of WA screwed him over !  For all those out there who think a man should pay for a kid that is not thiers, just because they were there for a few years, (or 10 --- I don't care how long it was ), you are just as sick and twisted as the liar "mother" !  Why don't YOU pay for the kid then??? You would be as related to her as the accused man is !  By having these men STOLEN from,--- AND YES, THAT IS WHAT IT IS ----- just gives these sub-human "women" a free ticket and reward for being a liar and a theif ! For the courts  to tell a man that they are non-exsistent except for the WALLET they own is the lowest form of evil I know ! They , like the creep women they  protect, care NOT ONE BIT about what is FAIR and RIGHT, but, who has the easiest wallet to steal from !  And the whining of "but what about the chillldddd?" Give me a break ! Have the whore "mother" deal with that ! It is called CONSEQUENCES ! Maybe if we held these PIGS responsible for the lies they tell, that destroy lives, we would stop seeing this kind of garbage !! In the end, my husband was removed from the birth certificate and won his case 100% ! But, he will forever be angry and bitter that when he TRIED to step up and raise this kid, the state of WA ripped that away from him !   And to blame the new wife for all this??? OH GEEZZZ !!! Are you saying men are so dumb that they will blindly go along with what ever the new wife says ? I choose to think that these men are smart and can think for themselves ! Let us not forget that the "new wife" was 100 % RIGHT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What argument now??  Place the blame where it belongs ! Squarely on the back of the woman who is now PROVEN to be a whore and a LIAR !  Believe me, if there were ANY way to sue this creep for all the money my husband wasted over 7 years, and just for the pure heartache I saw him suffer through, it would be done in a milli-second !! But, like always, men get the bad rap in this situation. Not all men are creeps ! As I am seeing more and more, it is the women who are truly disgusting !  Something needs to be done to make this fair ! It is not like men are asking to be let off the hook.......... if they are not the dad, they should be left alone ! Make the woman pay for her own kid ! It is now HER PROBLEM !!!!  Until something changes in the court system, (and by the garbage Gloria Allred was spewing out there, doesn't look too good), this will continue to go on.  With lying women and Ms. Liberal, er, Allred, there backing them up, the good folks are screwed. God help us all..............
I am totally in agreement with you but I am curious to know if your husband continues to be the father figure for the 7 yr. old girl or if he is still denied visiting rights?  If he is able to continue to be the father, is there any chance he would adopt her?
 
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October 29, 2007, 5:59 pm PDT

UPSET!!!!!

I watch your show everyday, and I hope I will never be as upset with one of your shows as I was today! The Mother on your show today had no remorse for the situation she put her ex-husband in, her daughter in or herself in. I was appalled at her behavior. I don't believe that Enrique should have to pay child support ; but I don't believe that he went about things the right way either! I think he should have treated Selina as his daughter like he always had. However, that does not exclude the Mother from the part that she has played in all of this. She lied about things from the very beginning, and she should be ashamed of herself! She nodded her head in agreement every time her ex-husband was reprimanded for his behavior, but what about hers!!!! She needs to realize that her daughter feels the way she does because of Enrique; YES; but it would never have came down to this if it wasn't for her deceiving behavior!!!!!!!! 

 
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October 29, 2007, 6:00 pm PDT

The Key Questions

What I don't understand is why Enrique wouldn't want to pay for this child that he thought was his. He obviously loves her. I think he should do what he feels is right regardless of the courts. Enrique's wife probably didn't want their money to go to a child that she felt wasn't his however it is not up to the wife. Enrique caved in out of love for this woman but she had alterior motives that were selfish. I think Enrique is very torn. Maria is wrong for demanding support from Enrique. She has a new husband who is willing to support Selina, who loves her and is good to her. Maria can also support Selina. If Maria lets up on Enrique and treats him with kindness perhaps she can heal Selina and encourage a relationship between her daughter and Enrique. I'm sure Enrique would then want to contribute to Selina's well being. This whole thing smells of evil on the part of every adult involved, each with a selfish motive. Dr. Phil please explain to Selina that she can have it all, a positive relationship with Enrique who wants to amend his ways, a relationship with her mom because mistakes should be forgiven, and a relationship with all the new spouses. If you teach a child to hate you create a hateful child. If you teach a child forgiveness they will learn how to forgive which is a life skill. There isn't a wrong here that can't be corrected by the same people that created the error.
 
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October 29, 2007, 6:00 pm PDT

Infuriated

Dr. Phil says that children should not be concerned with adult issues... then why is money even discussed? Isn't that an adult issue?  Child support...adult issue...  Granted, Enrique should have approached the situation with Selina differently, which may have spared her emotional baggage she is carrying around now, however, he should not have to pay for a lie that his ex-wife, Maria, committed. MARIA should pay. MARIA should make up the difference. OR, MARIA should find the biological father.  The financial burden of raising Selina should not fall on Enrique.... he has already had to pay, financially and emotionally, for 10 years for Maria's infidelity. 

Dr. Phil, Gloria Allred, Maria or her new husband said NOTHING to convince me that Enrique should have to pay for this.  Even taking Selina's ("the child's") emotions into consideration and not blaming her for her mother's infidelity, doesn't mean that he should be responsible for a child support payment.

Carnell Smith was an excellent guest.  He was very articulate and professional, and made relevant points.  My only wish is that he was allowed to "finish", as Ms. Allred would have put it, to make the point clear that Enrique should not have to financially support Maria/Selina. 

This whole situation is ridiculous, hence the title infuriated. As bitter as I am towards men, this topic made me want to be an advocate for them. I feel sorry for men that are in this situation. 

 

 
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October 29, 2007, 6:01 pm PDT

I COULDN'T SAY IT BETTER!!

Quote From: vixiex

Fathers are more than a checkbook.  I don't think he should have to pay if he isn't the biological father - especially since he's been lied to this whole time.  HOWEVER, if he's raised this child and is the Dad that the child knows - I would assume there is love between the two of them.  That relationship should continue. 

 

Biology has less to do with parenthood than love, trust, teaching and caring that comes from that relationship.  "Anyone can be a father - but it takes someone special to be a Dad"

 

Just my 2 cents.

I APPLAUD FOR WHAT YOU SAID!!!! THAT IS MY EXACT FEELING TOO!! MONEY CAN'T BUY LOVE AND UNDERSTANDING!!!
 
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October 29, 2007, 6:02 pm PDT

The mother needs to buck up and pay for her own child

It's women like this that make it hard for other women who have problems with getting their children's father(s) to do the right thing. I found it really deplorable how she sat on stage, with her self-rightous attitude, blaming Enrique for cutting off support of the child. I fully agree that men should support any child that they willingly bring into this world or agree to support ( if they are informed BEFOREHAND that they are not the biological father of the child). In this situation, Enrique was not informed prior to such an agreement, Therefore he should have the right to decide whether or not to continue to support this child. He should not have to pay child support for another man's child. If they can not find the biological father of the child, then the mother needs to buck up and be the sole provider for the her daughter that she brought into this world, with another man, in an adulterous affair. I understand that this situation is tramatic for the child, but imagine how you would handle the situation if you found out that the child that you provided for and raised for 10 years was not yours and was the result of your wife (whom you trusted) having sex (unprotected), with another man and then tried to pass the child off as yours. I am a woman and I can empathize with Enrique. It would worse than if I was married and I found 10 years later that my husband had empregnated another woman and had a child outside of our marriage. Even in that situation, the man who had the the affair would still be held accountable for the child's welfare. Why should Enrique, who has been victimized and duped be responsible for the child who was conceived in adulterous wife's affair. The whole thing is dispicable. I think there were better ways to inform the child that he was not her biological child, and for dealing with the visitation. However, I am sure that he was hurt and tramatized. People do not always make the best choices or decisions when they are in an emotional crisis. I do believe that Enrique and the child should re-establish a relationship, because they seem like they care and love each other (eventhough there is still some hurt and pain between them). But he should not be required to support that child financially. Throughout the show the female attorney and the mother of the child were saying that the issue of money should not come before child. Well then since it should not be about money, then since the mother slept around, and didn't inform Enrique that the child was not his, then she should not make it a monetary issue and support girl herself without asking for money from Enrique. The ONLY thing that she should encourage is a relationship between the two. The mother needs to check herself.
 
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October 29, 2007, 6:02 pm PDT

10/29 Parent Trap

Quote From: philicia

ALSO>>>> that feminist lawyer needs to give it a break and just realize that what she was saying made no sense she tried to change the subject a lot and was going backwards on her words and was proven wrong like the whole time. Let her put herself in his shoes hmmm what would she have to say now!
she cant teach the law,but let her live the law!
 
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October 29, 2007, 6:02 pm PDT

10/29 Parent Trap

I watched today's episode on the parent trap and believe there certainly are no innocent partys except the poor daughter.  The mother had the right to be up front and honest with her previous husband that he was not the father of her baby and to then be upfront about her unfaithfulness.  Shame on her!  She is 100% responsible for her daughter's pain as well as the "so-called" father.  I understand he did not do the daughter any favors by divulging painful information at too young of an age and then walking out of her life, but he is not responsible financially for behavior by the mother that was indecent and deceitful.  If he chooses to send money because of his love and relationship to this child then good for him, but as far as the bottom line of deceit from the mother's end, he owes that woman nothing.

The second problem I noticed was how personal this subject was to Gloria Allred.  As soon as she opened her mouth she was yelling and showing so much aggression like it was happening to her.  Maybe there are some men in her past that have done this to her, I don't know.  I think a prominent lawyer such as herself should not have shown so much feminism and favor to a woman who lied, cheated and cheated a man out of years of money for her knowing the truth about this situation.  I was quite appalled at how upset she was, I think she was close to tears?  She should have been more neutral and composed, I think all the women in the audience were definitely not on her side or the cheating mothers side. 

The truth is both mom and "dad" have contributed to the little girl's pain but nothing that God and forgiveness can't heal.

 
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October 29, 2007, 6:02 pm PDT

I am outraged

First, I can't believe all those that wrote in about how he should or should not have to pay child support.  Personally, I don't care if he pays or not.  Legally, I don't feel the court should make him.  But the whole issue I have is the anger I have for the father.  Sperm donors are not the definition of "father."  To turn his back on his daughter is absolutely disgusting.  I have NO respect for his new wife.  Her goal was to be supportive about finding this was not his biological daughter, but where was her support encouraging his continued relationship with his daughter.  I, for the first time watching, wanted to jump through the television and strangle that man.  The mother is no better, but she never deserted her daughter.  I find the father to be selfish.  Turning your back on your child ( and yes this is his child) is about as low as you can go.  He absolutely could have continued his relationship with his daughter and still fought the child support.  One has nothing to do with the other.  If her mother stopped the relationship due to the lack of child support, shame on her.  I did not see this show as a question of whether or not a non-biological parent should pay child support or not.  It should focus on that poor young girl, who's father, in my opinion, doesn't deserve either one of his daughters. 
 
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October 29, 2007, 6:03 pm PDT

Parent Trap

All of this is very sad.

The Mother seems to be under the impression that even though she lied to her then husband, it should be ok.  She started it, she needs to contact the biological father. 

No men should not have to pay child support to children that aren't theirs, but continue a loving relationship with the child. 

Gloria Alred does a very very good job of getting off the subject.  She never did address the real issue, just berate Enqriue for his terrible judgement.  But isn't that what Gloria always does!!!!!!

 
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