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Topic : 12/25 Parent Trap

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Created on : Friday, October 26, 2007, 02:49:00 pm

Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 10/29/07) Fraud. lies. conspiracy. They may sound like the latest Washington scandal, but these are allegations of exes at war over child support. Dr. Phil's guests claim they became victims of the perfect crime when they were led to believe they fathered a child that was not biologically their own and were forced to pay. First up, Enrique says he was shocked and angered to discover he was not the father of his youngest daughter, Selina, and that she was conceived during his ex-wife, Maria's, adulterous affair. Maria says he raised Selina but then abandoned her to save money. Why does Maria say Enrique's current wife is to blame for the fractured relationship? Next, 13-year-old Selina speaks one on one with Dr. Phil. Will she decide to let the man she once called Daddy back in her life? Then, Carnell Smith, who uses the online moniker, "Man4Justice," suffered a similar fate to Enrique, and but he fought and won. He says he's tired of seeing women trap men and get away with it. A heated debate ensues between him and feminist attorney, Gloria Allred, who argues that men like Enrique should continue to act as the father ... and continue paying! Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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disneymom5

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October 29, 2007, 7:16 pm PDT

10/29 Parent Trap

Quote From: saxxyman

Thank you for the ability to write it and call it like it is!!!! THANK YOU

Thanks......... I am a tell - it - like - it - is - kind of gal !!

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honesty4u

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October 29, 2007, 7:17 pm PDT

I am not alone...Thank you!

Thank you for your show !!!
Can anyone offer advice??
I have been going through a terrible paternity case with my ex for two years now. I found out my thought to be daughter was not mine because of a start of a new realtionship. My ex is very controling. We were married in 88 and I really tried to make it work. We did separate once, she said I had trust issues? I had to put all my fears to rest because she assured me I had no cause. When she became pregnant I had to ask again if there was any one else. After getting very upset she said no one! Marriage is built on trust I had to trust for my marriage to work. She always put me down for everything and all the ways I was not equal to her. After 12 years of marriage we divorced in 2001. I had a hard time feeling worthy of anyone after all her digs, but in 2004 I met my perfect match. When my ex got wind of my new relationship she began her threats, saying my new love needed to know the kind of person I was. When that did not work and we became engaged she tried using the kids. saying I would not get to see them. After telling her I have legal rights she then informed me that my daughter was a different story than my son. I cant explain the look, but I knew what she was trying to imply. I was not going to play that game. I took my daughter for a dna test ( unknowing to her cause I thought her mother was just trying another game) To show she was mine and to never imply that again. To my shock it came back 100% not possible. I had to contact the lab cause I did not understand how it could be 100% ? They explained there was 0 maches of anything. I did make sure and choose a top lab that the courts use in Florida. It took me two months to confront my ex on this, and when I did....well she threw out all kinds of threats and ways she would lie if I brought this to the surface. This is what I told her and this is what I feel. They talk about identity theft, Fraud , purgery, or what about the law on slavery? My ex and our daughters mother took away bio rights. Possibly half brothers and sisters and a true history of herself. And forced me into paying a debt thats not mine. I told her she needed to be the one to tell her, I would be there, but this is not a secret I would keep. And only she could give her reasons for not telling. She kept refusing to tell and I then gave her a dead line. She told her a week before my visit but said the test was false and I am just tring to hurt the two of them. I then rushed to the childs side and assured her of my love and that I will be there to help get the two of us through this. And if she has any doubt about the test we can all go together for another one. I tried to assure her that I will be there emotionaly for her no matter what. And the realationship we choose is up to us. That her mother can no longer have a say over me. And although I can supply love I can not supply dna and birth rights. I wish more attention was on birth rights and not birth certificate rights. We have now been going at it in the courts for over a year now. Fl. passed a new law in 2006 saying if you can prove you are not the father your free from the support. Unfortunatly her lawyer says the new law is against the US Constitution, that this new law 742.18 is not equal to women. Its only about the rights of a man. Her lawyer is an old hat in the town and has a repore with the judge. We have had three hearings just on if I have a right to be heard. I have used almost all my funds including credit lines to pay legal fees so far. I am at a loss. And will no doubt have to represent myself. My ex says she will make me loose it all no matter what it takes. Dr. Phil how can this be right? Even when a law is passed we still have no rights it seems. I am trying to be strong for the innocent child (who is now 15) but the hurt and betrayal I feel so deeply, seems so unimportant not even considered on anyones scale. She feels no regret over what she has done. Only vengence for hurting her name.

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lorydaniels

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October 29, 2007, 7:17 pm PDT

Astounded

Astounded, amazed and disgusted would only be a small piece of what I'm feeling around this. I am a single mom and rely on my child support to be able to be the mom I am. This mom has lied to all parties involved and while I don't agree with the way the "Dad" handled the information which was emtionally devastating to the child there are ways to soften the damage that was done. What this mom did was criminal and selfish was she concerned the biological father wouldn't step up to the plate or was her concern more selfish than that in she didn't want to have to confess to her lack of character. What about this girls heritage? What if the biological father would of like to be involved or even aware? What about the devastating betrayal the "Dad" felt?

This woman should apologize to her daughter for her lousy choice, apologize to the "dad", update the birth certificate with the correct information and help bridge the damage that was caused between the "Dad" and daughter so they can have a relationship that is not based on finances. This would also show that while she made a really poor choice many years ago she has learned that integrity and character are earned not simply bestowed. He should not legally have to pay child support for a child that is not biologically his. The mother should have to pay restitution to Enrique for the child support he has already paid and the legal fees he has incurred around this. If he chooses to not accept restitution for child support already paid then it should be his choice.

I hope that she "the mom" can find the path which could actually help her daughter learn from and move forward from this experience.

I hope the "dad" can put aside pride and his feelings of devastation and betrayal to find his way back to his daughter.

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patti2e

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October 29, 2007, 7:18 pm PDT

Parent Trap Show

Quote From: mudpie63

I don't remember Maria saying "she knew the whole time". Obviously, she was sexual with both men around the same time; otherwise, Enrique could've questioned paternity. My point, how could she know for sure? She may have had an intuition, but until the baby was born, she could not have known. Even after the baby was born, w/o a paternity test, u never know for sure! She did say the marriage was already in trouble at the time, did anyone ask if he was or ever cheated on her? If men could get pregnant...oh boy...the trouble...at least she tried to keep the entire family together. Would it have been better to leave him, take his daughter, her daughter, go live with the other man & have his daughter lose out? Or worse, have his daughter raised in poverty, because Maria couldn't make ends meet? It's a no win situation for all involved! Enrique should be grateful to have contributed to the welfare of his daughter, her sister & the mother of his child.

Sounds like you are condoning just going where the money is with no regard of what the right thing is. She knew - no doubt about it.....!!!

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cherryone

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October 29, 2007, 7:19 pm PDT

the women's responsibility

Gloria did nothing on the show but spout her usual propaganda mouth. She clearly sided with the mother who was obvioisly in the wrong, and contributed nothing to the converstaion execpt a bunch of lawyer propaganda that makes all men the bad guy. It is ashame that there is a child in the middle of all this but i agree with the man that went through this himself.....if you took the money out of the equation would she still want enrique to spend time with the children? These cases are not rare and because a man chooses to trust his girlfriend or in this case his wife he is penilized for it the rest of his life. So what is the lesson in this show.......That no matter how much you trust you wife of girlfriend always request a dna test so you don't get screwed down the line? And the sad part is that for all the father's who do pay child support, many times that money doesn't even go to the child.. it helps with the mom keep up with the latest fashion, that's why so many end up on welfare, how about instead of sending a check each month make them provided child care so the mom can get a job or go to school, how about buy food for the child or clothes for the child, that way the child support is just that CHILD SUPPORT.

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theosteens

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October 29, 2007, 7:21 pm PDT

10/29 Parent Trap

Quote From: anhonestwmomen

These women should be ASHAMED of themselves! My tax dollars are going to help them collect the child support payments from these poor men and frankly, I'm sick of it!!! Put in her jail and throw away the key!!! How could she lie to her child about her health history, etc? She (Maria) is a real sicko!

Hallelujah!

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gcole23

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October 29, 2007, 7:21 pm PDT

GO Mia

Quote From: findthings4u

The new wife is no more to blame than a stranger off the street. Anyone could have come to the same conclusion as the new wife if they saw the "adulterous" mother together with Enrique, and then looked at that child's green eyes could see that she wasn't his biological child. She just pointed out the obvious!

Mia is not to blame she is not he one who lied and committed fraud Maria did. You do not know the damage this fraud does to a family but, I do I live it . My husband is the victim of this type of fraud and our biological children suffer because he is forced to surrender 50% of his pay to a women who has never worked a day in her 33 years of life. Mia is supporting her husband and their family until you walk a mile in our shoes you will never know. I do not think you would be willing to surrender 50% of your income to support someone you had no part in creating? I would love for you to look into my child's eyes and tell her she does not deserve financial support from her biological father.

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reba01918

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October 29, 2007, 7:22 pm PDT

10/29 Parent Trap

Quote From: srfette

"As my very wise daughter pointed out; Selina needs to know her medical history and her ethnical background, at a minimum"

OH GIVE ME A BREAK! Selena looks like a perfectly healthy kid. How dare you act like a martyr and justify that Selena needed to know her health history. You, I and most of the world know it was a greed thing and about money. I "might" understand that explanation if she was a sick child, but give me a big break! Do not insult America's intelligence. In your "concern for health history, you managed to help destroy her emotional history. Now thanks to your help she can look back and tell her kids, (watch out that could happen sooner than you think..you know with the first male figure who "acts" like they love her!) tell grandkids and family members the day her dad said she was not his, and she couldn't come to visit.

YEA...really concerned for her health!

Oh and so you know, you made your husband look like a complete idiot. For you to be able to "think" she might not be his daughter....YEA! After all ready having a child with his wife and then a second one comes along...You don't think he knew? not even just a little bit? Lady if you were able figure it out, daddy I am sure all ready did and said nothing.

So don't get all bent out of shape, he has to pay. HE LOVED THAT LITTLE GIRL. HOW CAN A WOMAN WHO IS A MOM NOT WANT THE MAN SHE IS WITH TO HELP SUPPORT KIDS HE LOVES AND HAS ANSWERED DADDY TO FOR 10 YEARS?

WAY TO GO LADY....I would stop listening to your not so wise daughter.

you have also managed to break your husbands heart from you and your daughters oh so wise council.

You have got some nerve talking to Mia like that. Who do you think you are? Enrique has been dooped for all of these years and maybe it took Mia to finally see it. I'm sure his ex-wife did everything she could to make sure he didn't find out. Do you remember her telling Enrique how different Salina would look? She new from the very start. Mia might have pushed the issue but Maria started it along time ago.

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troyman

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October 29, 2007, 7:23 pm PDT

10/29 Parent Trap

Quote From: theosteens

You said, that "The mother is required to name a possible father (if not married)". They were married at the time she was born so therefore your argument is null and void in this particular case. This man was not served with a Summons and Complaint and had no reason to believe his wife would have cheated on him and then lied about it. When are the mothers that start all this crap going to be held accountable for their actions?! So ok, lets say he has to continue to pay child support, then she needs to have consequences for the mess she created. Statistically, there is way to many women that abuse their legal rights and use the children to their personal and financial benefit. Nobody addresses that issue. He wouldnt have been in this mess in the first place if he could trust his wife like your suppose to be able to do in a Marriage, you know a "legal relationship".

The mothers who are doing this are no different then the scum that ran Enron. She is gulity of stealing money, the same way Enron defrauded their shareholders and employees. Enron leaders voliated the trust of their shareholder, just like these women who take advantage of their mates.

I want to know why aren't these women being thrown in jail like the men who are deemed "dead- beat" dads? How can DNA get man off of death row, but if he was named the baby's father then he has to keep paying child support.

Gloria Allred needs a reality check.

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pittsjason1

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October 29, 2007, 7:23 pm PDT

money

Quote From: theosteens

it cost money for this the state should make this a furnished option before a father aka (named as) should have to pay since they are forcing an issue without facts

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