Topic : 12/25 Parent Trap

This is the first time I have responded to the Dr. Phil show! This show tore me up inside. Enrique and his girlfriend or wife or whatever she is makes me sick, she kept saying Oh, she lied, she lied, are you kidding , she doesn't care about the child she's interested in the money. We have gotten to be such a money grubbing society that we'll stop at nothing. If she truly cared about the child she would have encouraged Enrique to see the girl not just suudenly abandon her. If he had some backbone he would put the childs feelings before the girlfriend's bullshit!!!  Excuse my french!  As for Gloria, I like her and I'm going to purchase her book. I have a daughter whose ex has not paid child support, paid for any school fees, books, clothes, food, shelter for a year and a half for five children, which by the way are his  4 biologically, and one he adopted. She has to take whatever work she can to keep her head above water working long hours Night hours. I don't see many men going to jail for not paying child support they find ways to dodge around it. If the woman can't afford an attorney and you have to wait for a public defender you children could be grown before they get to your case. Poor men I feel soooo sorry for them HA. HA.!!!

Dear Dr. Phil~

 

I HAD to write in regards to your show 'Parent Trap'.  NEVER have I been as frustrated watching one of your shows as I was today!

 

First of all, Maria needed!!  Maybe that was her way of acting because she was nervous, embarrassed, or whatever- I'll try to give the benefit of the doubt- but to sit there with that 'smug' look on her face and nodding- well, you get my point because you did comment about it.  I yelled at you through the TV saying, 'Oh My God, FINALLY- thank you Dr. Phil!' 

 

Believe me- I'm NOT agreeing with the way Enrique handled the situation of how he told Selena.  That was so wrong, hurtful and inconsiderate for her!  I could not imagine doing that to either of my children- never!  Yes- she's a child- she didn't ask her mother to sleep around and then lie about it and she didn't choose to disown her dad.  BUT....  I kept waitng and waiting for SOMEONE to say that Maria was being just as inconsiderate for her lies and her greed!  This seemed like it was all about the payout.  Maria should have been saying- if she was concerned actually FOR Maria and not the money- to forget the money- just work things out with Selena!!!  Everyone kept telling Enrique that he raised Selena from the day she was born, how could he place her life on support-  He should STILL be involved with raising her but NO, he should NOT have to pay Maria for Selena.  He should be able to have that bond back free and clear- MARIA should want that for Selena.  Maria lied, let Maria pay for her mistake- she's NOT a single mother, that can't locate the father and having to make it on her own!!  She has a new, caring husband that apparently 'worships' Selena.  If you come into a relationship where kids are involved and become a significant part in their lives, you consider them almost your own.  You don't encourage paymeny form a person not the father- take care of it- you chose those children when you chose their mother!!  Enrique AND Selena seem to be the ONLY one's suffering for Maria's infidelity AND lies!  Actually, Selena's big sister seems to be hurt too- just by what her sister has been put through!  Maria- that's NOT being a good parent OR role model!   Yes- I believe in child support, I believe in going after dead-beat dads so that no mother or child ends up on welfare/assistance trying to make it on her own with a child- but it makes no sense that Maria is not being made to notify the biological father- if he refuses or doesn't have to acknowedge Selena because of the statute of limitations- then let Maria's husband adopt her but also allow Enrique normal 'parental visitation'.  Selena being adopted, whether she says it or not- will make her feel wanted- not thrown away but she and Enrique don't need to lose their bond.

 

One more thing, please- why is Selena not hurt and upset with her mom for all of the lies for so many years, for letting her believe that Enrique was her dad for 10 years?  What/Who do you think fueled this young girls feelings toward her 'dad', Enrique?  You could tell by listening to her talk with you and by the sad and lost look on her face- that she wants that relationship but she's afraid of causing more 'problems' and why have 2 parents not 'love' her.  I think THAT needed to be focused on and Maria needed A LOT more blame put into this instead of, 'It's done and over- Enrique, you raised her so shut up and pay'.  That's what Igot out of this!  Sad- VERY sad!

 

Thank you for the vent~

Kris

The biological father is the one who should be financially responsible ..."You break it, you buy it, buddy!" ... the mother is the one who is morally responsible, and is ultimately responsible for the pain her daughter is in now.  She lied, from the beginning, not just to the "father" but to the child as well.  The "father" does however, have an ethical and emotional responsibility to this child because of the years he WAS her father and should have continued the relationship with the child.  But, in all fairness, who can say how anyone should react to news such as this.  What a mess!  And what kind of catostrophic effects will this child endure because of their actions?

Vickie,

This is well put.  I do not think Gloria Allred should be defending this action.  She gets press and money from being outspoken.  Salena is stuck in the middle.  Her dad should have possibly used a little more tact in telling her, possibly have cooled down and thought it through before he told her, but I agree that she needed to know.  The biological father should be held responsible not getting off scott free because of someone else's lies and trickery.

 

Eden

PLEASE tell me i did not just read the "walk a mile in their shoes"

 

 

OK  you go right a head walk in their shoes and while yo'reu AT IT get your check book so you can go pay!!!

This mother should have to pay back child support.  I would not have the nerve to ask a man to pay child support if the child was not his.  How dare she.  I also think the mother wants to hurt her ex husband when she in fact is hurting her daughter.  I am sure she has put a lot into her head.  She almost acted proud of what she has done.  I hope she loses the child support case.  Can't the boyfriend see what she is really like?  I would think twice about being with her if I were him.  She needs to stop blaming everyone else and talk a long hard look into a mirro

My ex-husband and I split up ten years ago ( I was glad to get rid of him) due to a wild midlife crisis on his part.  Our daughter was 13.  Because of his new life style my daughter was not mature enough to deal with it at age 13.  Being extrememly self centered he decided to walk out of her life completely.  In spite of these rocky years, my daughter graduated from college with honors last May and is doing extremely well.  However, the years without her father were hell for her. With the help of a good counselor and lots of talking I think my daughter realizes none of this was her fault.  I would gladly exchange all of the child support I received to be able to change those years for her.  Shame on Enrique for walking out of his daughter's life.  You raised her for ten years, therefore she is your daughter.  You should be proud to be her father and thank God every day for having her in your life.  It is not her fault that her mother chose to have an affair and lie about it to you.

AMEN BROTHER AMEN

After watching the show today, I was struck by the influence the fathers present wife has over him. She or the mother of the child only cared about their own agenda. The Mother was quite wrong, the new wife was equally in the wrong. Her body language clearly showed her attitude about the child. I am not sure this was about money as much as control. The father should have made his own decision regarding the child. It was clear he allowed himself to be manipulated.

 

He was married to Maria who manipulated him, then he married again only to marry  a similar type woman.

 

Having worked in a field where the child was placed last , the child is better off without this man in her life.

 

BJ

YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE I FIND FUNNY IF MY HUSBAND WANTED A PATERNITY TEST DONE TO SEE IF MY SON IS HIS OR NOT  I WOULD LET HIM BUT MAN I'D BE PISSED AND YOU'D BET I'D NEVER TRUST HIM FULLY AGAIN IF HE CAN'T TRUST ME THEN WHAT HAS HE DONE.   SO IN THIS SITUATION THE WOMAN EVEN SAID THEY'RE RELATIONSHIP HAD ALREADY HAD ITS PROBLEMS SO HE IS EXPECTED TO ASK HIS WIFE WHOM HE'S SUPPOSED TO TRUST WITH HIS WHOLE HEART FOR A PATERNITY TEST EVEN THOUGH THEY WERE STILL MARRIED AND TRYING TO HAVE A NORMAL RELATIONSHIP..... YEAH THAT WOULD HAVE WENT OVER WELL ESPECIALLY IF SHE NEVER DID CHEAT ON HIM.  SO THE MAN IS GOING TO HAVE A HORRIBLE MARRIAGE AND POSSIBLY DIVORCE LATER ON BECAUSE HE DIDN'T TRUST HIS WIFE.... OR.... IF HE DOESN'T ASK AND GOD FORBIDS THEY STILL GET A DIVORCE LATER ON HE WILL BE PAYING FOR A CHILD NOT HIS OWN...... SOUNDS LIKE MEN ARE GETTING SCREWED ALL THE WAY AROUND