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Topic : 12/25 Parent Trap

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Created on : Friday, October 26, 2007, 02:49:00 pm

Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 10/29/07) Fraud. lies. conspiracy. They may sound like the latest Washington scandal, but these are allegations of exes at war over child support. Dr. Phil's guests claim they became victims of the perfect crime when they were led to believe they fathered a child that was not biologically their own and were forced to pay. First up, Enrique says he was shocked and angered to discover he was not the father of his youngest daughter, Selina, and that she was conceived during his ex-wife, Maria's, adulterous affair. Maria says he raised Selina but then abandoned her to save money. Why does Maria say Enrique's current wife is to blame for the fractured relationship? Next, 13-year-old Selina speaks one on one with Dr. Phil. Will she decide to let the man she once called Daddy back in her life? Then, Carnell Smith, who uses the online moniker, "Man4Justice," suffered a similar fate to Enrique, and but he fought and won. He says he's tired of seeing women trap men and get away with it. A heated debate ensues between him and feminist attorney, Gloria Allred, who argues that men like Enrique should continue to act as the father ... and continue paying! Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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bonitaharris

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October 29, 2007, 9:20 pm PDT

10/29 Parent Trap

Quote From: kathy1266

Dear Dr Phil,

I am a person who can personally relate to your show today...the people on it and to the children involved. The only difference is (praise the Lord) we had a happy ending. (to some degree) I am a 40 year old mother. My daughter is 22. She found out when she was about 13 that the father she knew and loved for all of her up bringing so far was NOT her biological father. Why was it questioned? When me and her daddy (as she knew him at about age 6) seperated and divorced she remembered issues being discussed between her father and I with regards to the paternity of her. She kept it tucked deeped inside until years later and one day out of the blue sitting in her bedroom...asked me about it. I knew deep inside my heart from the moment they told me at the age of 17 that I was pregnant that the man I was then with (but had split up with for about 6 wks) may not be the father of the child I was carrying. Scared and confused I panicked. I was already back with my boyfriend of 4 years (we met when i was 13). I knew my whole family just loved my boyfriend..he was like part of the family AND he loved me. I was the president of my Senior JVS class and so many of my friends considered me a leader...a role model. SO...I did what was best for my child and what was best for everybody else and married him to complete the "family" picture. We divorced, as I said, when she was about 6. I did have another child with my husband who was then 2 when we divorced. To make a long story short - my daughter did meet her biological father though her "daddy" of 13 years said he would NEVER leave her. She would ALWAYS be her daddy.

I thank God to this day that he found the love in his heart to stand by her, support her and continue to love her. Her real father basically came on strong then cut her out of his life after he went through his 4th divorce and for the FIRST time in his life had to start paying child support for another one his own children.

Dr Phil...for the mother...I am sure she loved her husband and knew she made a mistake by sleeping with another man during their troubled marriage. She wanted to keep her family together though it ate at her always. For the father...yes....he did this the wrong way. He was angry at his ex-wife and didnt think things through. For the child...I would say to her...dont be afraid to love your daddy. He loves you. He knows he was wrong. I know she loves him I could see it in her eyes after she watched the tape in the Green Room.

There has been so much finger pointing and blame that she is afraid to love him because she will hurt her mother and stepfather. Let her love...dont let her live with that anger. Lastly...for the new wife...GET A LIFE!

Ok so you "knew" from the first time you seen her. Lay off! Let the man do what he thinks is right and quit trying to control his emotions because you were right on this! Thanks Dr Phil. I love your show!

So you were just as a big a jerk as she was. You let that man pay child support for a child you knew was not his? That's the real issue here. Tell her the truth and let her make the decision. Tell him the truth and let him make the decision. Don't lie about it.

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kristibe3

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October 29, 2007, 9:21 pm PDT

my thoughts on this subject.

After watching this show today, my thoughts would be first and foremost for the child in that the relationship between father and child should have been ongoing without the child being told in the manner that she was. This first of all was very damaging to the child I believe. The mother was the one, obviously that created this mess in that she lied to her husband knowing full well it was possible he was not the father. Best case scenerio would have been for the father to get some guidance from a professional for direction in how to approach this situation. Since this did not happen, now that it's at the level that it is, could not the "father" begin to see the daughter and work through the difficult steps to recover the relationship that both parties would feel best with and the "father" not be liable for the child support. This could even be done with professional direction with both parties. I believe it would be a win win situation, where the father and daughter could still be a part of each others life and the mother would have to take the FULL responsilbity for the mess she originally created, in the financial sense. The father should not be held responsible for the financial support, yet the child and father still deserve and need to begin to mend the mess the mother created.

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charchaz

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October 29, 2007, 9:21 pm PDT

10/29 Parent Trap

I feel that if the man finds out through a DNA test that he is not the biological father of a child that he should not legally be FINANCIALLY responsible. It is the mothers responsibility she is an adult and can take care of her daughter and if she wants help financially she needs to search for the biological father. I think its very sad that he just abandoned her!! I think its the mothers fault she knew for years that this child was not his, had she came clean years ago all this heartache would have never happened. This lady gives us woman a bad name!!

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rathahonni

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October 29, 2007, 9:22 pm PDT

OUTRAGED!

Quote From: mylipsareseald

Some women don't deserve children. I also know a man in these shoes. His daughter was 15 when the truth came out. And it was all about the money with the mother. When she finally told the truth was when she could collect the real father's SSI. The real father never got to know his only child. He died of cancer. The mother never told the real father because he would have taken the girl away from her. The father had money and could have done that. This girl went through the first 6 years of her life thinking one man was her father then she was told another was her father, then when the DNA was done it was a third guy. The second guy got custody of her and raised her for 9 yrs. Needless to say this child (young lady) is very confused and angry. First of all she never got to know her father, then the man who raised her has anger toward the mother so he takes it out on her. She does not want to have anything to do with her mother. This woman has 5 kids and come to find out 3 different dads. Yet no one knew any of this until recently. The oldest is 25. The other 2 kids still don't know who their dad is. Two do know, cause of DNA and he raised them from birth. I think this kind of woman should be punished. The mental damage she does to a child with this is wordless.

THAT POOR MAN WHO SUBMITTED 2 DNA TESTS AND WAS TOLD BY THE COURT TO CONTINUE PAYING AND WAS TURNED DOWN BY THE APPELLATE COURT TO EVEN HEAR THE CASE.
IT MUST HAVE BEEN MADDENING,MY DEEPEST SYMPATHY.SHAME ON THE MOTHER FOR SUBMITTING THE CHILD TO THAT MESS.
I THINK THE REAL MESSAGE THE COURT WAS SENDING THAT MAN WAS WE DON'T KNOW WHOM OR WHERE THE BIOLOGICAL FATHER IS BUT WE HAVE YOU, SO KEEP PAYING AND WE WON'T HAVE TO.
THE GENES DID'NT FIT SO YOU CAN'T CONVICT!

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kdrago

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October 29, 2007, 9:23 pm PDT

Child should not suffer

I wish the justice system would really work for the benefit of the children. I do not think that the mother should earn child support for the child that she deceived the father to thinking was his. I agree that if the father didn't even know the mother cheated, then how could he question the paternity of the child. The statue of limitations should start when he found out that fraud and infidelity was committed.

I do not think that the father after 10 years should turn his back on his daughter but I do feel that he should not be ordered by the courts to pay support for said child.

I am sick of children having to suffer because of the selfishness of the parents.

However, it is not only fathers that don't pay their child support. My husband's ex-wife walked away from her children 5 years ago and owes thousands of dollars in support. She has abdandoned two sets of children and now has a new 1 year old. The system can't seem to make her pay support because she moved to other state and refuses to get a job.

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terrbin

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October 29, 2007, 9:23 pm PDT

10/29 Parent Trap

Quote From: suzanpet66

I'm so sick over this show. Because of this show, I registered on Drphil.com just to leave a message on the board.

Yes the child comes first. BUT the child would have never been in this position if her mother didn't lie in the first place. How selfish of that woman to string her husband along for all these years and taking a chance on her daughters emotions later in life. And then her expecting him to pay child support?!?!?!? Yes he raised the child for nine years, however, did so knowing that she was his daughter. I wonder if the mother had said something in the very beginning, what then would have happened? Who would then be the hurt ones? Just the adults? Would he have stayed around? That mother is HORRIBLE, DECEITFUL and just watching her snide expressions made me sick. Her expressions showed that all she cared about was to get him back for all he did.

The gentlemen sitting next to the loudmouth female attorney (can't stand her, feel she just wants to be in the lime light) should truly be a spokesman for all men going through this. He debated with loudmouth very well and put her in her place, in my opinion.

This is one show that made me sick to my stomach. That mother absolutely disgusted me. She just needs to leave be and let the lives of all be at peace and forget about MONEY. Money shouldn't even be a consideration. PEACE is all that should be consideredPEACE and the well being of her daughter.

DISGUSSTED!

I'm disgusted with her, too. But suggesting that the child pay the price by being abandoned by her father to pay for her mother's sins is equally disgusting.

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angperez

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October 29, 2007, 9:25 pm PDT

Shame on Mom!

I'm a 36 year mother and have a 15 year old son from a previous marriage.

It wasn't until my current/2nd marriage that I learned how easy it was for a woman to put anyone’s name on the birth certificate and collect support. It happened to my current husband when his ex girlfriend needed or wanted welfare/medical... all she had to do was indicate who the father was!... because she couldn't find the actual biological father... it was easy for her to write my husbands name down as the father since he is the father of the oldest. When we received the court orders for support, I encouraged the paternity test because she was still denying that she didn't write his name down. It took about 3 months and cost us about $2500 to prove he was NOT the father!

Why do we make it alright for a woman to play with everyone’s emotions when it comes to their kids? I know there are cases of men doing this too. But in this specific case… don’t blame the dad for stepping up then stepping down as his title and heart was ripped from him without warning. It was neither his fault nor the child’s and I agree the child should NOT have been put in the front line of the firing post!! The mother should pay a major price as she fraudulently accused an innocent man of a devastating lie! She played with everyone’s emotions for obvious financial support but at the expense of her daughters and ex-husband right to know… SHAME ON MOM!

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michoj

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October 29, 2007, 9:25 pm PDT

God Bless The Child

You know I am a little prejudiced on this issue in a childs favor. Courts and lawyers and families have taken the position for all the years I can remember that the child is resilient and will get over it. I was with my parents until age two and then they seperated and my mother placed me in a board and care home and took my four year old sister with her to live at her mothers. My father paid the board for me there and out of spite on a weekend visit he took me from TX to MO and dropped me off with his dad and stepmother who were in their sixties and whom I did not know. I lost my parents, sister, grandparents I did know, my home and all my belongings and it is a pain that maked me for life. I cannot imagine giving up any child that I had taken care of for any reason. It is not the childs fault what parents do and they do not ask to be born and brought into this world. I understand the anger at the mother but I agree with Dr. Phil it is superceded by all the years invested into this childs life. If the mother wanted to try to do the right thing now she would allow him to continue to be a part of the childs life and offer to drop the child support for her deception. Also at no time should the child know or be told of any financial issues. It makes them feel responsible for any hardship. I get so angry when any child is taken away from the only parent they have ever known. Look at all the surrogate issues and the mother changes her mind and it takes two or three years to work through the courts and then yank that child ffrom the only security thay have ever known kicking and crying . People need to be less concerned with their needs and being right or winning and more concerned with the welfare of the child. Dr. Phil has done enough shows on grown kids and all the issues they have from being abandoned and it seems to take the first three decades or more of your life to try to start resolving all the pain inflicted by the adults that act like spoiled children. Often time the children seem more mature then the parents. And if you think this is a rare occurence where does Maury Povich get all those shows for paternity tests. What a shame. Wake up America, lets get back to basics and try to show some grace to one another as the Lord did for all of us.

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linesider33

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October 29, 2007, 9:25 pm PDT

Unbelievable

i cant imagine what was going through enriquie's mind when he told his daughter that story at the park. bad choice. but, that nasty woman of an ex-wife. wow, she needs to be incarcerated. she looked like she didnt have a care in the world and all she wanted was money and wanted it now and she couldne believe he stopped paying child support for a kid that wasnt his. heres a clue, its not his kid. go find the real father, track him down , courts do it all the time. pay back all the money you owe him, stop lying. it never said if Selena was mad at her mom or not. i dont agree with a man paying for another man's child but hey this is america and government will screw you every chance they get. what a trifling woman.... ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh

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angiekay123

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October 29, 2007, 9:26 pm PDT

Mom should have to pay money back to Enrique

I think the mother should be held accountable here and she should be required to pay money back to Enrique (?). I also think the real father should be found and ordered to pay support to the mom for the child. What this mom did is wrong! Also, I think the father daughter relationship should be repaired the best it can be repaired. It is a shame that this man retatilated in a way that hurt this girl.

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