Topic : 12/25 Parent Trap

Dr Phil,

I just seen your show on Parent Trap 10-29-07, I wanted to write and share my story; again.  I have written you before, but not very much detail.  So I will try again.   I was a mother of four children, son, daughter and twins.  All born during the course of two marriages.  The first two came from the first marriage, when I separated from their father their was no questions of whom was the father, given the fact that the son whom was in a sense the mini version of the father, and the daughter the mini version of myself .   As I continue on with my life with two children in tow.  I was soon was  face raising children alone with no finincial support or father figure.  The Twins however; was a different story, I was seeing a man whom was married,  I was single.   I begin to see my then furture husband (currently divorced) whom at the time was living with another female.  I slept with both men with unprotected sex within weeks apart.  I soon became pregnant and unsure of the father.  Too my suprise I found out that I was pregnant with twins very soon.   I never told the married man that I was pregnant and the future ex-husband I told was the father! (he was aware that I was seeing another man that was married).  Single and a mother of two children already, I did not wish to have more children and no father to help with raising them.  So I approached my ex-husband with the option to pay half the cost of an abortion.  He refused stating he did not belive in abortion.  "A good guy"  having failed at my first marriage and face with raising two children on my own.  I insisted that if I was to have the twins they were not goint to be born out of wedlock.  So we got married, fast forward 8 years and two separations later. I sat down with my 2nd ex-husband and explain that I did not want to be married and that coming back was a mistake.  I also explained that I was not sure if he was infact the father of the twins, He promptly told me to leave and I could take the two older children with me then he stated that infact I should take all the kids.  I left the twins there and left with two.   At this time I first realized that I really did not want none of the children.   I begin to do some research on termination of parental rights (curosity  mostly; due to the abandonment of my first ex-husband to the first two children) and became interested in what methods/circumstances a mother could terminate her rights.  What I found out is that this is mostly normally done through state agency's, confinment-jail/prison, drug use, abuse/neglect, mentally unstable, adoption and finally criminal charges.  Since the children were african american, and older (not infants/toddlers) adoption was not going to happen-atlease not as quick as I would want it to and for all four.  No chance I would fall into any of the other categorys; however, I did have some bad check charges-criminal charges having been filed already.  Next there was the money issue-how was this going to be paid!!  On one night, I was successful in obtaining my goal, by accident of course and never planned.  I managed to get myself in full complete trouble with the law.  I was charged with tresspassing into the home I once shared with my ex-husband (no property settlement done-during the course of the divorce) and property damage, having spent the entire month of December to include x-mass in jail.  (which is nothing more to do but think about your life and actions) When I was release to supervised probation and 3 yrs of mental couseling.  I promptly filed for termination of parental rights to all children and bankruptcy,  went to my first session of mental couseling and recieved my "good bill of mental health statement" .  All this was done before my first appointment with the probation officier,  having provided documentation of my recent actions.  I was realease from 3 years of supervised probation.  My ex-husband was quick to inform my family of my actions and they rallied behind him in regards to the children.  As correctly so.  They work together to arrange to have two of the children sent to them to take care of.  Since I did not wish to have contact with the children and wanted the children to be raised together and not with my family.  I notified the children welfare office and the local DA office, inform them of the termination of parental rights and the fact that the children were a ward of the state were my ex lived.  The children were returned to my ex-husband.   As I always knew "He was a good guy" he is currently raising all four children.  When people ask the question "do you have children, I say the truth; I do not have children and that was by choice.  How is this working for me.  I am happy, no regrets.  It was in the best interest of the children.   It simply was not for me.  You may wonder why I wrote you this.  Because my ex-husband is currently living in a legal parent trap. 

Curlie

California

Carnell you have done more damage to women everywhere trying to get what they need to raise their children.  Paternity fraud is no where near the crime that DEADBEAT dads are.  Shame on you for thinking a couple dudes paying for kids is such an issue--if your out running like a dog I am sure you got a baby out there somewhere-go ahead and pay for one and hope someone else pays for yours.

Dr Phil,

I just seen your show on Parent Trap 10-29-07, I wanted to write and share my story; again.  I have written you before, but not very much detail.  So I will try again.   I was a mother of four children, son, daughter and twins.  All born during the course of two marriages.  The first two came from the first marriage, when I separated from their father their was no questions of whom was the father, given the fact that the son whom was in a sense the mini version of the father, and the daughter the mini version of myself .   As I continue on with my life with two children in tow.  I was soon was  face raising children alone with no finincial support or father figure.  The Twins however; was a different story, I was seeing a man whom was married,  I was single.   I begin to see my then furture husband (currently divorced) whom at the time was living with another female.  I slept with both men with unprotected sex within weeks apart.  I soon became pregnant and unsure of the father.  Too my suprise I found out that I was pregnant with twins very soon.   I never told the married man that I was pregnant and the future ex-husband I told was the father! (he was aware that I was seeing another man that was married).  Single and a mother of two children already, I did not wish to have more children and no father to help with raising them.  So I approached my ex-husband with the option to pay half the cost of an abortion.  He refused stating he did not belive in abortion.  "A good guy"  having failed at my first marriage and face with raising two children on my own.  I insisted that if I was to have the twins they were not goint to be born out of wedlock.  So we got married, fast forward 8 years and two separations later. I sat down with my 2nd ex-husband and explain that I did not want to be married and that coming back was a mistake.  I also explained that I was not sure if he was infact the father of the twins, He promptly told me to leave and I could take the two older children with me then he stated that infact I should take all the kids.  I left the twins there and left with two.   At this time I first realized that I really did not want none of the children.   I begin to do some research on termination of parental rights (curosity  mostly; due to the abandonment of my first ex-husband to the first two children) and became interested in what methods/circumstances a mother could terminate her rights.  What I found out is that this is mostly normally done through state agency's, confinment-jail/prison, drug use, abuse/neglect, mentally unstable, adoption and finally criminal charges.  Since the children were african american, and older (not infants/toddlers) adoption was not going to happen-atlease not as quick as I would want it to and for all four.  No chance I would fall into any of the other categorys; however, I did have some bad check charges-criminal charges having been filed already.  Next there was the money issue-how was this going to be paid!!  On one night, I was successful in obtaining my goal, by accident of course and never planned.  I managed to get myself in full complete trouble with the law.  I was charged with tresspassing into the home I once shared with my ex-husband (no property settlement done-during the course of the divorce) and property damage, having spent the entire month of December to include x-mass in jail.  (which is nothing more to do but think about your life and actions) When I was release to supervised probation and 3 yrs of mental couseling.  I promptly filed for termination of parental rights to all children and bankruptcy,  went to my first session of mental couseling and recieved my "good bill of mental health statement" .  All this was done before my first appointment with the probation officier,  having provided documentation of my recent actions.  I was realease from 3 years of supervised probation.  My ex-husband was quick to inform my family of my actions and they rallied behind him in regards to the children.  As correctly so.  They work together to arrange to have two of the children sent to them to take care of.  Since I did not wish to have contact with the children and wanted the children to be raised together and not with my family.  I notified the children welfare office and the local DA office, inform them of the termination of parental rights and the fact that the children were a ward of the state were my ex lived.  The children were returned to my ex-husband.   As I always knew "He was a good guy" he is currently raising all four children.  When people ask the question "do you have children, I say the truth; I do not have children and that was by choice.  How is this working for me.  I am happy, no regrets.  It was in the best interest of the children.   It simply was not for me.  You may wonder why I wrote you this.  Because my ex-husband is currently living in a legal parent trap. 

Curlie

California