Topic : 12/25 Parent Trap

I find it appalling that Enrique's new wife feels the need to get so involved.

She is a embarrassment to the female gender, in terms of her behavior in this situation. If all of us stuck our nose into and judged the circumstances of two consenting adults in a previous relationship, none of our marriages would work. 

As for all the focus being on Maria's lying? lets just look @ who lied first!  Did Enrique not vow to LOVE, HONOR & CHERISH Maria? is it possible that he neglected his wife? after all he is an MD??  I don't know any women that if they felt Loved, Honored  & Cherished , would feel the need to seek out extra marital affairs.

 Maria may have made a darn bad decision, however I did not hear Enrique Deny having intimate relations in his marriage? If that were the case he may have questioned it sooner. So now we have a wife that finds herself with child , there is a 50/50 chance that her husband is the father, they have another child together - Would you tell or try to work it out? Maybe he has started paying more attention? There could be a chance?  

All in all the marriage did end and still he did not question!  He raised that child as his own, what kind of person loves a child as their own and suddenly no longer cares if they have the basic needs!

Enrique you just let another women take advantage of you and allowed yourself to get caught up in being the victim, when everyone BUT! your new wife, was a victim.

I am baffeled with the nerve of this woman and others like her to think that they can go about robbing the biological father from his birth right, lying to her unsuspecting husband who obviously loved her to not question or suspect his dear wife would lie and cheat, and to top that off LIE to the CHILD and ROB him/her of ever knowing his/her BIO-FATHER!  (I am not talking about Adoption here were both BIO Parents are givin an option) Im talking about Fathers being CHEATED by women who trap them, whom cheat, lie, betray, and ultimately distroy! 

I agree that the Man who cared for the child all these years ought to carry on a relationship, but he shouldn't have to PAY child support to the woman who lied and cheated the child, bio-father, and dad! HE should be given the opportunity to willingly give what the child needs to the child, New Clothes, Food, whatever, BUT to be FORCED to pay the ex-wife for the child is down right WRONG!

The biofather should be told, he should pay and he should be given the opportunity to decide if whether or not he wants to give up his birth right to his child so that this New man in this womans life could adopt. What if that BIO-Father wants to step up to the plate and get to know the child he didn't know exsited and pay the child support he missed out on! (what if)

Grrr, that woman really screwed with 3 peoples lives and she thinks its funny and shes totally un remorseful for her actions! THE LAW OUGHT TO BE CHANGED!

Women who commit adultry get pregnant then commit parental fraud OUGHT to be PUNISHED! This is NOT FAIR to the Spouse of a cheating wife nor to the biological father nor the child!   

And to the know it all high profile attorney........THIS IS A GROWING PROBLEM IT IS COMMON IN AMERICA COME BACK FROM WHERE EVER YOU ARE....THIS IS AMERICA PROTECT THE WOMAN FRAUD THE MAN! PARENT TRAPPING MORE COMMON IN AMERICA NOWADAYS!

IT HIT MY FAMILY......ADULTEROUS SISTER IN LAW GETS PREGNANT NOW MY BROTHER HAS TO PAY FOR THIS CHILD AND MY BROTHER HASN'T SEEN HIS WIFE IN OVER 3 YEARS! THE BABY BORN THIS YEAR!

This isn't right this is not fair!

DR. PHIL: This is the first time your show has pissed me off! (smiling) Now I have a registry on your site and I have watched your programs for years!  I have this show recorded so I can share it with others

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i just posted  my comments 5 minutes ago,,,i think it takes awhile for them to post..  i truly believe  what  this person said  (People who experience these situations are truely the only ones who should be allowwed to comment. ) this is my story....... my daughters name is shelly ( not her real name.). i forgot  what the message title  was..it starts out as.................

      I have been divorced for 4 years now...my then  husband who raised my daughter who is almost 16  then was 12  her  entire life, decided that he was no  longer her father once our divorce was taking place..

.

i also think that until u have walked in my shoes ... please do not  judge me harshly....

Women who rip off men like Maria do it because they KNOW there are no repercussions, and the courts will do nothing to them. Take it from one who's been on the receiving end. The screwing you get ain't worth the screwing you got.

I believe that a woman if she has any doubts regarding paternity, she should imediately let her partner know. There should be a new law that every child born be tested before a father signs any papers. That should just be the law, but that's a whole different story.

Back to the subject, Maria did wrong by first lying to her husband, she was wrong in letting this lie get bigger and lying to her daughter. She knew the truth all along. So, yeah they brake up and then she wants to hold him responsible for child support. That is wrong. The court holds him responsible because the child was born in the marriage and because he signed the birth certificate. The real father should be responsible in this case and should be held accountable to pay all past due child support.

I don't believe the real father should be walking the streets free of all responsibility.

 Maria should have to pay back her ex for all the money that has been paid to her for Selina. She should have to take responsibility of her own actions and deal with the consequences.

I know every case is unique and that this type of cases are sometimes hard to prove. In this case however,

Maria admitted to lying to her ex and maybe he can use that as evidence in court to free himself  from all responsibily. Why is Maria letting the real father go free?

There is no saying how the father in this case should act,  I believe he should have seeked professional help before making any decisions. It is his decision to continue a relationship with Selina or not but he shouldn't be expected to and he wouldn't be wrong if he decided to stay out of Selina's life. Who is one to judge?

I know Selina is only a child and doesn't understand much, I see she sees her father as the monster in this story, let's not forget it was the mother who lied to everyone. Selina should be mad at her momfor lying to her all this years and  and try to understand her dad or man, he was just a victim just like her and well he didn't have the answers at the moment.  Maybe she can look past his incorrect actions and understand his position in the matter and  that we all make mistakes. Selina is very young and maybe one day she'll come to see this.

That lady should be ashamed for what she did and how dare her expect any more money from her ex.

I relate to this case because I went throgh a similar situation and that's why I dare to comment.

Although different, very similar.

 I am having trouble getting the real father to pay child support. That is who should be held responsible. This lady Allred doesn't know what she is talking about.

Please Dr. Phil, I hope you address the child support issue more. It seems that people are afraid to talk about it. Thanks!

The show today was really troubling for me. This woman who had lied to her husband for over ten years is discussing. How can anyone base their relationship on lies and deceit? What really bothered me  was she continued to laugh and nod her head in agreement with everything she did to hurt her child and her husband. And we wonder why the morals of our country have continued to be destroyed. Many of our lawyers and our laws have gone  from reasonable to totally unreasonable. Either you are right or wrong, but in todays world Grey seems to be the color of the day. Yes the children are the most important issues, but my God the adult have to that the responsibility for all of their actions.

I personally think this woman should have to pay back all the monies that were given to her for child support and she should be made accountable for her actions. Dr Phil, you we pretty hard on the father, however I want to remind you he would have never reacted this way if his wife would not have lied to him.

I think everyone one on your show acted badly but the bottom line is that the child was not his and he should not have to pay child support. That's why they have paternity tests. He should have still been in the childs life the way he was before but he should not have to pay and the lawyer you had on the show saying otherwise was ridiculous. She was talking mostly from a moral standpoint which is not the issue. You need to seperate what should be done morally from the legal aspect. Saying that the childs best interests should come first doesn't negate the fact that the child is not his. Yes, he should have handled things differently. Yes he should still be in her life, loving her, nuturing her, caring for her like a father would. No one is going to disagree. But he should not be respondsible financially. The whole debate was frustrating that there is even an issue with that in my opinion. Woman are just as responsible as men are. Men are not a paycheck. I don't think woman give enough thought to what it must be like to be on the other foot in a divorce or similar situation as this. How would you feel if you could no longer tuck your children in at night. Were reduced to seeing them only every other weekend. Were told the child that you brought up all those years wasn't yours. The fact is, is that the child was his emotionally and how he walked away from her I can only imagine was a reflection of the hurt he must have been going through. It was hard to imagine someone walking away from a child they've raised all that time because of a piece of paper and now he'll have to live with that the rest of his life as well but the mother should take responsibility and go after the father for support if it's needed. That said we can only pray that they all get the heeling they need and the adults make the right decisions for the children moving forward.

Cindy

The father was wrong in the way he told the child about her paternity, but I feel it is wrong for a man to have to pay for a child that isn't his if he did not know the child wasn't his from the beginning.  IF he knew, and accepted the child, then on down the line decided to not pay support, he should be held responsible. The man on the show had no idea and should not have to pay. I am sick and tired of women deciving men over paternity. They should be honest so that the situation won't come back and bite them later. Look at the damage the mother on the show inadvertently did to her child by not being honest.  Child support is very expensive. Some men have had to move in with their parents or get roomates in order to make these payments. I know a man who is paying for a child that is not his.  When he found out, and went to court, the judge made him pay. He can barely make ends meet. Instead of paying for his three biological children, the children get less because he pays for a chlid that isn't his. In some cases if a man pays before a test is done and he is not the father, the judge will not grant him his money back, stating it was a gift. Men are going to start not paying until they are proven the father and the child and mom  will suffer for this,