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Topic : 12/25 Parent Trap

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Created on : Friday, October 26, 2007, 02:49:00 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 10/29/07) Fraud. lies. conspiracy. They may sound like the latest Washington scandal, but these are allegations of exes at war over child support. Dr. Phil's guests claim they became victims of the perfect crime when they were led to believe they fathered a child that was not biologically their own and were forced to pay. First up, Enrique says he was shocked and angered to discover he was not the father of his youngest daughter, Selina, and that she was conceived during his ex-wife, Maria's, adulterous affair. Maria says he raised Selina but then abandoned her to save money. Why does Maria say Enrique's current wife is to blame for the fractured relationship? Next, 13-year-old Selina speaks one on one with Dr. Phil. Will she decide to let the man she once called Daddy back in her life? Then, Carnell Smith, who uses the online moniker, "Man4Justice," suffered a similar fate to Enrique, and but he fought and won. He says he's tired of seeing women trap men and get away with it. A heated debate ensues between him and feminist attorney, Gloria Allred, who argues that men like Enrique should continue to act as the father ... and continue paying! Talk about the show here.


Find out what happened on the show.


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October 30, 2007, 2:09 am PDT

How Sad

I felt sorry for the dad. It was clear he loved his daughter and lashed out at his wife over her betrayal  using the only weapons he had - money and his daughter. My heart goes out to his daughter because while her dad's rejection of her isn't 'about her' she is the one feeling it. I remember a friend commenting that even though she knew her husband didn't die on purpose to hurt her, his death still felt as if he had abandoned her. So the daughter will need help in not taking things personally. At the same time the mother seems to have no real regret over her actions and can't see that what she set in motion was damaging.

I do believe she needed to have her family cared for financially and so she lied. She's the one who has focused on money all along - even though she's saying that the dad is only taking action for money. That's exactly what she did!

I'm sure Gloria A. is a good lawyer however I have found her views lacking in balance - she's not someone I would listen to.

We are working hard to get rid of double standards and this is one. We've heard of deadbeat dads. Well what about moms who falsely trap men into marriage? What are the consequences for such action?

I believe the dad really cares and while I understand his anger and sense of betrayal, his daughter really loves him and he loves her. He may not be her biological father but he is her dad. Nothing can change that.

 
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October 30, 2007, 2:14 am PDT

Biological Fathers can be a Victim

In our case, the biological father is the victim.  He was sent adoption papers and a waiver of notice.  We heard nothing for 6 years and as soon as we moved away we recieved child support papers with arrearage.  We thought the child was adopted but since the judge never signed them (which we didn't know)  we are financially responsible.  The child does not even know his biological father exists and calls the other guy dad.  We do not automatically get visitation rights and we now live far away which makes it hard to see the child but we  are still financially responsible.  It is not fair that the mother isn't held responsible in any way for what she has done.
 
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October 30, 2007, 2:26 am PDT

Maria, SOLELY, is responsible for any and all harm done to her daughter

When Maria lied about Enrique’s paternity of her daughter, she laid the groundwork for the pain and suffering of her unborn (innocent) child.  In choosing not to tell Enrique that he may not be the father of her unborn child says she has no respect for his feelings or his rights.  But, her lie also says she does not love her daughter because she allowed her daughter to live her whole life as a lie – this was no little lie, but a lie of life changing magnitude.  Her current husband should be concerned that if she could do something like this to her former husband what is to prevent her from doing the same to him because she did not appear to be remorseful for her misbehavior, in the least – she’s only sorry she got caught.

 

Watching her sit there on the Dr. Phil stage with her indignation accusing her ex-husband of being responsible for the pain caused to her daughter made women look like horrible individuals.

 

Gloria Allred also made us women look like horrible human beings and should be ashamed of herself for arguing that Enrique should continue paying child support for a child that is not biologically his based on the belief of a lie told to him by Maria.  For the record, in this situation, I am totally against Maria and Gloria Allred for the negative picture they have painted of us women as mothers, wives and fellow human beings.  To Gloria I say, supporting women and children’s rights does not equate to denying men their rights.  We want men to respect us as women and we have to respect them as men and fellow human beings.

 

I respect Dr. Phil’s not wanting to make children a part of adult situations, but I so much wanted him to find a way to communicate to Selina (in age appropriate language) the responsibility that belongs to her mother for creating the situation that Selina is now in because Selina’s perspective is too one-sided and not fair to Enrique and the betrayal and pain he suffered by Maria’s lie.

 
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October 30, 2007, 2:36 am PDT

Parent Trap ---What a mess!!!

I have never been sooo moved to speak out about a Dr Phil segment as I am about this one!  How embarrased I am for this mother. Her self righteous, smug and down right idiotic thinking is a discredit to women EVERY WHERE!  She caused this pain in her daughters life, but unfortunately the innocent child is paying for it. WHAT THE HECK WAS SHE THINKIN???  Her attitude was very disturbing. I hope she can be sued for causing such emotional distress to her own child and ordered to pay back every dime this man has paid for supporting her lie plus punitive damages! I think that the focus is on the money NOT the child because it was the NEW WIFE who stuck her teeth into this issue when it  should have been the father who took the lead.  But the messenger does not change the mess-age!  MAN UP WOMEN!  You have what you have because you do what you do!  If she did not lie in the beginning her daughter would not have the heartbreak that she obviously has now and will have FOREVER!!  If fathers can be put in jail for NOT paying child support then women who committ such fraud should be jailed, sued and held financially accountable for our actions!  I am sooo sick of the Twinkie Defense and this woman makes women look stupid!  We, as women, can NOT have equal rights if we are NOT willing to have equal punishment!  She should be ashamed, sued and be held accountable for her actions! Im simply outraged at this pathetic excuse of a woman!!
 
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October 30, 2007, 2:42 am PDT

10/29 Parent Trap

 
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October 30, 2007, 2:42 am PDT

Gloria Allred is biased

“The real problem in this country is something totally different. It’smillions of fathers avoiding and evading their responsibility to paytheir court-ordered child support in this country to the children whoare theirs and forcing mothers onto welfare.”

The above was quoted from Gloria Allred, after her arguments were torn apart time after time.  The last argument to be shredded was her saying that paternity fraud is rare in this country, in which she was presented with facts that 1 out of 3 men are the victims of paternity fraud.

She came back with the above quote.  So aparently, since there are so many dead-beat fathers out there, it's okay to pin the financial burdon of a child on the occasional innocent man.

That is completely unfair.  Ms. Allred came to the show with zero facts or figures to back her hallow arguements.  It almost appeared as if she was there just to promote her book, which was mentioned at least three times in the the last 15 minutes of the program.

She argued that the child is the most important aspect of this situation, which I agree with.  However she focused so much on the child because she new she could not successfully debate two men that were arguing for fairness in our court systems.

When directly asked by Dr. Phil if a man who has been a father to a child for almost ten years should be financially responsible for the child in the future, Ms. Allred went on a wild tangent explaining how wrong Enrique was to approach the child the way he did, and potentially scar the child for life.  In no way during her 30 second rant did she even try to touch on the financial side of this issue, which was the core topic of the debate.

Enrique did approach this situation wrongly.  He realizes that and even expresses that he regrets that day and his actions.  He wants to have a relationship with Selina and realizes he screwed things up big time.  He is taking personaly responsibility for his actions.

However, there is no reason why Enrique cannot be a father to Selina, but not bear the financial burdon.  He should not have to pay for another man's child.  Yes, the welfare of the child is the most important part of this whole situation, however that should not rest on Enrique's shoulders for one day longer.

It enrages me that Ms. Allred could argue for the mother in this case and bear no emotion towards the way Enrique has been victimized.  She obviously did zero research regarding this matter, as was very evident when saying this problem is very rare in this country, when in fact 1/3 of all men are the victim of paternity fraud.

Being a feminist lawyer is one thing, but being completely biased towards a mother who has blatenly commited paternity fraud, and using the child's emotions as leverage in a public argument with a predominantly female audience is another thing.
 
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October 30, 2007, 2:48 am PDT

what Is VAWA

Quote From: no_justice

Can you explain what VAWA  and Title IVD are? Are these organizations in Chicago, Illinois? I have never heard of either. I would like to know if they can assist me. I do not receive child support. I want my children to receive their child support money or the biological father should give up all of his legal rights. I am raising my children by myself.
The Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) was passed into law in 1994 during the Bill Clinton administration. As seasoned lawyers, Bill and Hillary Clinton knew and understood that VAWA violates the Constitutional guarantee of “equal protection under the law” because VAWA provides a financial incentive to target and prosecute men - just as in the Duke lacrosse case. Bill Clinton signed the Act into law knowing full well that it is an unconstitutional law. VAWA provides billions of dollars of financial boon to the legal industry to which he and Hillary have an allegiance. And, false prosecutions provide a “legal tool” to be used to destroy men and families - or for women to gain the upper hand in acrimonious divorces.



Various groups have voiced concern that VAWA violates due process, equal protection and other civil rights. The American Civil Liberties Union described VAWA as "troubling" and declared that the penalties were rash and the increased pretrial detention was "repugnant" to the US Constitution. The lacrosse players were paraded in front of the media as rapists when Michael Nifong’s prosecutors knew they were innocent.



Dr. Stephen Baskerville, professor of government at Patrick Henry College states that false prosecutions are “the greatest and most destructive civil rights abuse in America today.”



District Attorney Nifong belongs to a legal profession where government lawyers across the country plunder the Violence Against Women Act by treating every allegation of rape or abuse made by women seriously, no matter how weak or absurd the allegation may be.



Since 1994, police departments have trained their officers to arrest the man whenever there is a domestic violence call – because there is a financial incentive to arrest the man and no financial incentive to arrest the woman. Now, no matter who started the domestic dispute, the man will be arrested because the arrest generates federal VAWA money for the police department. Fathers Rights Organizations across the country have been complaining about this for years.



The states train their judges as well as their prosecutors to also discriminate against and prosecute innocent men. If you think District Attorney Nifong was overly enthusiastic to prosecute, consider the fact that when a woman shows at court to accuse her husband or lover of abuse, the court holds a secret hearing in which a restraining order is almost automatically issued against the man. These secret hearings are sometimes called ex-parte hearings. The judge issues the restraining order even though the “accused” wasn’t informed that the hearing was taking place, and was provided no opportunity to confront his accuser or defend against the [false] allegations in any way.



Social workers such as Lisa Tsiesen Gary of Beth Israel Hospital in Boston, regularly submitted “clinical evaluations” condemning men as abusers after Ms. Gary interview only the woman. Ms. Gary admitted she “almost never interviews the abuser,” as she refers to the male subjects of her “clinical evaluations.” The evaluations of social workers such as Ms. Gary that contain only information presented by the woman are considered “clinical” evaluations by judges and prosecutors across America.



David Douglas, a social worker who boasts he “trains Massachusetts judges, court personnel, police and social workers” also submitted “clinical evaluations” to the court that condemn men as abusers without ever having interviewed them. Mr. Douglas repeated the woman’s statements in his evaluations as fact, without asking the man for any statements.



“They’ve created a new set of crimes,” says Massachusetts Judge Milton Raphaelson. The “new” crimes the judge pointed to are non-crimes such as unintentionally violating a (false) restraining order. Judge Raphaelson explained that men are arrested because they were in a mall or supermarket when their estranged wives who had a restraining order against them showed up. She called the police and the man was arrested even though the police understood that the man was in the supermarket only to shop and had no idea his estranged wife would show up. The police arrest him because his ”crime” is an opportunity for the police to “earn” VAWA money.



“Men such as these are regularly imprisoned,” said Judge Raphaelson “not because they committed a crime,” but as a result of judges and police trained to “create” violence against women to tap into the billions of dollars in VAWA money.



As an example, Massachusetts Judge Beverly Boorstein issued a restraining order against Mr. Daniel Iagatta, a quadriplegic confined to a wheelchair or hospital bed, because Mr.. Iagatta’s wife, who is divorcing him, requested a restraining order saying she was “afraid” of him. Mr. Iagatta cannot sit upright without being helped to do so. The legally defined standard for issuing a restraining order is “the threat of imminent serious physical harm.” But, Judge Boorstein issued the restraining order against Mr. Iagatta and “created” another instance of violence against women. Judge Boorstein is typical of state judges across the land who ignore the law that restraining orders be issued only when there is a threat of “imminent serious physical harm” and issue restraining orders based on a woman’s claim of “fear.”



Judge Beverly Boorstein, like Michael Nifong, was caught illegally altering evidence to “find” men guilty of abuse. Judge Boorstein had court hearing tapes edited, the docket doctored and she refused to allow Mr. Iagatta tapes or transcripts of secret hearings she held in his case. Massachusetts Superior Court and Appeals Court have also been caught altering public records. The Massachusetts Attorney General’s Office chose not to defend against these very allegations in federal court.

Superior Court Judge Hiller B. Zobel was caught threatening a father and his attorney for submitting court-certified documents that had been illegally altered to “create” abuse.



Massachusetts Governor Deval Patrick, a lawyer, has been given forensic reports containing affidavits of three eyewitnesses and the reports of three audio engineers who found Judge Boorstein’s hearing tapes were altered to remove testimony the three eyewitnesses stated under oath occurred at trial.



To date, Governor Patrick has done nothing regarding the crimes of prosecutors and judges in Massachusetts because these false prosecutions bring hundreds of millions of dollars to Massachusetts and the legal industry to which he belongs each year. Quadriplegic, Dan Iagatta, lost his wheelchair-equipped house via an order issued by Judge Boorstein to pay for expenses such as a court-appointed Guardian ad Litum, which is mandated by law to be paid for by the court.



Lawyers and judges are manipulating evidence not only to destroy well-to-do families such as the Duke lacrosse players’ families, it is well documented they manipulate evidence to destroy a quadriplegic’s life and end his relationship with his children.



The financial incentive of VAWA is clearly being plundered. Judge Milton Raphaelson sat on the Worcester District Court bench for ten years and stated that he experienced, “about 60% of all restraining order violations were based on false allegations of abuse.” The Duke lacrosse prosecutions and Mr. Iagatta’s case illustrate Judge Raphaelson’s experience that “most allegations” of violence against women are based on false allegations.



What happens to the women who are caught bringing false allegations to prosecutors and to the courts? The same thing that happened to the stripper who falsely accused the Duke lacrosse players – absolutely nothing. What happens to prosecutors such as Michael Nifong and judges who are caught plundering federal funds with cases they know are fraudulent?



Michael Nifong was temporarily disbarred and imprisoned for one day for falsely prosecuting the Duke lacrosse payers. But, asks legal scholars “why isn’t he being prosecuted for plundering federal VAWA money?” The U.S. Attorney’s Office understands Nifong prosecuted the Duke players to plunder federal funds, but why isn’t the U.S. Attorney’s Office prosecuting Nifong, Judge Beverly Boorstein or social workers, Lisa Gary or David Douglas? They are all part of a legal industry that clearly plunders billions of dollars of taxpayer money each year under the guise of protecting women. When 60% of the cases are based on false allegations, society is asking if VAWA was ever about protecting women or merely a boon for the legal industry?



“Government officials who exercise virtually absolute control over the private lives of Americans have never been held accountable to anyone,” reveals Dr. Baskerville. They represent “the most destructive and dangerous abuse of power in America today.”



The Legislative branch of government that passed VAWA in 1994 knew - as lawmakers - that the Act was unconstitutional when they voted to pass the law. The founders of this country warned against electing lawyers to the Legislature as they were afraid of the innate conflict of interest of legal professionals “making laws” that would benefit themselves. VAWA is an example of this conflict of interest of which the founders of the Constitution warned.



Since 1994, the Judicial branch of government has known that VAWA violates “equal protection under the law” but has refused to strike it down as unconstitutional because it provides billions of dollars a year to the legal profession to which they belong and have ultimate allegiance.



Since 1994, millions of families such as the three Duke players’ families have been destroyed by legal professionals such as Nifong solely to plunder federal funds without any thought whatever to the men and families that they destroy. Statistics reveal that more American families will be destroyed by law enforcement such as in the Duke lacrosse case than Al Qaeda ever could.



District Attorneys, judges, social workers “don’t want to know” that the allegations are false because then they would lose the funding from the VAWA. The lacrosse players told the media that if they “didn’t come from well-off families, they wouldn’t have won.” This statement sheds light on a major problem facing our country.



“Committees were formed, jobs were created, and money generated by creating a new set of crimes,” said Judge Raphaelson. The Duke lacrosse players know what it is like to be the “new” criminal. One of the “new crimes” is to be falsely accused of rape or abuse by a woman.



Think about how much money is transferred to the legal industry from the Duke rape case alone. We have District Attorney Nifong bringing in large amounts of VAWA federal funding into his department to prosecute the Duke students. Secondly, there’s the examination and physical and mental care of the “rape victim.” This is performed by social workers and women’s programs caseworkers. All of these people operate under the presumption that the “victim” is telling the truth to the point that everyone noted during the media sensationalism during the case.



Then, there are the three defense teams for the Duke students. They took one million dollars collectively from the three Duke athletes’ families to defend against the false prosecution. None seem to talk about the plundering of federal funds by Nifong and his counterparts across the country - as they and the rest of the legal industry benefit from the false allegations also.



How much of these millions of dollars went to the “rape victim?” None. All of it went to prosecutors, case-workers, courts and the state – all of whom have a vested interest in the “rape victims” false allegations.



The legal industry to which both the prosecution and defendants’ legal teams belong is thriving while knowingly destroying and/or allowing the innocent defendants to be destroyed – along with their entire families.



Dr. Stephen Baskerville describes prosecutors and judges that allow false allegations of abuse as “a government-run system that tears apart families, confiscates the wealth of families, and turns law-abiding citizens into criminals in ways they are powerless to avoid.”



“What we have in this country is a situation where the judiciary and the Bar (attorneys) run a racketeering scheme where they extort money from people under color of law,” says former lawyer Else Baumgartner. “The legal industry has ‘created crimes’ before. Prohibition and the War Against Drugs just to name a few,” stated Baumgartner.



“They’ve created an industry out of nothing,” revealed Judge Milton Raphaelson. “They set up committees, wrote laws, created jobs,” he explained. “It’s a trick they’ve played on all of us.”
 

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October 30, 2007, 2:48 am PDT

The Truth

Quote From: luz1967

When I seen the clip last week for this show, I broke into tears the moment that little girl sad her father did not want to be her father anymore.  It simply broke my heart in two. 

 

I could not watch the show tonight.  I could not bare it. 

 

I have a cheating father with 4 children from another woman so I can relate.

 

You know what my mother taught me at a very young age?...  You never blame the children for the parents mistakes.   

 

What kind of person walks out the door on a little girl?  What kind of Man are you?  Money or not, this little person had a Daddy and you took that from her.  She will NEVER be the same.   You should have never included this little girl with your resentment towards the mother.  You should have never let that beautiful baby know this was about money!  You should have never stopped loving her.  You should have continued being her father regardless of the circumstances. 

 

As for the little girls mother, she is despicable.  She should not make that man pay her.  She is wrong.  Its people like her that make this world so dysfunctional.   

 

For the record, she will blame you when she gets old enough to understand you are a liar and a cheat.  You are pathetic and you are the type of people I don't want around in my world. 

 

Its not about the MONEY people.  Its about human kindness and the vulnerability of a child.  You can't do this to a child.  MAN UP!

 

 I was going to write my own message but after reading yours I didn't have to. Your message is the only one that expresses exactly how I feel. Your message speaks truth. It is about human kindness and the only time I saw that was when Dr. Phil was talking to Salina in private. This is about the child!  (And I truly doubt that anyone could really see what Enrique's new honey was really doing.) Your message was the only one I could find on this message board on this subject that spoke the truth in in matter. What does Dr. Phil teach us??? You either get it or you don't...I truly wonder how many really "get it" that this program was about the pain and suffering a beautiful child went through because of human selfishness. It's not about the money!!  It's about doing the right thing at the right time in the right place.
 

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October 30, 2007, 3:07 am PDT

Seriously!

Quote From: chelly6269

The only unbelieveable woman on this show was Enrique's new girl--totally heartless.  She is obviously either not very bright or truly heartless.  I dont care how much you hate his former wife (which by the way is whats going on here) please dont mold your husband into this evil act that he has completed against the child.  Yes Maria made a mistake-and has admitted it fully.  She has also spent the entirety of her life making it up to this child--even finding an individual that is MAN enough to WANT to father this beautiful baby girl.  With all due respect to Enrique Maria couldnt "breakup" with this child at a park like a PUNK.  All she could do was pick up her children and try to clean up the mess that Enrique and his total DRAGON-LADY WIFE MIA made.  I think Enrique might be a good person--just totally manipulated by this yucky lady. 

 

Maria and her baby girls will be just fine.  Enrique can keep writing the checks--fatherhood isnt all about sperm.  Get a life dude.

A mistake, this woman acts like she is without any faults, she knew from day one this may not be his child even by her own admission, and please tell me how you think she is making this up to her daughter, not once did she say well your father is right I made a mistake and I'm sorry for the problems this has caused you let's try to work this out together?  No she didn't, now if it's not about money with her why did she move for 0% parental activity but 100% child support. It seems to me his ex-wife isn't the MONEY HUNGRY DRAGON LADYl it's his new wife, I think this man is lucky to finally have a woman to think of him and his feelings because her love for him is apparent, and it looks like he's been lacking that from being with this woman for so long!

 
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October 30, 2007, 3:26 am PDT

10/29 Parent Trap

That lady had such a smug look on her face the whole show. She should be ashamed but you could tell she wasnt, she let everyone know she got away with it. She wanted everyone to blame the guy. She should be out looking for the real father.
 
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