Topic : 12/25 Parent Trap

Quote From: nataluscious

 I just watched this show (thanks TiVo!) and while I am not usually compelled to go on to these message boards, this subject had me reeling.  There is no doubt this man was betrayed by his then-wife.  First with the affair, than with the lie that lasted for 10 years.

But what about the so-called father?  I have never been so disgusted with someone before.  This idea that who you can love is only dictated by biology is ridiculous.  I can sympathize with the shock, anger and sadness he must have gone through upon finding out his wife had lied and his daughter was not, in actuality, his.  But what I can't sympathize with was his incredibly rash decision to tell his two very young children exactly what happened and then callously throw Selena away without a second thought.  He may argue that it was much more difficult than that, but I would venture to guess that is exactly how it felt to poor Selena. 

Why didn't he, upon finding out this information, deal directly with his ex-wife?  Perhaps he shouldn't owe child support - perhaps he should contest that in court.  But why couldn't he continue his relationship with her and deal with the money issue away from Selena and with his ex-wife in a court of law?  He said he regrets to the core of his being the fact that he abandoned this girl.  But he's had three years to change that bad decision and he hasn't.  How much regret is in that?  What would ever compel a person to sign away their rights to a child they have loved as their own for 10 years?

I wish Dr. Phil had spent more time on those issues and less on the money aspect.  I would agree that this man should not be held financially responsible, because if there has to be a cut off somewhere legally, it seems a biological line would be the most black and white.  If a man marries a woman with a newborn and raises that child for 10 years and then they divorce, is he legally entitlted to pay child support?  No.  So I am not saying this man should be forced to pay money.  But from watching the show it seemed only two options were really highlighted - either full support in terms of time, relationship AND money, or nothing.  And the audience seemed to suffer from multiple personalities - clapping at everything argument.

So my point is that money aside, this man failed tremendously as a father and as a human being.  You love someone because of who they are and the relationship you share.  Not because you share DNA.  Shame on you for making an emotional issue a monetary one.  In the end, it is YOU who has lost out, and no amount of money in your savings account is going to change that.

Quote From: christab

You ARE your father's child and THAT is what I meant.  I don't care how old you are. 

 

Children grow up and move away, your spouse is sopposed to be your companion not your kids.

 

Men with kids are used and always have way too many issues.  I was involved with one and did my charity work...it's not worh it.

 

Enrique's got his head on straight...He's listening to his WIFE.  Good man.

 

Mia and Enrique, if you're reading this...Don't bother with what some of these bean brains say, you follow your hearts and stick together...you'll be fine, you're successful and smart people, don't worry.

Quote From: fairmindedlady

You're exactly right. Her views are outrageous and radical.

Quote From: tylerby9

  We are parents to 8 children,a blended family.12 years strong and yes we are PARTNERS for the children sake BUT our job is to protect our children regardless,it is a package deal or NO DEAL.We do not pick each other OVER our children.We communicate & deal together FOR our children.Children come first,noone you meet or bring into their lives should EVER be chosen over them. I love my husband BUT if I do not consider my children EQUAL ,not before or after then not only does that make me immoral BUT that makes me a BAD parent.

 If someone chooses their partner over their children,that were here before them then sorry to say,that is one weak person.....and a failure,as a protector and nurturer of their children.SO be it,the choice you make.Dating men only w/out children,but I have to wonder,is that because you are too selfish too share that love & want NOONE before you.Love is sacrifice,seems you have no time for....