Topic : 12/25 Parent Trap

What the mom did was wrong, obviously (and I wish that there was a punishment we could dole out to women who do this that wouldn't hurt their children).  Enrique was deceived, also obvious...  What doesn't seem to be so obvious to many here is that the child DOES belong to Enrique.  What I mean by this is that biology doesn't play a role in the relationship/feeling between parent and child, NOR SHOULD IT.  If I learned today that my child was not mine (whether through deception or a hospital error) it wouldn't change my love for my child, nor my desire to continue providing the best I can financially.  Money IS important in that it sends a message (a strong one) to the child about whether you treasure them or your money more.  I would want my child to know that regardless of whose they were biologically, that I would and will always consider them MINE.  And I'd make sure to reinforce this by providing for them financially!  I wouldn't allow for any question at all to permeate my kid's thoughts about where my loyalties are!

Enrique got screwed, but that in no way changes (or rather, shouldn't have changed) the fact that he has been her father!  Where are his feelings for her????  (His daughter is very bright to have heard his sudden and renewed interest in her with skepticism!) How could he have treated someone he raised from infancy, and supposedly loved, that way????  I wouldn't wish that kind of treatment on my worst enemy.  The feelings of abandonment this poor girl must feel, I can't imagine.  She may not realize this now, but I have no doubt that those feelings of abandonment and mistrust will affect her future relationships because they will affect how she feels about herself.  I pray she gets the help she needs as she grows to realize exactly what Dr. Phil said -- that she is worthy of love regardless of what that pseudo-father did to her. 

Frankly, I don't know how some people here can justify anything but a continuation of  a fatherly relationship, and that includes a FINANCIAL one.  NOT because this is "fair" to him, but because (more importantly) it is what is "fair" and right for HIS DAUGHTER.  And again, he should want to.  If I were him, I wouldn't care about seeking out the biological father so as to pay for my kid's expenses.  I would want nothing to do with him in fact, so as not to ruin the stability I would hope to continue to provide, (until my child wanted to seek him out, that is.  It's only natural that kids want to know who they biologically came from at some point in their lives).  My kid is mine.  Period.  I WOULDN"T ALLOW ANYTHING TO CHANGE THAT.  THAT"S WHAT UNCONDITIONAL LOVE IS SUPPOSED TO BE, ENRIQUE...

Finally, I imagine that several conditions must have existed for Enrique to be so cruel to the daughter he raised for ten years:  1) that he didn't really love her and 2) that he hated his wife so much for deceiving him that he preferred torturing his daughter in this way so as to punish the mother, (rather than seeing his daughter as the gift she is). Bottom line is that I would likely have divorced my wife and FOUGHT to keep my daughter(s)!  As for the poor daughter, I can't believe that now that she has another loving father in her life, Enrique decides that he wants and misses her....  REALLY?!? I  t took you YEARS to realize this, Enrique?!?  What a prince you are... You took the only father she had away from her (you), and now you don't want to give her a decent chance at a life with another man who DOES want to be her father and sees her as the blessing she is.  Something YOU couldn't do.  You've proven yourself completely unworthy of her.  Your "judgement" isn't the only thing that is bad.... YOU are!

I am awfully disappointed by the blogs I have read on this site. Everyone seems to be very concerned about the adults in this situation - too concerned over who did what to who. My concern goes in the other directions - what have these adults done to the children in this case?

While I agree that the adults are anguished over the betrayal and the financial aspects of this case, I find three out of four of them to be totally self serving, thoughtless and incompassionate about the impact this situation has on the children.  What Maria did was wrong, but the reaction of her ex-husband was horrid and inexcusable. I was struck with the impression that he simply wasn't man enough to stand up to Maria, so he took it out on the innocent child who had no control over what had happened. I was appalled to hear about how he took her to the park to explain to her that she wasn't his biological daughter and then shut her out of his life. What was he thinking he would accomplish? What a coward!! There couldn't have been a worse way for him to handle this problem. And, his current wife may have acted like a bystander, but she was clearly a catalyst in prompting him to act. Then, Maria sat there on the stage with a smirk on her face as if this was just a shrewd joke. This is no joke - a child has been scarred emotionally because the adults in her life were too selfish and thoughtless to take her feelings into consideration. The only adult in the group who displayed true redeeming value was Chris, thankfully, as he seems to have the interest of the child in his heart.

Selina is a beautiful, intelligent and articulate young lady now and she will overcome this in the long run. However, no one can truly conceive of how painful this must have been for her when Enrique took her to the park where she had enjoyed playing, for the sole purpose of crushing her heart and ripping her world apart. I could have and would have had compassion for his plight if he had not taken such lowly measures to lash out at Maria. Essentially, he used Selina as a weapon to hurt Maria - and it was Selina who suffered the brunt of the pain. Maria looked pretty much unscathed to me. But, this hurts Selina's older sister, too. Enrique has put her in the position of being riddled with guilt and confusion. It must weigh heavily on her young heart that she gets to go visit her dad while her precious little sister is cut off.

To that end I suggest that a special guardian should be appointed to look out for the best interest of Selina. Go ahead and relieve Enrique of any child support requirement and have the special guardian sue him on behalf of Selina for the emotional anguish he inflicted on her. Don't let Maria have a dime of it and instead set up a trust fund for Selina to finance her college education. Enrique may not be responsible for paying child support for a child who is not his, and Maria certainly isn't entitled to receive any child support from him - but, Selina deserves to be compensated for the heartache that Enrique inflicted on her. And, in the meantime, sue Maria too on Selina's behalf, again placing the funds in a trust for her. If the interest of the child becomes primary in cases like this, maybe adults will be less likely to put themselves first in the future.

No one should have to be court ordered to pay for a child that isnt theirs.  However, that is just not the point here.  Enrique should NOT be mandated to pay child support.  I may feel differently if the child were to suffer financially.  I dont think this is the case here.

I dont see any differences with my situation.  He is my fiancée, soon to be my husband.  Not much difference!  The feelings of pain and frustration are the same. We have just handled it all way better than they have. 

  DNA doesnt matter one bit to us.  We love this child.  We should provide financially at times.  Just not court ordered.  The mother of the child understands this since we have continued to be I the childs life. 

The adults have to act responsibly here.  Submitting this child to all of this is just deplorable.  These people need to grow up.  This is not about them anymore. 

My husband was a victim of Paternity Fraud. He asked her if the child was his while she was still pregnant, because her ex boyfriend told people it was his baby, and she lied and said her ex was just trying to start trouble. Long story short, she did cheat and she lied about the paternity.

Shouldn't men get to decide whether they even want to stay married to someone who cheated on them and whether to raise another man's baby?

Like Carnell said, DNA needs to be mandatory at each and every birth. This way men would KNOW for certain and he would get to make the decision for HIMSELF whether to raise another man's child or not. Either way, he would have a say so and it would be up to him, NOT the women!  I don't think the choice should be made FOR him.

Why should a man have to pay support for another man's child, just because maybe he makes more money than the bio dad, or just because she is afraid he will leave her? He still has a right to know the truth.

Right now, if a man finds out, most times he is still forced to pay support. Go after the bio dad, make the mother pay back every red cent to the man who had been paying support. Yes, sometimes there is a bond there and that's the only father the child has known, but would the man have ever had that bond to begin with had he known his wife cheated and the child wasn't even his??

What's so hard about making DNA testing mandatory at birth, whether you're married or not, and this would put  STOP to Paternity Fraud?!

This child would not even be in this situation had the mother not frauded Enrique into believing this child was his from day one.

Nothing to do with the man that has offered to adopt her.......the BIO dad should have a say so in this......after all, he was robbed of a relationship with his bio child from day one. Maybe the step father is putting on a show, you don't know. Seriously, he knows this woman he is with is capable of frauding him, why would he want to get in a mess like that, where she may cheat on him down the road and then stick him with paying support on the child. Maybe she has it all planned out!

I feel sorry for Enrique and men like him who are tricked and frauded.