Topic : 12/25 Parent Trap

Quote From: lighthouseguy

 Mia,

I appreciate your response and I believe a good majority of your intentions were good and I don't think you are a villain by any means as I too think the truth of a situation should always come out; however, I also think you may be kidding yourself on your motives behind all this being so innocent.  I know you could probably care less what I think in all this as a stranger, but for you to say you are only concerned with the truth and how all can benefit from this and so and so forth, I just don't believe that that was what motivated your actions at the start of all this.  You came across as a very anger person on the show (for good reason btw), but I can only imagine how much more angry you were prior to all this when you felt your husband was being scammed by Maria, whom I hold ultimately responsible for this entire mess.  I just think you are attempting to put a  more positive face or spin on this considering the horrific damage all this caused.

The only other thing I can really add to this is that if you were so involved in having your husband "bring out the truth" than you should also have been a more intricate part with the manner in which he handled all this and it's aftermath.  If you did all this out of great love for everyone (a tough pill to swallow), than you owed to your husband and the child he's always known as his family to see this through in a more productive manner.  You can't start the ball rolling on this kind of explosive and sensitive situation and then sit back and say "I'm not involved in splitting this family up" or "I don't feel it's my place to tell my husband how to feel about this."  That's what I mean by not owning up to where ALL of the adults failed this poor child who is the real victim in this in the end.  You are no saint in this regardless of your motives.

Mia, I think you are a good person and certainly a loyal and loving wife, and I think your motives where to protect your husband in the best way you saw fit at the time, but you do lack credibility here by insisting all your intentions were innocent.  Falling back, as Gloria had done to sickening effect, that everything is for the "well-being of the child", then you should concede that more consideration should have been paid regarding the impact this glorious truth was going to have on this innocent child and after really initiating all this, it is very disappointing to here you now remove yourself from it all with how you don't want to tell your husband how to feel.  That didn't seem to bother you before the news broke.  Personally, I think you owe it to him more now than ever.

Mia, as his current wife, and an intricate part of this whole mess, your husband absolutely needs every bit of wisdom you have to offer him right.  You owe it to him to help him get on a path that will heal both him and his relationship with this girl he was once so proud to call his daughter.  After initiating this, you really can't sit back and say and think it's all up to Enrique in how he wants to handle and feel about this.  Everyone needs your love, support, and wisdom more than ever and, believe it or not, no one has more influence over how this situation gets resolved than you do.  Only you can really assist your husband now in a positive manner, Mia.  Don't let guilt, fear, or false respect for your husband's feelings keep you from being the positive force he needs.

I apologize if I have offended you at all.  We are strangers and I only know what I see and read.  I only have my own moral compass to work with and it's not everyone else's.  My prayers are sincerely with you, your husband (whom I know has to be devastated by events here), and Selina who should never have been hurt the way she was by all the adults who should have been protecting her.

With respect,
Steve

Quote From: ladypat26

You want to give a character witness for your friend Mia.  Well tho we don't know her we saw her in action on the show and she did not come across as this kind, loving person you claim to know.  I recognize a diabolical person when I see one.  She is one of those people.  Kind, loving people do not start things that can ONLY end up with a child being hurt.  Diabolical people DO and then profess honesty and justice, trying to make themselves look good.  Where is the justice for the child?  Your friend is a fraud. She was as transparent as glass on the show.  With a friend like her you sure don't need any enemies.  Don't tell her any of secrets, you may cross her one day.

Quote From: ladypat26

 Who made sure Enrique found out he wasn't the dad??? Dear old Mia.  If she would have kept her mouth shut and kept all her so called 'honesty' to herself.  Everyone could have gone on and had a happy life.  The nightmare she has brought on both Selina and Enrique goes on even beyond what the immoral mother did in the first place.  I am NOT defendingt her.  I agree she did the wrong thing.  But now instead of taking the high road for the sake of the child we have everyone wanting to be RIGHT in spite of the child.   This is the BIGGEST CRIME OF ALL!

Quote From: twocutetwocare

I live in Alberta, Canada and I recently separated from my husband. It is mandatory that we each attend a parenting class upon separation. It is mostly common sense but basically it teaches us that this is about the children, not us. One topic covered was child support and an interesting fact emerged from this. A woman can claim child support from the biological father as well as the child's father figure. In this case, as shown on Dr. Phil, he had raised the child as his own for 10 years and is obligated to pay child support. The mother could also collect from the biological father. As well, I suppose, if she divorced the man that she is marrying (after a certain amount of time, I believe) he would also be obligated to pay child support. This may not seem "right" or "fair", however it is so. We must remember what is in the best interest of the child(ren) involved.

Quote From: ladypat26

You want to give a character witness for your friend Mia.  Well tho we don't know her we saw her in action on the show and she did not come across as this kind, loving person you claim to know.  I recognize a diabolical person when I see one.  She is one of those people.  Kind, loving people do not start things that can ONLY end up with a child being hurt.  Diabolical people DO and then profess honesty and justice, trying to make themselves look good.  Where is the justice for the child?  Your friend is a fraud. She was as transparent as glass on the show.  With a friend like her you sure don't need any enemies.  Don't tell her any of secrets, you may cross her one day.

Quote From: kat3633

Thank you for sending a response to my post but I believe you are wrong in your statement that Mia IS NOT an outsider.

 

I have been a paralegal for 15+ years, working primarily in family law, and I think I've just about seen/heard it all.

 

I'm sorry but Mia's only standing, as far as our courts here are concerned, is that of Enrique's wife.  She has no right or standing in custody or any other matters involving Enrique's parent/child relationship, either with his daughters OR his ex-wife. She's nothing but a trouble maker, but hey, that's just my opinion...

 

Over the years I have known only two men in a similar situation.  They had been paying child support for years for a child BORN OUT OF WEDLOCK to an ex-girlfriend.  Years later they found out, by whatever means, that the child wasn't their biological child.  They called our office because domestic relations refused to cancel their child support obligation.  The  first question I had was: "Why didn't you ask for a paternity test as soon as the mother filed for child support, when the child was born?"  I received vary vague answers to that question.  My point in making the statement regarding paternity testing is "when in doubt, check it out".  In other words, ASK FOR A PATERNITY TEST AS SOON AS THE CHILD IS BORN, OR THE MINUTE THE MOTHER FILES FOR SUPPORT, DON'T WAIT MONTHS/YEARS AND WONDER!  On the very first DAY of a support hearing, if a punitive father DOESN'T request a paternity test and just agrees to pay, the court PRESUMES that this person admits paternity and that's the way it will stay.  That is how the assumption of paternity is made by the courts in the first place.  I feel sorry for them, but...

 

In addition, in making the statement regarding paternity testing, I am NOT referring to children born OF A MARRIAGE, I only refer to children born OUT OF WEDLOCK.  Married people don't take each other to court for child support unless they separate.  Even then, a married father cannot question paternity. 

 

I was involved in two cases where men filed for custody of a child born of an adulterous relationship. In both cases the mother (adulterer) was still married and cohabitating with her spouse.  The court refused to hear both of those cases because the cheated on SPOUSE refused to CONCEDE PATERNITY OF THE CHILD regardless.  They are the true heros in my book.

 

BTW I, personally, have never been involved in a case where a married man separated from his spouse and THEN requested a paternity test.

 

 

 

Quote From: believeucan

First of all, the mother should be held accountable in some way shape or form!!! She's the one that started the whole thing to begin with. She lied, cheated and totally abused the marriage in the first place. Why isn't SHE being punished in all this??? Next, if a man doesn't KNOW that his wife cheated on him, how in the world would he suspect his "child" not being his own??? In my opinion, when a man is deceived by who is really a child's father, he should NOT have to pay child support once he does find out. I think he should have the right to CHOOSE if he continues to pay or not WITHOUT penalty. He should also be allowed to remain in the child's life as an active figure if the CHILD so chooses and he should not have to pay to continue the relationship. He was clearly wronged into thinking he was the father and if he  has proof he isn't, then the mother should be punised and that man should have free rain to choose his destiny with the child. Money doesn't have to be the issue. IF the man is not the father and he doesn't wish to continue paying for another man's child, BUT he wants to continue the relationship with the child he should be allowed to do that. (Afterall, didn't Ms. Allred state that the child was the one needing the attention??? What has that got to do with the man continuing to be deleted of his money after finding out he's not the father??) The child can still be the main focus, but the man shouldn't be punished for a deceptive mother!