Topic : 12/25 Parent Trap

I am the life-long step-mother of a thirty year-old daughter. Now I am the Grandmother to two of my daughter's children. Who are you people who can just drop your love for a child you raised? You are missing out on a treasrue that some people would die for. You have a child's love (Selena's) and you throw it away for a selfish witch of a step-mother who needs to keep all of the money to herself.

You are right, the mother Maria is criminal in her behavior, but you loved that child and that child loved you. And YOU Enrique, were not even her real Father. Imagine that! She loved you anyway! Without even carrying your blood she LOVED YOU! You are a weak and spineless Man who will let a new young wife ruin your family. I am sorry that you feel you got screwed. you did, financially. But what is that compared to what you had?

I am the happiest MOM and Grandma in the world and believe me I have paid financially, gladly! My daughter's own father disowned her because his present wife witch cannot bear to have "competition" for her love. Enrique grow up! what price does your love carry? Too much for either of your daughter's I imagine. Watch out because Mia will make sure that do lose the other daughter too. And really, why should Maricela ever trust you either?

After watching the episode on "parent trap" I can understand both sides. I don't think that Enrique should have to pay child support. He shouldn't have cut his daughter out of his life, but he shouldn't have to pay for his wifes mistake. She should take some responsibility for once in her daughters life and find the biological father. It should not be Enriques responsibility nor burden to finance what she and her "friend" should be taking care of.

Dr. Phil made the statement that Enrique was the victim yet he was the main focus of the show.  His ex-wife was reprimanded, but that lasted a minute maybe while Enrique's mistakes were stated over and over again.  Then Gloria Allred the "high-profile feminist attorney," had the nerve to defend this woman's actions and again go after Enrique. It is very admirable that Gloria Allred does defend the right's of women, but please don't disgrace us by defending the actions of a woman who not only cheats on her husband, but allows him to raise the child without ever offering up the truth to him.  Then comes on the show and wants him to continue to pay for her mistake.  If it's about the child and not about money, shouldn't she be asking him to have a relationship with Selena rather than giving money. 

So if my husband has a daughter and I as her stepmother help support her, but unfortunately our relationship ends, do I then pay child support to him because I helped raise her for a number of years.  No, I don't think so.  We as women demand to be treated equally as men; then why is it when it comes to these kind of situations we put men on an uneven playing field? 

On this day, I am ashamed to be a woman! 

  Back in 1987 they didn't have DNA testing you believed the person or your mate!..   Your caught up in emotions and you dont think straight.  I was in a relationship we broke up and she started seeing someone else.  A month later she comes to me and tells me she is pregnant and the child is mine.  i questioned her about this and asked her point black are you sure its mine.  She told me yes!  I asked are you sure its not the other guy you have been seeing.  She tells me its not his,  he told her that because of an accidgent when he was a kid he couldn't have kids.

Because of my up bringing i was raised to dothe right thing and we got married in Nov 87.  The child was born April 88.  We seperated a month later.  She went back to the guy she was seeing before we got married.  In Aug 88 we got back together.  Sept we found out she was pregnant again.  WE were going to church and i was reaised to forgive and let it go.   We moved to Washington and started over.  We were both going to church and things were going great.  I was in a squadron and was going on DETS and wasn't home alot.  May 89 the second child was born.

I went on cruise Mar. 90  and thing went to hell in a hay basket.  While on cruise my wife at the time told me she had an affair.  I was devistated.  i cired myself to sleep for the next two months not knowing what i was going to face when i got home from cruise.  I wasnt getting any mail until the United States was involved in Desert Shield.  She wrote me told me she moved back to Washington and was sorry for what she had done.  Being a Christian your suppose to forgive and let go right?

Well  i got back two weeks late from the Cruise and two weeks later we fine out she was pregnant.  There were no laws saying you could contest the DNA back then.  Your married and thats the bottom iine.  The third child was born May 91.  We were seeking counseling thru our church but yet again i was not home much do to going on Dets with my Squadron.   My sqaudron was called out to the Gulf Oct 91 and i followed Dec 20th 91 i missed Christmas that year.

Now the last time i went on Cruise i was sending 2200 dollars home a month and kept only 200 for myself.  I did the same thing this time.  By Feb my wife at the time went to Red Cross told them that she didnt have any money.  They contacted my CO and he told me that if i didnt show him that i wasnt sending money home that he was put me in the Brig.  Luckily My LES showed i was telling the truth.  She proceeded to call my parents up and tell the she need money for a car payment they gave it to her what she forgot to tell the that the car was already repo'd.  She told them she didnt have any money for food and want them to send her money.  What the did was drove up to Washington to see what was going on.

my parents go up there to find her having a party and so she took  my parents to the store and they bought over 300 dollars worth of  food.  When they got back to put the food in the cupboards they were full of food she lied again!!!!  I got back from cruise in Mar 92 to find out that she put us back in debt and she had another affair agian!

Now i wrestled with what to do.  my christian back ground was fighting against im pissed what am i going to do?  what can i do?  i did this for a year.  Finally i decided to get a divorce.  I filed Aug 93 and requested a petition for DNA.  The judge denied me the rights to DNA and verbally told me, " He wasn't going to make bastards out of these Kids.   Not only that, when  your married in the military you get other allowances such has BAQ, VHA, and COMRATS.  this pushed my monthly income to a litte over 2400 dollars.  Onvre you divorced the military only give you your base salary which was a little over 1400 dollars a month.  The base my support to her on what i was getting and not what i would be getting in a prelimary hearing.  1200 a month and i was to be ordered to take all the bills.  Let see 1415-1200 and take all the bills equals 0 and no life.

The only thing for me to do was to get back with wife and live a lie.   In 95 i got out of the service and we seperated.   in 96 i filed for divorce and being that laws didnt give me any rights and that a judge told me that i couldnt have DNA done in 93.  When i filed i didnt petition for DNA and because she was in a different state she didnt contest the divorce.  DEC 96 the divorce was finalized and jan 97 She sent our middle child to me.   Siad she couldnt handle her and that i need to take care of her.  i did so, put her in school and in to piano lesson.  After 6 months she started missing her mother and sisters.  i wasnt dating anyone and i ended up moving them all back up here cause she couldnt get along with her family.

Two years later cause i thought i was ding the right thing we remarried in Aug 1999.  I had been given a 30% disable score and was trying to get antoher thing out on my disability which if i was a proved they would have given me 20,000 in back pay well in the beginning of NOV i was denied and she started her affair with a guy that she is with to this day.

In Dec she tells me she is starting to have feelings for this guy in Feb 2000 she tells me i need to move out.  In March she tells me that she got flowers and a card saying there is someone thinking about you on your birthday.  I tell her you want him you got him im out of here.  I go back three days later with my parents to get my stuff waited till the kids went to school.  I didnt want any trouble just my stuff.  Well she calls the police and scince she has been working for the welfare office she goes to court that day and lies.  Tells the judge im on drugs and im and alcoholic and that i beat her.  She was granted the restaining order and wiht in two weeks her new boyfriend moves in.

Now being that i was disabled and were both going to school.  We were able to get into state housing.  Once i left she never told that state the he was living there.   Within a year she is in section 8 housing again she never told the state that he was living there.  Let me inform you this guy is a machinist makes over 20 and hour.  With in two years they are able to buy a house.

Now getting back to the kids.  She made it a living hell for me  to see them. for the first 3 months then when i filed for divorce Sept 2000.  My father had recently passed away.  She tired to tell her attorney that was getting money from the state.  My had to prove that i wasnt getting anything that they and a living will and that she was the sole beni.  this was the first time She tried to take my moms money.

Well in Dec 2000 i took it on myself to have DNA done.  i was informed my three attorneys that i didnt have to pay anything till i was ordered to. And by DADS.  I found out that The court system goes back from the time of filing.  With the swing of the gavle i was 7000 in debt.   Now in court i wasnt able to affrod an attorney and i tried to show proof that she was frauding the state housing and the child support.  SHe got money from the state for child care.  She split it with her neighbor.  I had witness and proof that many time the neightbot wasnt home and a mutual friend at the time was actually going to the house unlocking the door and letting the kids in and she would stay there until my soon to be ex wife got home.

In court i asked my ex wife not once, not twice, but three time.  isnt it true the everytime i went on cruise you would put me in debt and have an affair on me.  She denied it all three times.  this Judge, Judge wyaht tells me how dare you get this girl pregnant at such a young age take her out of school and do this to her.

The divorce was finalized FEB 5th and on the 20th i got the results back from the DNA.  I was sick to my stomach,  hurt, i cried and i was pissed all of the same time.  I found out that the oldest and youngest were not mine biologically.  i took this in for a few days and finally called my ex-wife and told her we need to talk in person.  she kept presisting that i tell her on the phone.  Finally i said one word "DNA"  she yells DNA OMG which two are not yours i found out later all three kids were standing right around her.   FOr the next 10 months she kept the kids from me and made it hard to have a relationship with them.  The courst say its in the best interst of the kids what they fail to see is most woman that have no morals use the kids as pawns.  due to my disabilities i wasnt able to keep a job but it was Aug and i was able  to start paying support in DEC right before Christmas she let me see them again.  i worked hard to build that relationship up witht he kids.

We fathers have hearts you know.  well two years goes by and well i was unemployed and now im 50% disabled and i went back to the court just to get my support reduced.  She obtianed an attorney and so did it this time.  Cost me 3000 when it was all over.  This time she told her attorney that i had access to my moms money cause i was living with her at the time and that it should be concidered as income.  my mom once again had to prove that i had no access to her income.  ONce and She tells the girls that i dont want to be there dad and thats why im taking her to court.  i went another 10 months without seeing them.  They believed her and were mad at me.  i havent had a real relationship with them for years now i can count maybe 4 years in all 2 years 93 to 95 and two years 97to 99.

TO this day its all aobut the money.   She would let me be but Since i got married everything has started up again.  Im over 20000 in back support.  the court doesnt care if your disabled they dont care if your not the real father or not they have someone that they can take money from.  i have had my liscence revoked twice now and reenstated.  How are you suppose to go to work if you dont have a car to drive.  They take 50% of your income once you do get a job.  Oh and your suppose to keep supporting the child if they go to college.  I know that if your married the government dont make you pay for your kids to go to college but they make madatory for fathers to.  What is sad its not that you dont want to support the kids but it the fact that your giving your hard earn money to an ex that was unfaithful to you and watch them waste the money on everything but the kids.  Oh then your suppose to drop everything and not only send the support money but help pay for school clothes and glasses and sports activities when is enough enough!!!!